1. "Billy's been touching himself, daddy. Can I cut his hands off?"
2. "How cute! Little Ali is only four years old and already can't wait to honor-kill his sister for text messaging a kuffir."
3. "Um, Honey? How much did you like that cat, anyway?"
4. "He's been brainwashed to lop off exposed nads. Let's take him to the Folsom Street Fair.
5. "O.K. Fine. The next time Gage gets hit by a tanker truck, I won't bury him in the Pet Cemetery."
Best of Kaptain
"No, I didn't get him "an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and 'this thing' which tells time." He would put his eye out. This is just as good.
Best of The Man
Show Jimmy what we do to people who turn 18 here in the corn field.
Best of Van Helsing
"Little Suzie won't give you a kiss? Take this and ask her again."
Best of the paperboy
He's only two, but he can already carve an exact likeness of Nancy Pelosi out of a fermented apple using nothing but a hatchet. Watch...
Best of Jack Reacher
A telling glimpse at Billy Bob Thornton's childhood.
Best of Silhouette
There's nothing quite like the Ed Ames - Johnny Carson home game.
Best of Submariner
"here kitty, kitty, kitty..."
Best of prince of leaves
"Pass the bill or I'll chop off your kneecaps!" Stung by the mawkish hypocrisy of the Graeme Frost debacle, House Democrats roll out a slightly more, er, "persuasive" poster child for S-CHIP.
Best of GOP & College
Little John was trained like a hawk to attack if some one successfully performed the goat.
Best of Rodney Dill
"LEEEEROYYY JENKINSSS!!!
Best of Army of Mom
ANF- acronym for: Annoying Numnuts Father
1892 - Number of DUI's
37 comments:
"Sure I sharpened his axe for him, Honey. What could possibly go wrong?"
"No, I didn't get him "an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and 'this thing' which tells time." He would put his eye out. This is just as good.
A rare early photo of Michael Myers.
Show Jimmy what we do to people who turn 18 here in the corn field.
Brittany Spears responded "but Preston never killed anyone with the axe"
"Little Suzie won't give you a kiss? Take this and ask her again."
He's only two, but he can already carve an exact likeness of Nancy Pelosi out of a fermented apple using nothing but a hatchet. Watch...
Always spay and neuter your pets. Billy will demonstrate.
Thats my little axe-man!
Billy, here's your chores for today:
1. UAW benefits
2. congressional budget
3. military funding
4. troop levels in Iraq
5. your dad's hair
do NOT cut:
1. the cheese
2. the cherry tree
3. your own hair
♪ O Whacking Day, O Whacking Day ♪
Ironically, the punishment for "whacking off" is, well, getting it whacked off.
On the other hand, treatment for STDs under HillaryCare is slow and painful.
So that's what happened to the rest of dad's pant legs.
A rare glimpse at Billy Bob Thornton's childhood.
There's nothing quite like the Ed Ames - Johnny Carson home game.
Axe's of evil.
"here kitty, kitty, kitty..."
Literary ORA;
Little David Dukes play "Merchant of Venice."
Little Joe-Bob was really ticked when his tricycle threw him; REALLY ticked...
While it seemed funny at the time, Lyle Borden would later regret giving young Lester an axe to play with.
"Pass the bill or I'll chop off your kneecaps!" Stung by the mawkish hypocrisy of the Graeme Frost debacle, House Democrats roll out a slightly more, er, "persuasive" poster child for S-CHIP.
Little John was trained like a hawk to attack if some one successfully performed the goat.
"Hey Max, let's go play with your silver hammer instead."
"What's this axe wound the hedgehogs were singing about?"
"LEEEEROYYY JENKINSSS!!!
Kindling; need more kindling...
The inspiration for Family Guy's Stewie.
Make me eat broccoli again, bitch, I dare you.
Looky here at little Billy's Halloween costume: a young George Washington. 'cept he keeps trying to chop down that thar cherry tree.
Isn't that cute? He wants to play Cowboys and Indians. He's the Indian, who wants to be the cowboy?
Honey, little Bubba is coming your way. He said something about taking care of whoever let me wear these pants. Not sure what he means.
*ironic word verification: ax uffj
Where are those damn PC people who won't let ma boy dew a tomahawk chop at the Braves game?
Bubba, you know better than to run with scissors. Here's an ax instead. Have fun, son.
'Ow to speak redneck: Christmas gift.
His Indian name: runs with ax.
ANF- acronym for:
Annoying Numnuts Father
1892 - stands for number of times he's been in the slammer
Maybe that should've been:
"Wee Roy Jenkins!"
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