Thursday, October 25, 2007

Love at First Bite


1. "One moment, Senator Clinton was offering to 'Personally thank us for our support.' The next thing I knew, I woke up with fangs and an endless thirst for human blood and higher taxes."

2. One of Riker's milder holodeck fantasies involved a three-way with Counselor Troi and Kaylee Frye.

3. "Women should not take v!4gr4 or handle broken pills, as this can lead to a certain type of vampirism."

4. The smelly pirate hookers stroked the long, hard, black pole... eager for Barack Obama's imminent arrival.

5. "Anal beads and a feather boa? What else did you pick up at John Edwards 21,000 square foot garage sale?"

Best of The Man
Democrats like to use props such as poor little kids who don't have health care. For tax reform they pull out these to show the middle class what they can expect for the next 4 years.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Well yeah, I'll let you do that to me... but NO TEETH!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"No, it's not that you're dead that turns me off to the idea...it's more the whiff of guano from your restroom..."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Shhhh... You had me at 'I vant to suck your'"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Valerie recalls the time she preyed on Senator Kennedy... and subsequently failed the breathalyzer at the checkpoint coming home.

Best of Submariner
Most people would show their conscineces as a little devil and a little angel on opposite shoulders. Shrillary, on the other hand...

Best of Submariner
Wogs on both sides of the aisle were surprised when Hillary Clinton announced that she had put Tim Burton under contract to film all campaign ads for the primaries.

Best of Van Helsing
But then Shrillary woke up, crestfallen that it was only a dream.

Best of sonicfrog
You CAN'T suck blood from a bed post!!! Jeeze, I guess when you become un-dead, you don't become un-blonde.

Best of sonicfrog
Tilda's lookin' a little chubby. That's what happens when you stuff yourself with too much Michael Moore.

33 comments:

Whacko said...

"Want a real cold drink? Try a sip of Hillary's blood."

Whacko said...

The Dew Drop Inn tried featuring vampire pole dancing but customers seemed to drift away right before sundown.

The Man said...

Democrats like to use props such as poor little kids who don't have health care. For tax reform they pull out these to show the middle class what they can expect for the next 4 years.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"SOTG, we offer you 15 minutes of sheer ecstasy... We ask of you in return, your immortal soul..."

"k."

V, loved your caps on this one!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So ladies, explain something to me... If you're undead, technically, doesn't that make you alive?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Well yeah, I'll let you do that to me... but NO TEETH!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"No, it's not that you're dead that turns me off to the idea...it's more the whiff of guano from your restroom..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Shhhh... You had me at 'I vant to suck your'"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Valerie recalls the time she preyed on Senator Kennedy... and subsequently failed the breathalyzer at the checkpoint coming home.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Desperate Salem's Lot Housewives

Son Of The Godfather said...

Velcome to V the K's Dead-Babe Thursday.

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA:
That Barnabas Collins is one lucky dude.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"When you invited me up for a 'night cap', I didn't know you meant ME!"

Submariner said...

SOTG - I was thinking the same thing; seems to be a house of dark shadows...

Son Of The Godfather said...

This is the 70's "pr0n" version by Bram Stroker.

Submariner said...

Most people would show their conscineces as a little devil and a little angel on opposite shoulders. Shrillary, on the other hand...

Submariner said...

♪Devil or angel...♪

Son Of The Godfather said...

Crest discovers its new spokesmodels.

SOTG - I was thinking the same thing; seems to be a house of dark shadows...

Subby, I liked the updated "redo" in the early 90's... Ended too abruptly!:)

Submariner said...

SuccuWHAT?

Submariner said...

Wogs on both sides of the aisle were surprised when Hillary Clinton announced that she had put Tim Burton under contract to film all campaign ads for the primaries.

Submariner said...

Son Of The Godfather said...
Subby, I liked the updated "redo" in the early 90's... Ended too abruptly!:)


Had much better production values and hotter babes, for sure...

Son Of The Godfather said...

These captions are driving me batty.

Also, I had forgotten that 'Werewolf' series from about the same time... It's being shown on that CHLL channel now... Kickin' guitar licks in that series.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Her best years behind her, Valerie was looking a little long in the tooth.

the paperboy said...

This caption bites, sucks AND blows. Time for me to fly.

v-word: fpgnun "flying pig nun"

Van Helsing said...

But then Shrillary woke up, crestfallen that it was only a dream.

prince of leaves said...

In about three hours and ten minutes, Valerie will illustrate why blonde girls don't last very long as vampires.

prince of leaves said...

Vampire twin of the 70's pr0n gigolo a few pics back: "So why don't you two ladies come back to my place? I've got a couple bags of nice warm O+ and a heart-shaped coffin for three..."

Submariner said...

After Data entered Wesley's latest holodeck program and kept hearing "DO us, Wesley, DO us!" he no longer had trouble laughing.

Rachel said...

Valerie recalls the time she preyed on Senator Kennedy... and subsequently failed the breathalyzer at the checkpoint coming home

(cue music) I like New York in June (hic) how about you...

name that movie

sonicfrog said...

You CAN'T suck blood from a bed post!!! Jeeze, I guess when you become un-dead, you don't become un-blonde.

sonicfrog said...

Tilda's lookin' a little chubby. That's what happens when you stuff yourself with too much Michael Moore.

sonicfrog said...

"You're a vampire? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing GREAT with you!!!"

Submariner said...

"That's the bedpost, Jenna; NOT what you're thinking." Rachel had to keep reminding herself that Jenna was also blind as a bat.