Thursday, September 27, 2007

There's Just Something Fisher-Pricey About Mary

Right Wing Conspirator

1. Sometimes, a flannel shirt just isn't "bull" enough.

2. "Hey, you'll put somebody's eye out!"

3. That's hammer's nothin' You should see the size of *my* tool.

4. Ann Coulter's fetish was sweaty road crew men, and she knew just how to get their attention.

5. Bob Vila directs his first p0rn shoot.


Best of The Man
The Bob the Builder sex ed episode soon became the web's second most downloaded video... after Chris Crocker's 'Leave Bob the Builder Alone' video.

Best of Jonathan
"Smelly Construction Wench" just doesn't roll off the tongue like "Smelly Pirate Hooker".

Best of Submariner
"I'll take 'Tim Taylor's Wet Dreams' for 800, Alex."

Best of Army of Mom
Spike's newest show, Bobbi the Builder, was a ratings hit among the male 18-(oh hell, till they're dead) demographic.

Best of Army of Dad
This carpet is easy to lay, you just have to get it hammered.

Best of Submariner
If Madonna had gone into the contracting business...

Best of prince of leaves
The "Big Boys' Erector Set" is going to be a huge hit this Christmas, just you watch.

Best of curly
"Ever since her botched boob job last month, Pam’s body language has been screaming ‘don’t touch my breasts’."

Best of metalgarth
and once Mr. Maplethorpe told her what to do with the hammer, he found himself without a model

Best of jbinnout
Bobbi's building motto:
"I'll nail or lay anything"

38 comments:

The Man said...

The Bob the Builder sex ed episode soon became the web's second most downloaded video.

The Man said...

President Hillary unveiled her choice to head The Department of Housing &
Urban Development

The Man said...

Hillary staffer #1: Why is she here, dressed like that?
Hillary staffer #2: Hilldog hired her to build the website.

Jonathan said...

"Smelly Construction Wench" just doesn't roll off the tongue like "Smelly Pirate Hooker".

Submariner said...

Dilbert casually looked up. Next thing he knew, his tie stiffened...

Submariner said...

"I'll take 'Tim Taylor's Wet Dreams' for 800, Alex."

Army of Mom said...

Spike's newest show, Bobbi the Builder, was a ratings hit among the male 18-(oh hell, till they're dead) demographic.

Army of Mom said...

Between the oversized screwdriver and the tape measure, I'd say Bobbi has some high standards.

Army of Mom said...

Please Hammer, don't hurt me.

*80s reference for you young'uns*

Army of Mom said...

Army of Dad, quit blowing up the picture to look down the cone.

You too, SOTG. :)

Army of Mom said...

Shelly was excited that her husband finally wanted to help remodel the kitchen until she saw the contractor.

Army of Mom said...

The day labor site was never quite the same after Bobbi arrived.

Army of Mom said...

Who wants to get nailed?

Army of Dad said...

This carpet is easy to lay, you just have to get it hammered.

Army of Dad said...

Gallant is relived that Ms. Fix it has finally arrived while Goofus hopes that this one will show her crack too.

Army of Dad said...

I think I have the right tool for this job!

Submariner said...

If Madonna had gone into the construction business instead...

Submariner said...

I wonder if she'd give me a hand laying some pipe?

Submariner said...

If the Vogons had used a crew that looked like this, Arthur wouldn't have minded the new hyperspace bypass going through his property.

Submariner said...

Singing Telegram deliverer Bobbi hit on a way to triple her tips. She simply started by saying "I hear you need a hand getting an erection up in your back yard..."

Double The U said...

Stay away guys, any girl that needs traffic cones and a screw driver that big has seen better days.

prince of leaves said...

The "Big Boys' Erector Set" is going to be a huge hit this Christmas, just you watch.

prince of leaves said...

Slow for the cone zone.

prince of leaves said...

"Naughty, naughty VtK -- speeding through the construction zone will get your punishment doubled!"

curly said...

“Ever since her botched boob job last month, Pam’s body language has been screaming ‘don’t touch my breasts’.”

curly said...

At Curly’s Breast Augmentation Clinic, we guarantee that you’ll go home with firmer boobs in less then twenty minutes, or you get your entire $100 back.

curly said...

Pam’s idea of ‘six inches’ was noticeably different than that of the average male.

curly said...

♫ These boots were made for Tonka ♪

curly said...

“Hillary’s new ‘jobs program’? No. I’m here to see Bill.”

curly said...

For all you straight guys out there: This is what Sully sees when he looks at a typical male construction worker.

sonicfrog said...

Hey, I ain't touchin' her. She's probably made in China and chalk full of lead!

Kaptain said...

Jonathan said...

"Smelly Construction Wench" just doesn't roll off the tongue like "Smelly Pirate Hooker".

You must not be doing it right, then.
(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Please, Hammer, do hurt me! Do! Do! DO!

Rodney Dill said...

"How much? $220, $211, whatever it takes."

Rodney Dill said...

"How much? $220, $221, whatever it takes."

Submariner said...

Sen. Clinton? The "agency" sent me over to clean your pipes...

metalgarth said...

and once Mr. Maplethorpe told her what to do with the hammer, he found himself without a model

Army of Mom said...

Bobbi's new routine at the strip club was a big hit with the construction crowd, but gave dads of preschoolers a limp noodle.

jbinnout said...

Bobbi's building motto:
"I'll nail or lay anything"