Monday, August 13, 2007

Who's a Sex Machine to all the chicks? Rove! Damn Right!


1. "Tell Romney I'll take a pound of the peanut butter, a half pound of chocolate with walnuts, and a half-dozen 'I pack fudge better than Edwards' captions."

2. "Sheehan's running against Pelosi? Excellent. Next, activate the chip in Michael Moore's skull so he'll think he's a giant penguin."

3. "How many Tijuana whores did Cheney kill this time?"

4. "DC 101 FM Rocks! Do I win the Slipknot tickets?"

5. "What? The battle station at Endor is not fully operational? Shall I send Lord Vader to oversee the work personally?"

Best of Submariner
Tin foil hats at Yearly KOS? No problem; increase output frequency by 1.37 megahertz and change the phase flux by 13.628 degrees right ascention... then send the message "Dance like chickens with their heads cut off." Makes me laugh every time...

Best of The Man
Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.

Best of metalgarth
Press 1 if you know the name of the moonbat you'd like liquidated.
Press 2 if you'd like to pick the name of the moonbat from a list
Press 3 if you'd like a hurricane to hit New Orleans...

Best of metalgarth
What! I told that damn apprentice of mine to quit trying to pick up Japanese schoolgirls.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Remember, young George... The Rove will always be with you."

Best of Van Helsing
"Believe me I got out of that fudge shop fast. You should have seen the look on his face as he slipped on the glove…"

Best of Jack Reacher
"Make sure he gets the message: The Thursday Babe shows breasts. Or else!"

Best of Dwight's Writing Manifesto
And as he watched Karl Rove disappear into the crowd, Bob Novak suddenly became very nervous about the possibility that his liver might taste really good with fava beans and a nice chianti.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Oh hell. What is it this time, dead girl or live boy?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Yes Mom, I have my toothbrush."

23 comments:

Submariner said...

Hello, Travelocity? I booked first class but W. stuck me in back with the press...

Submariner said...

Tin foil hats at Yearly KOS? No problem; increase output frequency by 1.37 megahertz and change the phase flux by 13.628 degrees right ascention... then send the message "Dance like chickens with their heads cut off." Makes me laugh every time...

The Man said...

Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.

The Man said...

Hello? Ron Paul campaign? You hiring?

metalgarth said...

Press 1 if you know the name of the moonbat you'd like liquidated.
Press 2 if you'd like to pick the name of the moonbat from a list
Press 3 if you'd like a hurricane to hit New Orleans...

metalgarth said...

What! I told that damn apprentice of mine to quit trying to pick up Japanese schoolgirls.

Rodney Dill said...

"Please stop calling me and breathing heavy Mr. President."

Anonymous said...

"This is Karl. Idea to eliminate damning memos: edible paper. You see, you eat it, it's gone. Eat it, it's out of there!" Lyn from Bloggin' Outloud

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Remember, young George... The Rove will always be with you."

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA:
"What do you mean 'and miles to go before I sleep'?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sure, the moonbats all cheered when Karl left the fold... That was, of course, until he announced that it was to give him time to form an exploratory committee for his run for the presidency.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Where's Pinky?

Jack Reacher said...

"No I don't have Prince Albert in a can, but if you don't stop calling this number, he's going straight to Gitmo."

Jack Reacher said...

"Tell Gore I'm gonna stop at the john and drop off some carbon offsets, then I'll take his call."

Jack Reacher said...

"Hey, Fitzgerald? Yeah, Rove here. Listen, can I get videotapes of my grand jury testimony? Better still, can you put it on DVD? We're having a party, and...Fitzgerald? Why are you crying?"

Van Helsing said...

"Believe me I got out of that fudge shop fast. You should have seen the look on his face as he slipped on the glove…"

Rodney Dill said...

'Yes I know my fly is down, and yes I like it that way.'

Jack Reacher said...

"Make sure he gets the message: The Thursday Babe shows breasts. Or else!"

Jay Guevara said...

"...yep, hook, line, and sinker. Give Scott Beauchamp a big 'attaboy' for me. Great job!"

"No, no, help the Democrats buy more TV exposure. Trust me - I know what I'm doing."

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

And as he watched Karl Rove disappear into the crowd, Bob Novak suddenly became very nervous about the possibility that his liver might taste really good with fava beans and a nice chianti.

Rodney Dill said...

"...and under no circumstances leave him alone with pretzels."

Jay Guevara said...

"Oh hell. What is it this time, dead girl or live boy?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes Mom, I have my toothbrush."