Friday, October 12, 2007

Careful, It's Gaining on You

Divine Miss M


1. Not satisfied with defeating S-CHIP, Dick Cheney also likes to run down retarded children in his Satanic Subaru of Death.

2. Why you should never let NARAL sponsor your NASCAR Team.

3. "All I said was Ron Paul is a little kooky!"

4. Britney hit the accelerator. "Rat on me to Child Protective Services will you!" she said through a mouthful of curly fries.

5. This is exactly the sort of childhood trauma that can result in a kid becoming a cross-dressing Maple Leafs fan.

Best of metalgarth
Hollywood doesn't seem to grasp that nobody is going to pay $8.00 for a Forest Gump - Running Man crossover.

Best of The Man
Al Gore used his Nobel prize money for some Stage3 upgrades on his off road retard killing machine.

Best of AJ
The new event in the 2008 Special Olympics: Population Control.

Best of curly
It no longer takes a village, thanks to the all new 2007 Subaru Impreza WRX STI with the optional 293-hp 2.5-liter DOHC intercooled, turbocharged Boxer engine.

Best of Gregory
Too young to understand sarcasm, Tommy did what he was told when his father told him to "go play in traffic".

Best of ThatGayConservative
♫"And if the Subaru tries to run you down, go crazy. Whoo!"♪

Best of Army of Dad
The Super Adventure Club recently got into offroad rallies.

Best of Army of Mom
'Ow to speak Australian: speed bump.

Best of attmay
It was at this moment that Chris Burke decided to give up his athletic career and concentrate on acting.

Best of Submariner
'Ow to Speak Awstraylian; Tag

Best of sonicfrog
As his parents said when Billy won the 5 Mile Dash in the Special Olympics, it was all about finding the right motivation during the training.


45 comments:

Double the U said...

America could afford some of Hillary's ideas. After the government took over health care she needed to eliminate those extra pesky costs such as those costs of the elderly and special needs people. Some of those costs were covered with proceeds from modern day gladiator type of entertainment.

metalgarth said...

Hollywood doesn't seem to grasp that nobody is going to pay $8.00 for a Forest Gump - Running Man crossover.

Anonymous said...

Hood oranament in the making

curly said...

NASCAR jihadists on the prowl.

curly said...

January 2009: In order to drive the hotrod under the new carbon offset rules enacted by President Kucinich, Dad either had to pay $5000 or off Junior.

The Man said...

In the end, in a race between a retard and a Subaru, is there a real winner?

The Man said...

Al Gore used his Nobel prize money for some Stage3 upgrades on his off road retard killing machine.

The Man said...

Sony finds a way to make Gran Tourismo 8 more appealing to the youth market.

Rodney Dill said...

Run, Kucinich, Run!

AJ said...

What slow children sign?

AJ said...

Testing out the "Retard Strength" myth.

AJ said...

To make a point, the Democrats hold a rally to show why children need health care.

AJ said...

To receive a 5 star safety rating for their autos, foreign car companies undergo a different series of tests.

AJ said...

The new event in the 2008 Special Olympics: Population Control.

curly said...

ICE finally gets serious about border jumpers.

curly said...

In an obvious display of pandering, Obama ups the ante by redefining late term abortion as ‘pre-teen and by any means necessary’.

curly said...

It no longer takes a village, thanks to the all new 2007 Subaru Impreza WRX STI with the optional 293-hp 2.5-liter DOHC intercooled, turbocharged Boxer engine.

curly said...

“One helicopter away from greatness my ass!” mumbled the homicidal ex-President.

ThatGayConservative said...

Sully wasn't kidding when he said he never wanted to hear "RawMuscleGlutes" again.

Gregory said...

Too young to understand sarcasm, Tommy did what he was told when his father told him to "go play in traffic".

ThatGayConservative said...

♫"And if the Subaru tries to run you down, go crazy. Whoo!"♪

Army of Dad said...

Run Kenny, it's NAMBLA!!!

Army of Dad said...

The Super Adventure Club recently got into offroad rallies.

(Super Adventure club reference is from South Park)

word verification: quarr

Army of Mom said...

Tommy's mom took training for the Special Olympics way too seriously. Run faster, Tommy, or mommy is going to run you over!

Army of Mom said...

'Ow to speak Australian: speed bump.

attmay said...

It was at this moment that Chris Burke decided to give up his athletic career and concentrate on acting.

Army of Mom said...

That's the last time you ring and run at my house, Timmy!

Army of Mom said...

Finally free of his contractual obligations, Lightning McQueen sheds his stickers and runs free in the fields with little Timmy.

ThatGayConservative said...

The original version of Metallica's Enter Sandman video was deemed inappropriate and yet, not brutal enough.

Submariner said...

Quentin Tarantino announced today that he would remake "Logan's Run." Release is scheduled for the Easter break.

Submariner said...

'Ow to Speak Awstraylian;
Tag

Kaptain said...

The Dead Milkmen decide to do an update to their classic song, "Bitchin' Camaro". The resulting video lands them in a whole heap of controversy.

divine miss m said...

As soon as the Suburban Trunk Monkey debuted, Subaru knew its Subaru Trunk Tard was doomed.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Failed Ad Campaigns # 361 -

"Come watch the 'World Road Rally Championships' at IMAX 3D;
Action so real you'll run from your seat screaming like a 'tard!"

Submariner said...

Ultra-right-wing vision of forced bussing.

Ultra-left-wing vision of voluntary prayer in school.

Submariner said...

What happens when Rosie sits in your passenger seat...

Whacko said...

At the Special Olympics, Tommy turns in an exceptional time in the Subaru Carrying contest and gets a warm round of applause from the crowd.

sonicfrog said...

As his parents said when Billy won the 5 Mile Dash in the Special Olympics, it was all about finding the right motivation during the training.

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sonicfrog said...

See Billy, this is what happens when you tell one of the guys from the Ultimate Subaru Club that Subaru's suck!!!

sonicfrog said...

PS. I'm one of those guys in the club, so, everyone, take note!

sonicfrog said...

So children are worth, what, 30 points?

Submariner said...

"Sure I'd work with Timmy, but his dad's a bit over-competitive with that Subaru training, don't you think?"
Officials always found it difficult to get Timmy a hugger at the Special Olympics...

Anonymous said...

Mom! Look what followed me home. Can I keep it!