1. "... And Brian Willsie snags the puck from Mike Hoffman. He shoots! He scores!"
2. A retarded duck substitutes for Diane Riehm. NPR listeners fail to notice any difference.
3. "AFLAC! AFLAC!" By the time the audience realized it was not part of his stand up routine, Ducky had already choked to death.
4. Unfortunately, Ducky had chosen the stall next to Cyborg Larry Craig.
5. "Well, Anderson, me and the wife began piling up the sandbags as soon as the hurricane warnings came out, so we feel pretty safe."
Best of The Man
I could not find a bunny with a pancake on it's head, so here is a duck with a mic.
Best of Capt. Queeg
Donald delivers the Democratic response to President Bush's address to the nation: "Quackmire! Quackmire!"
Best of Dwight's Writing Manifesto
While Waddle's garbled lip synch of of "Johnny B. Goode" was a big draw at Jack Hanna's Adventureland, the crowd became especially enthusiastic when he did the Chuckberry Walk.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Yes this is all C4, ALLAHU AFLAC-BAR!"
Best of Jack Reacher
"Anyone here from out of town? Yes, sir, where were you hatched?"
Best of Kevin Walker
Suddenly, Waddles flashed back to the night he first met Sully's beagle.
Best of metalgarth
The New York Jets pioneer a new technology to call plays in to the quarterback that will confound the New England Patriots for decades
Best of divine miss m
ORA: Suddenly, the duck realized he had come to the seminar without Professor Liebowitz.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"First we're going to Chicago! Then we're going to Tenessee! Then California, and Texas... YEEEEEARGHHHH!" - Howard the Duck
Best of Brian_in_MA
Little did they know that Hypnoduck was part of the Penguin's scheme to take over Gotham once and for all...