Monday, September 24, 2007

Marcia! Marcia! Ohgawd! Marcia! Yes! Yes!

Also SondraK

1. "Gee, Marcia. I didn't expect to run into you at the Hillary08 rally."

2. "Well, you can whore yourself to patriarchy with your lipstick and pink sweaters if you want to, but real dykes wear flannel!"

3. Woody Allen was about to proposition Jan and Marcia for a three-way, but then he realized he wasn't related to them.

4. "Yeah, Marcia, I know he'd have us both stoned to death in a minute, but dammit, Ahmadinejad is just so darned cute."

5. "O.K., you can write about our lesbian tryst in your memoir, but *I* call dibs on exposing what Robert Reed did to Tiger."

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Jan, Dad's gonna kill you when that doubleheader falls out of the tube instead of his plans."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Jan, we have to do something about Cindy's tattling... She just told Alice about us, your stash, and the black mambo I keep under my mattress!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"I was explaining our... 'encounter' to the editor, but he suddenly rushed out of the room after telling me 'something suddenly came up'."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"I met him online... He says he's totally into 3-ways and will do 'unspeakable' things to us... I just can't wait to meet this 'Johnny Bravo' guy!"

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Jan, are you feeling OK? I only ask because someone standing behind me is taking your pulse."

Best of GregMan
...and the Internet makes yet another teenage sex fantasy of once-horny baby-boomers come true.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Yes, I wear comfortable shoes, and I'm voting for Hillary. What's so funny?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"Doin' good, girlfriend. Just leak a few more tidbits from that book of yours, and we can maybe swing a Thursday Babe slot. Well, I mean, not in these clothes, of course."

Best of Double The U
Marcia, I want to tell you the story, the story of a love-lee lady. You see she had three girls, and they all lived together, do you understand what I am talking about Marcia?

Best of Capt. Queeg
"What is it, Jan?"
"It's that Lileks guy again. He keeps staring at me."

Best of Submariner
Refreshing to have a cap-able back story about a couple of bitchy queens and NOT be referring to Sir Elton and Sully...

Best of Submariner
♪ You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant.♫

Best of Submariner
Sen Clinton, your prom dates are here...


26 comments:

Capt. Queeg said...

"Jan, Dad's gonna kill you when that doubleheader falls out of the tube instead of his plans."

Son Of The Godfather said...

And now we all know why Marcia was the popular one.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Jan, we have to do something about Cindy's tattling... She just told Alice about us, your stash, and the black mambo I keep under my mattress!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I was explaining our... 'encounter' to the editor, but he suddenly rushed out of the room after telling me 'something suddenly came up'."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Relax, Jan. Greg and Bobby were doing it too. Right up until mom told them not to play ball in the house."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I met him online... He says he's totally into 3-ways and will do 'unspeakable' things to us... I just can't wait to meet this 'Johnny Bravo' guy!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Maureen?... Eve?... Which of you did cousin Oliver knock up?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'm telling you, Marcia, I saw Alice pee standing up!"

Capt. Queeg said...

"Jan, are you feeling OK? I only ask because someone standing behind me is taking your pulse."

GregMan said...

"Oh Hillary, Hillary, yes, YES... oh, it's only you, Jan."

GregMan said...

...and the Internet makes yet another teenage sex fantasy of once-horny baby-boomers come true.

GregMan said...

Silky Pony said, "Girlfriend, plaid pants are SO last year!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Yes, I wear comfortable shoes, and I'm voting for Hillary. What's so funny?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Doin' good, girlfriend. Just leak a few more tidbits from that book of yours, and we can maybe swing a Thursday Babe slot. Well, I mean, not in these clothes, of course."

Jack Reacher said...

Cousin Oliver now lives in a mansion by the shore in Antigua, thanks to his family snapshot collection that suddenly became worth millions.

Double The U said...

Marcia, I want to tell you the story, the story of a love-lee lady. You see she had three girls, and they all lived together, do you understand what I am talking about Marcia?

Capt. Queeg said...

"What is it, Jan?"
"It's that Lileks guy again. He keeps staring at me."

Submariner said...

Kinda gives new meaning to "Mom always liked you best!" Doesn't it? I'm just sayin'...

Submariner said...

Refreshing to have a cap-able back story about a couple of bitchy queens and NOT be referring to Sir Elton and Sully...

Submariner said...

Mo-o-om, Marcia ate all the Brownies again!

Submariner said...

I can't help but think of "Alice" whenever I see Sen. Clinton, Maureen. Know what I mean?

curly said...

Democrat rally -- pajama party: both mean it’s ‘lights out’ and you’re sleepy.

curly said...

“Do you realize how many of Ahmadinejad’s jackets had to die to make that outfit?”

curly said...

♫ All the young girls love Alice, tender young Alice they say. ♪

Submariner said...

♪ You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant.♫

Submariner said...

Sen Clinton, your prom dates are here...