1. "I can't believe they both pulled my finger! Woo-hoo!"
2. "See, now if y'all had passed my immigration plan, I coulda made this guy a citizen just for crossing the border. But, nope, you bigots who don't want what's best for America kept me from making an American out of the spiritual leader of a billion Buddhists. Stupid bigots! Not you, your holiness."
3. Surrounded by a complete void of soul and intellect, the Dalai Lama realized he had finally achieved Nirvana.
4. "... but a three-l lllama is a heckuva fire! Get it! Three l lllama? Three alarm... what the hell is wrong with you people."
5. The lama kept wondering why the strange dessicated zombie-woman kept asking if he had any donations for Hillary.
Best of Army of Dad
Notice that the Dali Lama has the good sense to keep his hand on his wallet when next to a Democrat. Or it could be his heart he is trying to protect.
Best of Jack Reacher
"He just asked what is the controlling legal authority for this meeting. Guy cracks me up!"
Best of mormonbradybunchdad
Now I know what it feels like to the shake hands with the devil!! Kind of tickles!!!
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Mr. President, is there anything you can do to keep Richard Gere the F away from me?"
Best of Submariner
Stop me if you've heard this one - A Llama, a mummy and the President of the US walk into a reception together...
Best of baslim
You have a handful of what? Bearded clam jerky. You really do crack me up, your holiness, but you are one very sick and dangerous individual.
Best of duke of red
"Heh heh. Hey your holiness, Confucious say, Man who back into pantry get ass in jam. Geddit?"
Best of andthenblammo!
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day?? That's whut Ah call philosophy!
Best of attmay
♫ Hello, Dali, well hello, Dali ♫ C'mon, your holiness! You know the words!
Best of prince of leaves
"I'm glad to finally meet'ya, Dali! Man, the times we had back in college, gettin' wasted and staring at your weird paintings for *hours*!"
Best of Rodney Dill
Even though told he would be denied total enlightment, George couldn't resist calling the Dalai Lama, "Pookie," just one more time.
Best of metalgarth
Their plans to form a Rush tribute band were cut short because Nancy didn't have the schnoz to be a convincing Geddy Lee even after 30 or 40 botox sessions, Dalai Lama wasn't about to get drunk and start a fight on New Year's Eve in a bar in Florida and "W" learned all of Frank Beard's drum parts instead of Neal Peart's. "ZZ Top could kick those sissy Canuck's asses any day" he was overheard saying many years later.