Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Hey Kids! It's Phil the Syphillis Sore!


1. Kellogs's least popular mascot ever.

2. Advances in science have enabled us to capture photographic images of Lindsay Lohan's DT's.

3. "As soon as 'Andy the Anal Wart' 'Harry the Herpes Lesion' and 'Gary the Oozing Gonorrhea Pustule' get here, we can go teach Barack Obama's kindergarten sex ed class."

4. Sully tsk-tsked. "Those white tennis shoes kind of ruin it for me. Don't you have any thigh-waders?"

5. "Well, we used to be the Cleveland Indians, until the ACLU sued us for using a racially insensitive name. Now, we're the Cleveland Barebackers, and Phil is our proud mascot."

Best of Double the U
One of President Bush's recently removed polyps is seen leaving the hospital.

Best of Silhouette
"Mommy, why is Testicle Man so angry?"

Best of Jack Reacher
Many popular consumer products use mascots in their advertising, although most people were unaware that Preparation H used one.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
It was obvious that Sammy Cyst wouldn't make it past the first round of So You Want To Be A Fruit-Of-The-Loom Guy?...

Best of The Man
Hamas Middle School - 1st Grade
Kids, this is what a jew looks like. Any questions?

Best of Van Helsing
The surgical removal of Lindsey Lohan's vaginal growth was only the beginning of the crisis.

Best of attmay
Taken from a brochure for Hair Club for Whammies.

Best of jeff
Oddly, raspberry sales fell sharply when this mascot was revealed.

17 comments:

Double the U said...

One of President Bush's recently removed polyps is seen leaving the hospital.

Rodney Dill said...

Celebration for the first one thousand polyps pulled out by Mitt Romney.

divine miss m said...

And I thought the Fleet EnemMan was a hoot.

Silhouette said...

"Mommy, why is Testicle Man so angry?"

Jack Reacher said...

In later years, the Kool Aid mascot had trouble finding work. Eventually he supported himself by volunteering for pharmaceutical testing, with tragic results.

Jack Reacher said...

Many popular consumer products use mascots in their advertising, although most people were unaware that Preparation H used one.

Son Of The Godfather said...

It was obvious that Sammy Cyst wouldn't make it past the first round of So You Want To Be A Fruit-Of-The-Loom Guy?...

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan's colon was an unlikely place to have a birthday party, but Ron Paul's was already booked.

The Man said...

Hamas Middle School - 1st Grade
Kids, this is what a jew looks like. Any questions?

duke of red said...

Thank goodness for Phil the Sore. If it wasn't for him, Sully wouldn't have known better than to go down on a hog with sores on it.

GarthTrekker said...

Karl Rove's new job after he leaves the administration... Well, he did say he wanted to spend more time with the kids.

Van Helsing said...

The surgical removal of Lindsey Lohan's vaginal growth was only the beginning of the crisis.

Rodney Dill said...

Caption This! Public Service Announcement Break.

Use recycled tampons, its good for the environment, and not too bad for you.

Normal captioning may now resume.

attmay said...

Taken from a brochure for Hair Club for Whammies.

Brian_in_MA said...

"We here in the gay community find this a tragic assault on our dignity. How dare you remind us of what we have to struggle through EVERY DAY! Read our stories. Educate yourselves. Morons."

jeff said...

Oddly, raspberry sales fell sharply when this mascot was revealed.

Submariner said...

Operator: "911 - What is the nature of your emergency?"
SOTG: "Uuuuuuh, I'm not 100% sure, but I think I'm watching one of Rosie O'Donuts' cycle clots attacking cars on I-75..."