Friday, August 17, 2007

Warning, May Cause Blindness or Teh Ghey



1. "The bubbles stopped five minutes ago. How much longer are you going to keep that foot on Elizabeth Hasselback's head?"

2. "FEMA still wants you to hold off on diving in until they can post tsunami warnings."

3. If Free Willy mated with Ted Kennedy ...

4. "See? I told you the bow would split apart if you put your fat a$$ on the stern."

5. "Hey, Rosio, I know you're bummed about the Jenna Bush engagement, but c'mon... did you really think you had a chance with her?"

Best of Submariner
After swallowing, Orca swam back to the boat and hacked up a Rosie on the stern...

Best of Submariner
A split second later, the pleasure craft took the same aspect as the Titanic late in the movie and slipped into the lake, stern down.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
I hope Pinnocchio escapes from in there.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"How they hangin', old chum?"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
That's pretty sweet of Rosie, blocking her child from the harmful influence of the sun.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Has Disney modified the Jungle Book ride so the attacking hippo actually jumps onto the boat?

Best of metalgarth
Jabba the Hut and one of his slave girls take a trip to Waterworld in yet another ill conceived sci-fi crossover.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Let's go, kid. Make sure you dump the spare cinder blocks overboard. I guess Mr. Bob Barker discovered there's a downside to f***ing with me."

Best of Anonymous
...and when the stars were right, Great Cthulhu rose from the depths of sunken R'lyeh. He then took one look at Rosie and swam the hell back to the ocean floor.

Best of duke of red
Wow, Lesbian with wet T-shirt actually fits, but it's soooo misleading.

Best of captainobvious
OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Hey mom, that's weird... I've never seen sharks actually swim away before..."

Best of David Simon
"I don't understand, mommy. If you can't swim, why did you keep telling Ms. Electra that you wanted to go for a dive?"

Best of curly
“OK sweetie; I’ll lift my shirt and you scrape the barnacles off my back.”

Best of curly
“Wow Mommy! That last queef split the boat in half!”

Best of Double the U
Wow Mommy (or are you Daddy) it is funny how all the fish die when you stick your feet in the water.


Update: Demotivatored

93 comments:

Double the U said...

See Mom, even the sharks don't want to go near you.

The Man said...

When Chad and his friends heard about lesbians doing a wet t-shirt contest, this happened to be the last thing they expected.

curly said...

Well at least it's not a 'Boobs Not Outboards' photo.

The Man said...

Is it still Thursday?

Anonymous said...

Great, here it is almost the weekend, and now I gotta go gouge my eyes out...

Submariner said...

After swallowing, Orca swam back to the boat and hacked up a Rosie on the stern...

Submariner said...

A split second later, the pleasure craft took the same aspect as the Titanic late in the movie and slipped into the lake, stern down.

Army of Dad said...

Where is Captain Ahab when you need him?

Submariner said...

Curly said...
Well at least it's not a 'Boobs Not Outboards' photo.


Although it DOES have a boob in the place of an outboard...

Submariner said...

Call me Ishmael...

Submariner said...

Flashing back to my previous life, what I wouldn't give for a MK 48 and a firing point solution!

Son Of The Godfather said...

I hope Pinnocchio escapes from in there.

Son Of The Godfather said...

By posting the most anti-Hot-Babe-Thursday-pic ever directly adjacent to the picture of nekkid Carmen Electra, V the K rips through the fabric of space/time and inadvertently discovers a shortcut to the Delta quadrant.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"How they hangin', old chum?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Shirt: "012009... But I'm trying to lose weight."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Shirt: "01-20-09... Finally, a chance for a lesbian president."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Already used on the Brittany cap, but...
"You're gonna need a bigger boat."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Kobe, I'm..."

Sorry, couldn't complete the cap without tasting a little vomit at the back of my mouth.

Rodney Dill said...

(OJA)
Shave the Whales

Son Of The Godfather said...

I thought seacows had whiskers... Oh, there they are.

Son Of The Godfather said...

If she mated with a jellyfish, would the offspring be Jelly-Belly-fish?

Son Of The Godfather said...

I didn't know they made lifevests that went under your t-shirt.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Girl Thought Bubble: "One foot closer to the motor, you fat load, and I'm sittin on a cool 50 mil."

Rodney Dill said...

Rosie: "I've trolled for fish using my feet for bait like this for years."
Girl: "I guess that that would make you a Master Baiter."


(captcha: igpny -- nearly pig latin)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Wow, black is slimming.

Mornin' Rodney.

Rodney Dill said...

"Thar she bloats!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

'Ow to speak Australian: "anchor"

Rodney Dill said...

'lo SOTG

Son Of The Godfather said...

"All aboard the HMS PMS!"

Submariner said...

Cap This Classic:

How nature says "Do Not Touch."


Mornin' SOTG/RD

Son Of The Godfather said...

Where are the water-C.H.U.D.s when you really need them?

Hey Subby!

Submariner said...

Rumor has it that Spielberg's filming a sequel to Jaws. This publicity still kinda confirms it'll be the scariest yet.

Son Of The Godfather said...

That's pretty sweet of Rosie, blocking her child from the harmful influence of the sun.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Usually, picturing hot, lesbo action is stimulating...

Usually.

Submariner said...

Miss O'Donuts; the EPA called and said you can no longer roll into the water - something about a coastline protection court order?

Son Of The Godfather said...

A tyke and a dyke.

Submariner said...

Almost made me appreciate Andrew Sullivan's preferences, 'til I looked back to Thursday...

Son Of The Godfather said...

A cute kid and an gi-normous squid.

Son Of The Godfather said...

You know, there's an AC/DC song titled "A Whole Lotta Rosie"... I get it now.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Old Joke Alert?:
After a vigorous bout of lovemaking, Rosie cleans off all the flour.

There goes that vomit again.

Rodney Dill said...

DRUDGEBREAKING: Tsunami warnings have been issued along the Pacific seaboard this morning...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Has Disney modified the Jungle Book ride so the attacking hippo actually jumps onto the boat?

metalgarth said...

Jabba the Hut and one of his slave girls take a trip to Waterworld in yet another ill conceived sci-fi crossover.

Submariner said...

Riffin' on Cab Calloway:

Ahoy-Ahoy-Ahoy-de-Ho!

Submariner said...

The more things change department:

In ancient Greek mythos, young virgins were sacrificed to appease the hungers of the Kracken.
As we can see in the attack above, Hollywood has reinstituted the concept...

Submariner said...

Bill Nye: "And that proves scientifically that lard floats."

Jack Reacher said...

"Lemme know when you're ready to move off the stern, Mom, so I can reposition some ballast."

Jack Reacher said...

"Let's go, kid. Make sure you dump the spare cinder blocks overboard. I guess Mr. Bob Barker discovered there's a downside to f***ing with me."

Jack Reacher said...

Later that day numerous marine mammals were found to have beached themselves, vomited, and died.

Jack Reacher said...

News article: Judge rules Navy can not use sonar for war games near California coast, as it may harm whales. On hearing the decision, Rosie broached repeatedly in celebration.

Anonymous said...

...and when the stars were right, Great Cthulhu rose from the depths of sunken R'lyeh. He then took one look at Rosie and swam the hell back to the ocean floor.

Submariner said...

Suddenly a pod of dolphins began attacking the huge mammal at the stern, only stopping once they came to the realization that it WASN'T an orca.

jeff said...

"Look Mommy, those orcas want to play with you!"

Submariner said...

"Crikey!" Steve thought to himself, "I've ALWAYS been able to find the beauty in ANY member of the animal kingdom, before... I'll never say that again!"

duke of red said...

Wow, Lesbian with wet T-shirt actually fits, but it's soooo misleading.

duke of red said...

Wow, Michael Moore has really let himself go.

Rodney Dill said...

This one sorta puts a kink in you rperiscope, eh submariner?

Dickey Swollenz said...

all I gots to say is...

"I hope that is NOBODY'S prom date"

captainobvious said...

I cant believe they are already remaking tommy boy.


ro ro ro your bloat.


Who’s the fat guy?

Looks like smuggling calves under a wet tarp.

Somebody shoot it - it’s going to eat the child!

Moby Ick

Moby Dyke

I didn’t know Ron Jeremy took up fishing…

Who pulled the industrial tire from the sea?

btw, as a die hard extreme leftist, that boat is certainly solar powered or otherwise offset, no?

OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!

Hey I was hoping you would post this....

Son Of The Godfather said...

Manatee, or man in tee?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Luckily, the reaction of test audience for The Deep convinced the studio to go with Jacqueline Bisset instead.

Son Of The Godfather said...

SpongeBarb Stretchpants

Son Of The Godfather said...

Only Rosie could inspire the makers of a wetsuit to have an expiration date.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I change my previous cap entry to:

SpongeNob Stretchpants

...I think it works better. :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey mom, that's weird... I've never seen sharks actually swim away before..."

captainobvious said...

"Manatee, or man in tee"

that was a double entendre. think about it.

Anonymous said...

...and that was how scientists discovered that sharks actually avoid high-fat foods.

Anonymous said...

An unfortunate multicultural misunderstanding occurred when some Native Americans attempted to club what they thought was a walrus for its hide and blubber.

David Simon said...

"I don't understand, mommy. If you can't swim, why did you keep telling Ms. Electra that you wanted to go for a dive?"

David Simon said...

I realize that lesbians aren't all that discriminating. But is anyone really surprised that Rosie's Family Cruise has been pared down to a pontoon boat?

David Simon said...

After leaving The View, Rosie O'Donnell prepares to return to her natural habitat.

David Simon said...

"Thanks for the surprise honey. But when you overheard me say that I like fish...well, nevermind."

David Simon said...

"Can we have one meal where you don't eat everything, Rosie? I'm going to shrivel away to nothing if you keep this up." "Oh shut up Kelli."

David Simon said...

Correction: Rosie and Kelli are vacationing in Lesbos.

Submariner said...

"When are we going fishing, Mommie?"
"Fishing?"
"Sure - how else are we gonna catch some more of that 'sea bass' I heard you tellin' Auntie Ellen that you love to eat?"

Rodney Dill said...

SOTG,

Or
SpongeBlob Stretchpants

Anonymous said...

Son Of The Godfather said...

A tyke and a dyke.

Gonna take more than a finger to plug the hole in that dyke.

Poster child for the Marine Mammals Protection Act or Prima Fascia case for the resumption of unlimited whaling, you decide.

Chairperson of the Organization of Rotund Cetacean Americans.

Anonymous said...

Twixt those thighs lie a black hole so vast that it leads to a parallel universe.

...errr not going there.

curly said...

Muff Divers – the advanced class.

wv = fggsx...Fag sex? Why the constant references to John Edwards?

curly said...

Rosie’s out to prove that she has a bigger gash than the space shuttle Endeavour.

curly said...

Endeavour? Damn near sank ‘er!

curly said...

“OK sweetie; I’ll lift my shirt and you scrape the barnacles off my back.”

curly said...

“Wow Mommy! That last queef split the boat in half!”

curly said...

“…and the lucky winner of the Lesbian Wet Tarp Contest is: contestant number 012009!”

curly said...

“No Mom, they’re whale watchers, not paparazzi.”

Double the U said...

Wow Mommy (or are you Daddy) it is funny how all the fish die when you stick your feet in the water.

Brian_in_MA said...

"Behold, children: the majestic Whale."

wacha said...

mom, I told you the sea water won't quit your tattoos

Jay Guevara said...

What, no "fatwa" jokes?

Guys, we're slipping here!

Submariner said...

Tall and tan and young and lovely
It's painfully obvious that Rosie ain't from Ipanema!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Rodney Dill said...
SOTG,
Or
SpongeBlob Stretchpants


Yup, that's the one! well done.

Rodney Dill said...

Fare thee well Titanic

Rodney Dill said...

ROFLMAO
I just finally got Caption Obvious' Hindenberg reference with
OH THE HUGE MANATEE
probably 'cause Rosie as a Huge Manatee is a funny enough thought on its own.