Friday, September 14, 2007

And Now, A Duck with a Microphone


1. "... And Brian Willsie snags the puck from Mike Hoffman. He shoots! He scores!"

2. A retarded duck substitutes for Diane Riehm. NPR listeners fail to notice any difference.

3. "AFLAC! AFLAC!" By the time the audience realized it was not part of his stand up routine, Ducky had already choked to death.

4. Unfortunately, Ducky had chosen the stall next to Cyborg Larry Craig.

5. "Well, Anderson, me and the wife began piling up the sandbags as soon as the hurricane warnings came out, so we feel pretty safe."



Best of The Man
I could not find a bunny with a pancake on it's head, so here is a duck with a mic.

Best of Capt. Queeg
Donald delivers the Democratic response to President Bush's address to the nation: "Quackmire! Quackmire!"

Best of Dwight's Writing Manifesto
While Waddle's garbled lip synch of of "Johnny B. Goode" was a big draw at Jack Hanna's Adventureland, the crowd became especially enthusiastic when he did the Chuckberry Walk.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Yes this is all C4, ALLAHU AFLAC-BAR!"

Best of Jack Reacher
"Anyone here from out of town? Yes, sir, where were you hatched?"

Best of Kevin Walker
Suddenly, Waddles flashed back to the night he first met Sully's beagle.

Best of metalgarth
The New York Jets pioneer a new technology to call plays in to the quarterback that will confound the New England Patriots for decades

Best of divine miss m
ORA: Suddenly, the duck realized he had come to the seminar without Professor Liebowitz.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"First we're going to Chicago! Then we're going to Tenessee! Then California, and Texas... YEEEEEARGHHHH!" - Howard the Duck

Best of Brian_in_MA
Little did they know that Hypnoduck was part of the Penguin's scheme to take over Gotham once and for all...

28 comments:

The Man said...

I could not find a bunny with a pancake on it's head, so here is a duck with a mic.

The Man said...

Chocolate Rain
Some stay dry and others feel the pain
Chocolate Rain
A chick born will die before the sin

Capt. Queeg said...

Donald delivers the Democratic response to President Bush's address to the nation: "Quackmire! Quackmire!"

curly said...

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, Harry Reid would call it a horse.

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

While Waddle's garbled lip synch of of "Johnny B. Goode" was a big draw at Jack Hanna's Adventureland, the crowd became especially enthusiastic when he did the Chuckberry Walk.

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

Hey. No kidding. It's even worse than people said. Brittney really DID let herself go, didn't she?

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes this is all C4, ALLAHU AFLAC-BAR!"

jeff said...

"Moooon river....wider than a mile..."

"I like big butts and I cannot lie..."

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

BLATANT SPAM: If anybody is interested, I'm running a mini cap contest over at my blog today.

Rodney, you should be knighted for that one.

Jack Reacher said...

"Anyone here from out of town? Yes, sir, where were you hatched?"

Jack Reacher said...

Ducky never understood why his joke "I just flew in from Vegas, and boy are my arms tired" always fell flat.

Jack Reacher said...

"Was the senator alone when he climbed out of the water at Chappaquiddick?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact..."
Ducky's testimony was cut short by a well-placed round of birdshot.

Jonathan said...

The mayor-elect of Enumclaw addresses his supporters.

Kevin Walker said...

Gavin Newson, reincarnated as a duck.

Suddenly, Waddles flashed back to the night he first met Sully's beagle.

metalgarth said...

The New York Jets pioneer a new technology to call plays in to the quarterback that will confound the New England Patriots for decades

divine miss m said...

ORA:

Suddenly, the duck realized he had come to the seminar without Professor Liebowitz.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The drug bust went a little fowl...

Rodney Dill said...
"Yes this is all C4, ALLAHU AFLAC-BAR!"
Nice.

Capt. Queeg said...
Donald delivers the Democratic response to President Bush's address to the nation: "Quackmire! Quackmire!"
Very nice indeed.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"First we're going to Chicago! Then we're going to Tenessee! Then California, and Texas... YEEEEEARGHHHH!" - Howard the Duck

Son Of The Godfather said...

"OJ tried to nab all the memorabilia from me, but I pecked him in the nuts and told him to go duck himself."

Chrees said...

Jon Cryer crawled inside his most famous role, never able to find a suitable follow-up to Pretty in Pink

curly said...

“I’ve got two words for you, and it ain’t ‘duck stew’.”

curly said...

After hearing of the ‘Vagina Monologues’, Sully’s search for a somewhat similar ‘Talking Pecker’ proved futile.

curly said...

Figuring nothing can hurt Air America’s status a bankrupt lib talk radio program, management tries hosting by someone who can actually fly.

curly said...

“The Most Reverent High Priestess Hilldog inadvertently conjured me up. When her detractors said ‘Hsu’, she would say ‘duck’. When they said ‘NYT’s MoveOn.Org ad’, she said ‘duck’. “Whitewater’; ‘duck’. ‘Interns’; ‘duck’. Et cetera.”

curly said...

Al Franken really let himself go.

Brian_in_MA said...

Little did they know that Hypnoduck was part of the Penguin's scheme to take over Gotham once and for all...

Anonymous said...

In announcing my candidacy for president, let me make one thing perfectly clear...Dick Cheney will not be my running mate!

Barrrrrak! Barrrrak Obama! Barrack Osama! Barrrrak! Barrrrak! I mean Quack. Quack, quack!

Democrat spokesperson Daphine R. Duk(see bio in Field and Stream) tries to spin Hillarious spin on fundraising scandals, while the MSM replayed AFLAC commercials.

prince of leaves said...

Not to be outdone by Leona Helmsley, Donald Trump introduces his new heir to the press.