Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Scene from a Rom Com Zom


1. "Zombies? Damn it! I knew they were too hot to be Code Pinkos!"

2. "Really, dude, how could we follow this up with Hot Fuzz. That movie sucked."

3. "Dude, first you put my Hillary Clinton fembot in a schoolgirl outfit, then you asked her a question about illegal immigration? Dude, you know that makes her bleed from her mouth!"

4. "Basically, they just shuffle around muttering 'universal health care' and 'comprehensive immigration reform.' They're completely brain-dead. But enough about the Democratic congress, how are we going to deal with these zombies?"

5. "I had to make them go outside. All they ever did was sit at the computer and spam 'Ron Paul' onto online polls."

Best of Jack Reacher
"They're suicide bombers. They're back because, well, they said the 72 virgins waiting for them all looked like Helen Thomas crossed with Maureen Dowd."

Best of Whacko
"Look, one of your 'friends' over there took my pocket protector and horn-rimmed glasses and I want them back!"

Best of Army of Mom
Are you sure you want to wait in the line for the Tower of Terror? Some of the people ahead of us look like they've been waiting a loooooong time.

Best of Army of Mom
Check out that chick back there. Now I know how the Code Pink whacko got her fingers covered in blood.

Best of Army of Mom
Why didn't you tell me it was 'undead day' at work? I would've left the tie at home.

Best of Army of Mom
No, you can't leave them in my garage. Does it have a sign in front saying "zombie storage?" No.

16 comments:

The Man said...

Are you telling me she actually said that Eliot Spitzer is trying to fill the vacuum, because zombies need to drive and come out of the shadows? Oh man we are never going to be able to drive!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Looks like the Dems are getting the dead to vote... again."

Jack Reacher said...

"They're suicide bombers. They're back because, well, they said the 72 virgins waiting for them all looked like Helen Thomas crossed with Maureen Dowd."

Whacko said...

"Look, one of your 'friends' over there took my pocket protector and horn-rimmed glasses and I want them back!"

Submariner said...

What do you mean when you say we've "...already run out of ladies fingers..."

Army of Mom said...

Are you sure you want to wait in the line for the Tower of Terror? Some of the people ahead of us look like they've been waiting a loooooong time.

Army of Mom said...

Check out that chick back there. Now I know how the Code Pink whacko got her fingers covered in blood.

Army of Mom said...

Dude, I can't take you home. My date is back there and the roofies have kicked in, so I need to get her back to my place.

Army of Mom said...

Pssst, get out your wallet. The church usher back there has the basket out and he looks pissed. Put a fiver in this time.

Army of Mom said...

Why didn't you tell me it was 'undead day' at work? I would've left the tie at home.

Army of Mom said...

Silky pony saw potential in that head full of black, thick, *licking lips* hair.

Army of Mom said...

Dude, I think I left the oven on.

Man, that is the least of your worries at this point.

Army of Mom said...

'Ow to speak Australian: smorgasboard.

Army of Mom said...

No, you can't leave them in my garage. Does it say zombie storage? No.

Army of Mom said...

Oh, look, the crowd is filing out from the Democrat presidential debates.

Army of Mom said...

Ok, listen, I snagged some of my mom's tampons, now one of us needs to tell Sally that she had an accident.