1. Gorefus was still miffed they didn't let him pose in the Western Hemisphere where Florida looked like his schlong.
2. "... and another push-pin for Monaco, and two for Cannes," Gorefus obsessively marks all the places he ass-raped Leo di Caprio.
3. "After we have solidified our position in Czechoslovakia, I expect Poland to fall within 40 days, then we will push on into Russia before the Winter!"
4. "Hey, the Earth's bald spot is almost as big as mine!"
5. Coincidentally, the same day the Earth had the best weather ever, Gorefus swelled to the size of his own ego and soon perished in the harsh vacuum of space.
Best of Sean Gleeson
"Also, in the future, there will be no ice cream. You'll just be holding an empty cone, like this."
Best of Sean Gleeson
"I have appeared in numerous major motion pictures. In this scene from The 40-Year-Old Virgin, that's me, to the right of the Universal logo."
Best of The Man
And then Al Gore collected all the world's nuclear weapons in a big net and threw them into the sun.
Best of The Man
Al Gore and Justin Timberlake's skit titled *ick in a Temperate Sustainable Ecosystem failed to produce any internet buzz.
Best of Whacko
"I'm too sexy for my planet ...."
Best of Kevin Walker
"... and another push pin for Norway." the Goracle obsessevely marks all of the places he ass raped science.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Actually I think the answer is closer to 43."
Best of Rodney Dill
"... and then I invented the Nobel Peace prize."
Best of Frank_IBC
...I want a g*dd**n concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a f**king up-tempo record every time I gotta do a g*dd**n global warming lecture! It's the last g*dd**n time; I want somebody who uses his f**king brain to not come out of a go*dd**n record... that's up-tempo and I've got to talk about a f**king planet dying!...Boy, is this f**king ponderous man...ponderous, f**king ponderous.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Yes, I put my elbow on Africa, and there's no controlling legal authority to tell me I can't."
Best of prince of leaves
Unable to resist smacking down his smarmy self-importance, Gaia sneaks into the Nobel award ceremony and gives St. Al a wedgie of planetary proportions.
Best of Submariner
Moments after sighting the Goreacle, the Fantastic 4 left the Baxter buiding to battle this hideous threat to the Earth's very existence.
Best of curly
Al new he was getting big when:
a. his shadow covered two continents;
b. he technically qualified to become a solar system;
c. he threatened to bitch slap Ghia if she didn’t cool down;
d. the tin foil hat crowd began referring to him as The Great Mother Ship.
Best of sonicfrog
So in love with the sound of his own voice, the former vp didn't even notice the enraged planet stalking him from behind, poised for the attack.
55 comments:
A tremendous mass of hot air was generated by the Sahara Desert.
Al Gore looked at that photo of himself, tears welling up, and thought how much happier things were during the Little Ice Age, before the time of the Great Expansion.
"Also, in the future, there will be no ice cream. You'll just be holding an empty cone, like this."
The Nobel Prize committee was baffled when the latest winner exclaimed, seemingly to noone, "WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE"
"...and on the seventh day, I rested."
When he said, "It's shrinking!" he wasn't talking about the polar ice cap.
"Does Africa make my ass look fat?"
"I have appeared in numerous major motion pictures. In this scene from The 40-Year-Old Virgin, that's me, to the right of the Universal logo."
Iranians no longer think that Mahmoud Ahmadinjad is the biggest bung hole in the land, thanks to Al Gore’s giant ass staring down on them.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that global warming exists. And like that... he is gone.
Algore's planetary girth succeded in a gravitational pull strong enough to attract the earth.
lockbox
And then Al Gore collected all the world's nuclear weapons in a big net and threw them into the sun.
Al, put a pin in China.
No Al, that's Denmark. You have no idea where China is, do you Al?
Al Gore and Justin Timberlake's skit titled *ick in a Temperate Sustainable Ecosystem failed to produce any internet buzz.
And on the eighth day, I created the internet.
"I'm too sexy for my planet ...."
Wow, this wax staute really does look like the real thing!
"... and another push pin for Norway." the Goracle obsessevely marks all of the places he ass raped logic.
"I am Algorax, I speak for the trees."
"Actually I think the answer is closer to 43."
"... and then I invented the Nobel Peace prize."
Winner of the 2007 Nobel Fleece Prize.
A Nobel Prize! Me! Al Gore! I can't believe that they believe this crap!
I am Truth. I am Love.
BWAHAHAHA. I am CORNHOLIO!
Al Gore, the epitomy of Global Smarming.
A few seconds after this picture was taken, a missed cue quickly wiped the smile from Al Gore's face...
...I want a g*dd**n concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a f**king up-tempo record every time I gotta do a g*dd**n global warming lecture! It's the last g*dd**n time; I want somebody who uses his f**king brain to not come out of a go*dd**n record... that's up-tempo and I've got to talk about a f**king planet dying!...Boy, is this f**king ponderous man...ponderous, f**king ponderous.
"Yes, I put my elbow on Africa, and there's no controlling legal authority to tell me I can't."
A large area of the earth was subjected to a solar eclipse in the shape of Al Gore today.
Al Gore tells Bjorn Lomberg his critique of human-induced global warming theory* is not cool, it's boring.
(*video semi-NSFW)
As Al Gore concluded telling his environmentalist fairy tale, he noted that he had the undivided attention of every little girl in the audience. The expression on his face shifted from its usual nerdish fervor to one of maniacal glee... he paused for a moment... and then he told his tiny captive audience, "Global warming means you're not going to have a pony. Never, no way, ain't never gonna happen. Bwahahahahahaha!!!"
The Earth, the Atmosphere, the Egosphere
e-C
Unable to resist smacking down his smarmy self-importance, Gaia sneaks into the Nobel award ceremony and gives St. Al a wedgie of planetary proportions.
Where will YOU be when your global warming kicks in?
"And to demonstrate that I am not in fact a climate change hypocrite, I will travel to Oslo on a Gulfstream powered entirely on biokerosene extracted from my own liposuction gunk!"
The comedy sketch portion of the Nobel award ceremony took a tragic yet ironic turn, when the giant rolling Indiana Jones boulder painted to look like Earth went out of control and steamrolled Al Gore.
"Only James Bond can stop my fiendish plan now, muahahahahahahhhh!"
Like all great con artists and salesmen, alGore's shtick began with "I just want you to keep an open mind here..."
Moments after sighting the Goreacle, the Fantastic 4 left the Baxter buiding to battle this hideous threat to the Earth's very existence.
Can't this thing spin any faster? I want Orange County to "Say hello to my little friend!"
Al gore is out of this world.
Al new he was getting big when:
a. his shadow covered two continents;
b. he technically qualified to become a solar system;
c. he threatened to bitch slap Ghia if she didn’t cool down;
d. the tin foil hat crowd began referring to him as The Great Mother Ship.
"Now is the time on Sprockets when we cover the Red States with warm yellow urine."
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
Gore tries to show that yes, the world does infact revolve around him.
Al then proceeds to unzip and urinate all over Europe.
"...and speaking of large 'hot air masses,' here's al'Gore with the weather..."
"...and there is absolutely NO truth to the rumor that I use the same amount of energy as 20 average American families. That would only be true of my Tennessee mansion minus the guest house..."
v word - skydikp
Open the sphincter door, Al.
Astronomers were undecided on what to call the new Al Gore planet, as UR-ANUS was already taken.
It seems even the Earth is sick of hearing Al Gore talk about global warming. The former VP is so in love with the sound of his own voice, he didn't even notice the enraged planet stalking him from behind, poised for the attack.
Al Gore's ego: Smaller than the Earth, Definitely bigger than the moon.
"God Dammit George! If you keep pointing that red lazer at my crotch, I swear I will unleash a world of pain on your ass! Sorry folks, where were we...ah, yes, I was counting off the awards I've won. Number 56..."
With his powerpoint presentation frozen, Al resorts to Plan B: Mobiles!
I’M IN URANUS, WARMING UR GLOBLALS.
I know it's too late, but I still can't resist...
"As Africa revolves into view, let me show all of you idiots in Florida the proper way to punch out a Chad!"
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