Friday, October 12, 2007

With Its Teeth, Dear

Timmah!
1. I CAN HAS CHUM?

2. Bill never figured out why Hillary agreed to let him take a scuba trip with Jaquelyn Mackie Paisley Passey until it was too late.

3. Steve Irwin's daughter aspired to follow in her father's footsteps, and in a way, she did.

4. "Look, honey! The Coeur de la Mer! We're rich!"

5. Still safer than standing between Chuck Schumer and a TV camera.

Best of lawhawk
John Edwards and Barack Obama don't quite realize they're well and truly finished as Hillary inches up behind them.

Best of ThatGayConservative
"We're gonna need a bigger....oh s@#&!"

Best of metalgarth
Cover Illustration for 1st year Law School text book: "FINDING YOUR CLIENTS"

Best of The Man
Stay here honey, maybe the photographer is swimming away to get a wider angle.

Best of Army of Dad
"Candygram"

Best of Army of Mom
I told you to stop and ask for directions. But, do you ever listen to me? Noooooo. So, here we are in the wrong part of the ocean ...

Best of curly
Seconds later, Superhero Rosie O'Dumbell saved the day by hopping into the water and killing the shark and all of the aquatic life within a two mile radius.

Best of Submariner
Behind us? Don't fret - regardless of what it looks like, Rosie just rolled off her boat again...

Best of AJ
Mary picks the wrong time to start menstrating.


36 comments:

jeff said...

"Hi Mom!"

Slightly ORA: Albert Brooks and Ellen Degeneres meet the real "Bruce." Unfortunately, this one isn't on a 12 step program.

lawhawk said...

Objects in rear view mirror are indeed as they appear.

John Edwards and Barack Obama don't quite realize they're well and truly finished as Hillary inches up behind them.

ThatGayConservative said...

"We're gonna need a bigger....oh s@#&!"

metalgarth said...

Cover Illustration for 1st year Law School text book: "FINDING YOUR CLIENTS"

Whacko said...

Jaws preferred eating divers because the air hoses provided convenient flossing material.

Whacko said...

"Debra, I don't have to swim faster than the shark, I just need to swim faster than you."

The Man said...

Stay here honey, maybe the photographer is swimming away to get a wider angle.

Army of Dad said...

'ow to speak Australian: Dumbass.

Army of Dad said...

Wow, there are a couple of Master Baiters.

Army of Dad said...

"Mr. Jaws, can we take a picture with you?"

Army of Dad said...

"Candygram"

Army of Dad said...

Why did the Clinton travel agency tell us this diving trip was the Vince Foster special?

Army of Dad said...

The camera man tried to warn them, but all the other divers could hear was rookovrmmair. The guy on the left thought he said "look at her pair"

Army of Dad said...

Jenny thought that after catching a tarpon in a bikini getting a bigger fish in a wet suit woudl be easy.

Kevin Walker said...

"I wonder what sharkskin feels like?" Sully giggles perversly.

Rodney Dill said...

Lorena Bobbit: "You poke me with that again and I'll...."

Rodney Dill said...

"Did you have a fish sandwich for lunch?"

Army of Mom said...

I told you to stop and ask for directions. But, do you ever listen to me? Noooooo. So, here we are in the wrong part of the ocean ...

Army of Mom said...

Shark Week takes on a whole new meaning for the Jones family this year.

Army of Mom said...

Mike Rowe seriously reconsiders his "Dirty Jobs" series when the network hires him to be the shark's personal assistant for the week.

Army of Mom said...

Larry and Louise realized too late why the "Titanic" dive company's rates were so cheap.

Army of Mom said...

Honey, why do you suppose they asked us to sign those waivers before we dove?

Army of Mom said...

Divers are friends, not food.

Oh, f*** it. She's got a juicy ass!

Bruce falls off the wagon.

Army of Mom said...

*to the tune of Oscar Meyer's "My Bologna has a First Name"

My dinner has a first name,
It's Oscar.
My dinner has a second name,
It's Blair.
I love to eat them every day and if you ask me why I'll say, cuz Oscar and Blair have way with making my tummy full today.

prince of leaves said...

"No really, I swear, it wasn't me humming the 'Jaws' theme..."

Submariner said...

Da-amn, Sheila! Even in the ocean you smell like fish...

Submariner said...

'Ow to Speak Awstraylian;
Chumming

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "I wonder why the Captain said HE was "a luring" just before we dropped in?"

curly said...

"This is the last time that we take a ride with Ted Kennedy!"

curly said...

Seconds later, Superhero Rosie O'Dumbell saved the day by hopping into the water and killing the shark and all of the aquatic life within a two mile radius.

Submariner said...

Behind us? Don't fret - regardless of what it looks like, Rosie just rolled off her boat again...

AJ said...

Mary picks the wrong time to start menstrating.

Submariner said...

Failed Ad Campaigns #19 -

"Come to Jamaica to enjoy a taste of the islands..."

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Tired of it being considered a tame attraction, Disney executives decided to update the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride for 2008.

AJ said...

Fart bubbles...only funny to humans.