1. "Fact of the Day, Cats don't have nine lives."
2. "Ia, Cthulhu F'tagn!"
3. "And there will be Universal Health Care, even if I have to personally kill everyone who stands in my way!"
4. "Where's cousin Oliver, you ask? Which part of him?"
5. "So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, adieu..." and then, she whipped out an AK-47.
Best of ThatGayConservative
Swiss Miss Instant Death
with marshmallows.
Best of Submariner
"And in my vision of the 2000's, socialism will have become the norm under a Democrat led Congress and the nation will finally be ready for a Womyn President."
Hillary Rodham practises a speech for grammar school delivery, circa 1956.
Best of Submariner
Woody Allen? Your prom date's here...
Best of Tim
The bordello specialized in amputee call girls.
Best of prince of leaves
"Daddy, that naughty Becky Swinton was teasing me and made me cry. Can I borrow the key to the woodchipper?"
Best of prince of leaves
"I don't think you understand me, Mommy. You buy me the new dress...or all of Smithville finds out about why you've been spending so much time in the barn with the new Clydesdale."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Dad, the Federal Election Commission is on the phone. They want to know about my $2,000 donation to the Clinton campaign. What do I tell them?"
Best of Anonymous, possibly Steve-O
I wish Mommy hadn't taken that thalidomide, but at least I can keep up with Flipper.
20 comments:
"Look ma! Bob The Builder amputated my arm!"
I'm here for today's lesson Miss Hillary...
Steve O
Swiss Miss Instant Death
with marshmallows.
"That's great, Uncle Gadget! Now could you retract the Go-go Gadget penis?"
"And in my vision of the 2000's, socialism will have become the norm under a Democrat led Congress and the nation will finally be ready for a Womyn President."
Hillary Rodham practises a speech for grammar school delivery, circa 1956.
Brightly; "Mommy? The corn's asking for you..."
"...and when I grow up, I plan on over-prescribing Oxycontin to conservative talk-radio hosts, and then leak the protected medical records to their enemies in the Senate."
A Future Democrats of America pledge lists her credentials.
"Well, Groucho, I think the secret word is LAWSUIT and unless I win today's show, ALL networks will hear how you were groping me before we went on air."
Hillary gets her start in the legal profession.
♪I feel pretty, and witty, and gay!♪
John Edwards was never the same after he channeled Agnes...
Woody Allen? Your prom date's here...
The bordello specialized in amputee call girls.
"Okay, Daddy, I took care of the Wilsons' constantly-barking dogs like you asked. But now the garbage disposal is jammed."
"Daddy, that naughty Becky Swinton was teasing me and made me cry. Can I borrow the key to the woodchipper?"
"I don't think you understand me, Mommy. You buy me the new dress...or all of Smithville finds out about why you've been spending so much time in the barn with the new Clydesdale."
With Elizabeth's health deteriorating, John Edwards hires another girl to make his scurrilous campaign attacks for him.
"And now we return to Andrew Sullivan on 'Biography'."
Cindy Brady tells Jan not to worry about 'Marcia, Marcia Marcia.'
"Hey, Senator Edwards, do you remember channeling me when I was a fetus? No? Well, how about telling me what I'm thinking now? Perhaps this knife will, um, sharpen your perception...Bwahahahahahahahahha!"
"Dad, the Federal Election Commission is on the phone. They want to know about my $2,000 donation to the Clinton campaign. What do I tell them?"
I wish Mommy hadn't taken that thalidomide, but at least I can keep up with Flipper.
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