Thursday, August 30, 2007

I NOT APEEL 2 U? R U LARRY CRAGE?


1. Lost prepares for sweeps month.

2. Best of Senator Larry Craig: "Oh, yeah. She is so hot. Mmmm-hmmm. Jiminy, I sure would like to touch her penis... I mean BOOOBIES! BOOBIES!"

3 . "Hello, Mr. Cheney. Care for some 'Offshore Drilling?'"

4. Best of Senator Hillary Clinton: "Hi, Chelsea. It's mom. Hey, darnedest thing, I was cleaning out an old storage locker and I came across some pics from your senior Spring Break trip. Do you remember a blond girl who wore a beige two-piece? What was her name? Do you guys still, um, keep in touch by any chance?"

5. "Well, there were hypodermic needles, used tampons, algae, and beer cans all over the place. But aside from that, my weekend at the Kennedy Compound was pretty good."

Best of curly
Pert, bouncy, full bodied, curvy…Of course I’m talking about John Edwards’ hair.

Best of Jack Reacher
Her mortgage is the only thing sub-prime on her.

Best of Jack Reacher
I hear the other sorority girls call her GEICO: So easy a caveman could do her.

Best of Submariner
'minds me of that afternoon at the Japanese ballet - one l'il Nip in the air after another...


28 comments:

Capt. Queeg said...

The global warming/global cooling debate remains as divided as ever.

jeff said...

"Why does Sports Illustrated always do their swimsuit issue shoots during the winter?"

Proof that implants don't just give you cantaloupes - they also push out the nipples.

curly said...

Dear ‘Senator Hilary Clinton Intern Monthly Magazine’,

I never really believed any of those letters to your Forum section were true, until I met an unusually lady at the beach the other day…

curly said...

“My burka is Coppertone Suntan Lotion.”

curly said...

Pert, bouncy, full bodied, curvy…Of course I’m talking about John Edwards’ hair.

Paul Raposo said...

One of a series of new visual aids created by the RNC to re-educate their senators during their conversion therapy.

Paul Raposo said...

Considering V the K's particular orientation, when are we going to see some scantily clad men on here?

curly said...

“You’re really lost, Paul Raposo. The men’s room is that way, but you’ld better loose the flippers before you start the tap dancing.”

curly said...

For those taking notes, it took Paul Raposo about 24 hours to ask “when are we going to see some scantily clad men on here?”

curly said...

Paul Raposo next request: NAMBLA Mondays.

curly said...

Q: Considering V the K's particular orientation, when are we going to see some scantily clad men on here?
A: Considering his orientation: never…but if he dies and wills the site to you then I expect a daily occurrence.

curly said...

“These are boobs, Paul. God made them so that you fags would know what you’re missing.”

Paul Raposo said...

Your comments are staring to read like an ad on Craiglist, curly.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Come on, Paul, you have an opportunity here... We like "funny", we really do... At least try, ok?

curly said...

Ditto, Paul...Lay off Ann Coulter and V the K and I won't cap your name anymore...Just have fun, dude.

Paul Raposo said...

I thought I was being funny. Have you seen the ads on Craiglist?

As far as Anne Coulter she's fair game. And my comment about James stands. I figure if he's going to post some cheesecake, he should also post some beefcake--considering.

Paul Raposo said...

Curly's Russian mail order bride arrived with several surprises; a kilo of Beluga caviar; Tovaritch Vodka; and a foreskin.

Paul Raposo said...

Sandy was shocked to see that she was over dressed for the White House pajama party--and that she was the only girl to show up.

Paul Raposo said...

"I appreciate the desired "after" picture, Ms. Coulter, but I'm a cosmetic surgeon, not a fucking genie."

Paul Raposo said...

President Bush later regretted asking, "What does the Democratic party have that we don't?"

Jack Reacher said...

Her mortgage is the only thing sub-prime on her.

Jack Reacher said...

I hear the other sorority girls call her GEICO: So easy a caveman could do her.

curly said...

“OK sweetie, now lose the top and get on those boulders over there. We’ll call our next shot ‘Silicon on the Rocks’.”

Jack Reacher said...

"I've never heard of a bathing suit inspector, but okay, let me slip it off for you."
"Giggity!"

Submariner said...

'minds me of that afternoon at the Japanese ballet - one l'il Nip in the air after another...

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

...and by the way - what in Hades happened here? I go away for one lousy week and Curly has to take a newbie to task? Has Anybody checked the addy and compared it to Dawn's?

Submariner said...

Arrggh - tis anyone int'rested in joinin me boardin' party?