2. Her: "The National Enquirer found out about your affair." Him: "Don't worry, Shatner will deny everything."
3. "Liz, your conditioner isn't properly pH balanced, that's why your hair is so limp and lifeless. Either that or the chemo."
4. "You have a kind face..."
5. Once again, CapThis! features hot girl-on-girl action.
6. "Hey, John-boy, why don't you do us both a big favor and channel John "Johnny Wadd" Holmes for once?"
7. "So, John, what's this I hear about you hiring Graeme Frost as your personal pool-boy? Don't we already have, like, six of those."
8. "I think I'll sue you last."
9. "No, it's your turn to wear the strap-on."
10. "When I show you the Queen of Spades, you will kill them. You will kill them all!"
Best of Van Helsing
A moment later he sucked her brains out through her eye socket and was sated for another day.
Best of curly
“Is that one of the ‘Two Americas’ in your pocket, or did Dennis Kucinich just walk into the room?”
Best of Whacko
John found out that a double Vulcan mind-meld worked much better than channelling.
Best of Army of Dad
John shows off his Ferengi side by getting his lobes rubbed.
Best of Zeke
Between the two of them they share one brain, a heart, and a small broken soul.
Best of Zeke
Elizabeth searched frantically for the reboot button after John was faced with another tricky illogical question from the press corp
Best of prince of leaves
"My only regret, John, is that I might not be there for you through the whole campaign, sticking up for you like a little boy's mother and making all the dirty personal attacks that you're too much of a violet to tackle yourself."
Best of Jay Guevara
"Remember, you are not gay! Not gay! Keeping saying it! Fake it until you make it!"
Best of Mr. Right
"Is that... is that hair gel?"