Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Duct Tape! Is There Anything It Can't Fix?

Brender


1. Janet Reno now devotes her volunteering time to helping recent immigrants learn moustache waxing.

2. ORA: 'Ow to speak Ellen James Society: "Noobs"

3. The Society of Patriotic Abstinent Lesbians turns out for a Columbus Day parade.

4. "Oh, and how am I supposed to know you're not a chupacabra? Keep the duct tape on and wait in line with the others, missy."

5. With the S-CHIP expansion, these illegal immigrants will be able to afford proper bulimia treatment.

Best of The Man
President Hillary inspects the crop of new interns for Bill

Best of Double the U
Hey, I wanted them to learn to speak English, but this is much better.

Best of curly
Duct tape – the other gag.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
SOTG imagines a time when we can tolerate our lefty friends from across the aisle.

Best of Zeke
Proper PC debate form.

Best of Jack Reacher
The Ramirez sisters' troubles were nearly solved. Now if they could just narrow their stance in the restrooms...

Best of Jack Reacher
IM IN UR KUNTRY, BYING CHINEEZ DUKT TAPE.

Best of Army of Mom
Producers finally found the way to make J Lo's next movie more appealing.

Best of Army of Mom
'Ow to speak Australian: happy marriage.

Best of Army of Dad
Women who can't vote and don't talk...just like the good old days.

29 comments:

Van Helsing said...

It was the only way organizers could keep the protestors from spitting on their flag props.

AJ said...

Duct Tape: Helping rednecks shut their wives up since 1953.

AJ said...

Don't ask what the other piece of tape was keeping closed.

The Man said...

Is going orange-face to a Columbus day protest racist?

The Man said...

Mexican hookers on a work-stoppage to protest lack of union protection?

The Man said...

President Hillary inspects the crop of new interns for Bill

Double the U said...

Hey, I wanted them to learn to speak English, but this is much better.

curly said...

Duct tape – the other gag.

curly said...

The four sisters were any young man’s dream: extremely quiet, overly patriotic, and their wealthy father owned a chain of liquor stores.

curly said...

Failing to find any Americans willing to do so, the task of ‘see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil’ fell to illegal immigrants.

Son Of The Godfather said...

SOTG imagines a time when we can tolerate our lefty friends from across the aisle.

Hope you're feeling better, Trixie!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Submariner's prom dates take logical steps to preserve their chastity.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey, you on the right... Guess what you'd sound like on a date with me?..."
"MMMMF!... MMMFFF!.... MMMMFFF!"
"You got it!"

curly said...

Gradates of the ‘Oral Fixation 101 – Stick Anything In My Mouth And I’ll Suck It’ class celebrate graduation, delighting the makers of Duct Tape and pissing off their boyfriends.

curly said...

Next on Oprah: “Duct tape burkas, the early years.”

Zeke said...

Proper PC debate form.

Zeke said...

Unfortunately do to the high ratio of brunettes only 20% of the protesters also taped over their nostrils at the same time.

Jack Reacher said...

The Ramirez sisters' troubles were nearly solved. Now if they could just narrow their stance in the restrooms...

Jack Reacher said...

IM IN UR KUNTRY, BYING CHINEEZ DUKT TAPE.

Jack Reacher said...

The Edwards campaign issued a statement after the rally, bemoaning "Split ends, lack of shine, body, and bounce. Oh, the humanity!"

curly said...

Although the courts ruled that the Tinman’s bukkake shots were not technically obscene, they were nonetheless considered to be in poor taste.

curly said...

The immigration position of the Pelosi Congress could best be labeled “Don’t ask – Don’t tell”.

wacha said...

-"Lola, ¿por qué estamos haciendo esta pavada?"

-"Para que America legalice nuestra situación"

-"¿Qué, pero es que no estamos en México?!"

Anonymous said...

Doing the work Americans aren't willing to do...

Army of Mom said...

Producers found the way to make J Lo's next movie more appealing.

Army of Mom said...

The duct tape company's latest ad campaign shows one of the many uses for their products.

Army of Mom said...

'Ow to speak Australian: happy marriage.

Army of Mom said...

Instead of a string tied around their fingers, these Latinas try to remind themselves NOT to blow the guys at the day labor site.

Army of Dad said...

Women who can't vote and don't talk...just like the good old days.