Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Un-Bearable Lightness of Being

Timmah!

1. Dad was obsessed with living a "John Irving lifestyle," even after Billy and Jennifer entered into an intense psycho-incestuous relationship and little Emily got her face mauled off.

2. "Yeah, it's smelly and dangerous... but still better than living with a fat bearded gay dude."

3. ORA: Privately, Sasha thought Dan Haggerty was a hot piece of a$$.

4. "Yeah, he may be a 'bear of little brain,' but he's hung like a Cydesdale."

5. Even bears were not immune to the charm of Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Ben, disturbed by Amber's oddly misshapen skull, stared intently at the screen and hoped she'd go away.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
TV and a couch: The bear neccessities.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Television: "Police uncovered a grizzly crime scene today..."

Best of Whacko
Bozo always controls the remote. No one ever objects.

Best of Rodney Dill
"No its Beren-STEEN"

Best of Rodney Dill
Suddenly everybody decided POO really was a good name.

Best of curly
The Hilldog fascinated Bozo because her phony laugh reminded him of a grizzly in heat.

Best of AJ
Max couldn't take the act any longer. He admits that he isn't a door to door salesman who just happened to stumble in on the Thompson's lives, but rather a Kodiak bear, the world's largest land carnivore and a damn liar.

Best of attmay
"You'd be surprised how easily and cheaply you can get old Disneyland animatronics. We've got a Pirate of the Caribbean in the basement"

Best of attmay
Smarter than the average bear? Hardly! All he ever watches is Springer and Friends.

34 comments:

attmay said...

"He still hasn't caught on that they cancelled The Gummi Bears nearly 20 years ago. We just ignore him."

attmay said...

"To answer your question: No. He goes in the toilet like everyone else."

attmay said...

Remember, only you can prevent Rosie from coming back to TV.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Ben, disturbed by Amber's oddly misshapen skull, stared intently at the screen and hoped she'd go away.

Son Of The Godfather said...

They're watching the Democrats debate? Good thing they're all playing dead.

Son Of The Godfather said...

TV and a couch: The bear neccessities.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Television: "Police uncovered a grizzly crime scene today..."

Whacko said...

Bozo always controls the remote. No one ever objects.

Whacko said...

Bozo had excellent hearing and sense of smell but could bearly see the screen.

Whacko said...

So do bears cross their legs when watching TV from a sofa? Just asking.

Rodney Dill said...

Padington always hogged the screen during the marmalade commercials.

Rodney Dill said...

Al Gore: "Look... I invented the Popeil Pocket Fisherman."

Rodney Dill said...

The Trunk Monkey was OK, but the Cellar Bear rocked.

Rodney Dill said...

"Go get dad's golf clubs, let's see if a bear shits in the woods."

Rodney Dill said...

"No its Beren-STEEN"

Rodney Dill said...

Suddenly everybody decided POO really was a good name.

Rodney Dill said...

Bart the bear always beat everyone else at Jeopardy

Rodney Dill said...

The Social Worker who decided to check on the kids, after they said they were gonna see 'Daddy Bare' was never seen again.

Rodney Dill said...

Due to heavy marketing support from the Honey Industry, Enumclaw Nights lasted for three seasons.

Rodney Dill said...

Everything was going smoothly until Emeril tried Roast Piglet, then the TV quickly departed through the window.

Rodney Dill said...

"It ain't over, til its over."

curly said...

The Hilldog fascinated Bozo because:

a. he realized how far he could go if he only shaved his back.
b. she’s so ugly, apparently he could read her lips.
c. her phony laugh reminded him of a grizzly in heat.
d. he never realized that he was being kept down by the man until he heard her speech.

curly said...

All hell broke out when Tiger Woods appeared on screen, prompting a disgusting bowel movement in the living room.

curly said...

Manbearpig forces his children to watch FoxNews.

wv: ywbreki -- "You breakie, you buyie!"

curly said...

Merrill Lynch may be bullish, but the bears are pulling for the Hilldog.

AJ said...

Hoping to land a spot on The Colbert Report's Threat Down, the contributors of Caption This! figure any picture with a bear will do.

AJ said...

Like predicting the tides, every October it's the same, both Cubs fans and actual bear cubs watch other baseball teams play on TV.

AJ said...

Max couldn't take the act any longer. He admits that he isn't a door to door salesman who just happened to stumble in on the Thompson's lives, but rather a Kodiak bear, the world's largest land carnivore and a damn liar.

AJ said...

Showing her commitment to the naturalist movement, Hillary enters her second week without shaving.

AJ said...

In an ironic twist, it's the Charmin bear in the commercial who reminds Bobo of what he forgot to to after he went to the bathroom.

Kaptain said...

"Hey hey, Boo-Boo, I found a nice spot for us and the pic-a-nic basket." Yogi's twilight years were spent as a life of quiet contemplation, with occasional regressions to his younger years.

attmay said...

"You'd be surprised how easily and cheaply you can get old Disneyland animatronics. We've got a Pirate of the Caribbean in the basement"

attmay said...

Smarter than the average bear? Hardly! All he ever watches is Springer and Friends.

AJ said...

I can't bear anymore of these corny comments with bear references.....oh... dammit.