Friday, November 30, 2007

The Inscrutable Heathen Chinee

Brender
1. "I Must, I Must, I Must increase my bust..."

2. Even in China, you can always spot an affirmative action hire.

3. The New Gillette Mach 4K ... 4,000 blades for a shave so close, even a Chinese thug feels as smooth as Patrick Stewart's head.

4. "Don't you hate it when that happens?"

5. "O.K., give him the Klondike bar."

Best of prince of leaves
The workout demonstration for the new recruits was going well, until Sargeant Yee got his tongue caught in the knockoff Jack Lalane Power Excerciser and had to be airlifted to Hong Kong for reconstructive surgery.

Best of Shayne
Chinese orthodontic torture was never as popular as their water torture.

Best of Jack Reacher
Due to spiraling demand for their services, torturers were kept so busy in China that some dissidents were forced to torture themselves.

Best of Silhouette
But in Communist China, Bo Frex Yu.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
An instant after this photo was snapped, the left handle suffered a catastrophic structural failure. The ensuing backlash stuffed Wang entirely into his own scrotum.

Best of Adjustah
Yeah, I get it, his name is, "Ping". Now come over here and help me find his Adam's apple...


23 comments:

prince of leaves said...

The workout demonstration for the new recruits was going well, until Sargeant Yee got his tongue caught in the knockoff Jack Lalane Power Excerciser and had to be airlifted to Hong Kong for reconstructive surgery.

prince of leaves said...

The Chinese women's swim team prepares for next summer's Beijing Olympics.

Shayne said...

The Chinese orthodontic torture was never as popular as their water torture.

Van Helsing said...

Theoretically, slingshots with which Chinese paratroopers could fire themselves at the enemy could be a big improvement over parachutes, since no airplanes would be required. However, a few bugs remain to be worked out. If only Americans would perfect the technology first, so the Chinese could copy it…

Jack Reacher said...

Due to spiraling demand for their services, torturers were kept so busy in China that some dissidents were forced to torture themselves.

Jack Reacher said...

It turns out there are actually several disadvantages to lead-based floss.

Silhouette said...

But in Communist China, Bo Frex Yu.

Submariner said...

One more reason you don't want to have a high plaque build-up in Beijing...

Submariner said...

The Epilady Mk 1 proved no more popular in China than it had in France.

Submariner said...

Tomollow, I stlech FIVE Srinkies!

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

An instant after this photo was snapped, the left handle suffered a catastrophic structural failure. The ensuing backlash stuffed Wang entirely into his own scrotum.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

The PLA today unveiled its latest accomplishment, the bionic accordian player.

attmay said...

He sure can stretch that thing, but his belting out of "Feelings" leaves a bit to be desired.

Army of Dad said...

After the severe facial damage from this unfortunate work out accident Lee found he could properly say his L's in English.

Anonymous said...

How poor posture is corrected in totalitarian countries.

--DaveP.

Whacko said...

Is this the punch line for 'how many chicoms does it take to change a lightbulb'?

Submariner said...

Once he let go, Wang Chunged...

Anonymous said...

Shaving is a bitch in the NORK Army.

Submariner said...

Guy on the right's thought bubble; "I'd be a lot more impressed if it was razor-wire..."

Double the U said...

Ok, you guys in the back, when he lets go I want you all to shout, "BOING-OING-OING-ING!"

Kaptain said...

The next day...

"Yes, I'd rike to buy the "Arnord Schwalzeneggal Barberr Kit".

"Sure thing, little dude. Hey, what's the chest band-aid for?"


/Obscure?

Adjustah said...

Yeah, I get it, his name is, "Ping". Now come over here and help me find his Adam's apple...

divine miss m said...

The Chinese Crack Suicide Squad gets ready for deployment.