A Right-Wing Christian Second-Rate Pr0n Blog
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Hello Nurse
1. "No, I've never performed neurosurgery before, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express."
2. "Now, just hold still, and as soon as we get those unsightly testicles removed, you'll be fit to work in the Hillary 2008 Campaign."
3. All was forgiven after John Edwards finally got a bare-chested Thursday babe he could get into.
4. "Last I remember, some fat bearded guy named Sully offered me a cocktail. Next thing I knew, I woke up naked in a U-Stor-It with a live gerbil shoved up my poop chute."
5. "You should know that next week, HillaryCare goes into effect. All the hot nurses will be fired. I personally will be replaced by the pot-smoking gargoyle from Tuesday."
Best of Rodney Dill
"You've just gotta live, I don't think I have room for a red 10 on my shirt."
Best of Whacko
"Where are you? You're in my parent's basement. Why do you ask? Now hold still while I cauterize that booger."
Best of Submariner
Saw IV had a bit lower budget and could only afford a Dremel Tool.
Best of Submariner
ORA: Actually, I was an exotic dancer before I came to New Quahog and got this gig as the dentist.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"OK, like, hold still, OK?... Like, I'm supposed to use one of these to take your temperature, and the other to take some other sorta numbers, I think... Hey, aren't you Josh from the football team? Like, I really enjoyed Friday's game! My friend Tisha was like 'Oh, you should like really ask him out already!' And i was like 'No way, Tish, He's too fine!' And she goes 'WAY! Just go for it' and I go "As IF!', then Tish totally goes off on me for..."
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
Best of captainobvious
Worst Abercrombie and Fitch cover picture ever.
Best of Double the U
Stop screaming, the doctor told me to make sure everything was sterile before he came in.
Best of curly
Although extreme safety precautions must be undertaken, nothing whitens your teeth like tainted, lead laced Chinese toothpaste.
Best of Jack Reacher
"They said we're supposed to dissect a pig, but that sounded pretty boring. So, I'm starting with you. Neat, huh?"
Best of Cybrludite
Note to self: Find out what town this is & get severely injured there.
Best of the doyle
I'll ask you once more...is she prettier than me?
Best of Kaptain
"Yick, smooth-chested men leave me clammy." The sad thing is, somebody will get this reference.
Somebody did - V
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40 comments:
"You've just gotta live, I don't think I have room for a red 10 on my shirt."
"The number? Oh, as part of the Canadian health system subsidization program I play Forward on the Ottawa Snowbunnies hockey league, eh."
"OK, So next time I say you're the six, don't mess with me."
Under Hillarycare, there was never any shortage of Young Republican cadavers for intern practice.
"Where are you? You're in my parent's basement. Why do you ask? Now hold still while I cauterize that booger."
I TOLD you nicely to put the lotion on, but noooooo, you wanted to be Mr. Badass...
Saw IV had a bit lower budget and could only afford a Dremel Tool.
As a matter of fact, I'm Gordie's grand-daughter. Now let me see if I can do for your teeth what I did fro Gramps'...
ORA:
Actually, I was an exotic dancer before I came to New Quahog and got this gig as the dentist.
Now ist der time at Schprockets vhen ve floss.
"Waitaminutehere - aren't I supposed to be sticking a pointy object into you?"
"OK, like, hold still, OK?... Like, I'm supposed to use one of these to take your temperature, and the other to take some other sorta numbers, I think... Hey, aren't you Josh from the football team? Like, I really enjoyed Friday's game! My friend Tisha was like 'Oh, you should like really ask him out already!' And i was like 'No way, Tish, He's too fine!' And she goes 'WAY! Just go for it' and I go "As IF!', then Tish totally goes off on me for..."
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
"Doctor, we have another flatline here..."
Rodney Dill said...
"You've just gotta live, I don't think I have room for a red 10 on my shirt."
Excellent!
"so then I said, rectum? damn near killed em. Now hold still"
"I get the ear light, but whats up with the electric tooth brush?"
"Ill be done in a jiffy, I have a soriety flag football game in 20 minutes."
This has got to be the worst Abercrombie and Fitch cover picture ever.
I am all strapped down, could you please get a lititle closer and lean over a lititle more?
Stop screaming, the doctor told me to make sure everything was sterile before he came in.
Joe’s idea of ‘oral action’ was drastically different from that of his dental hygienist girlfriend.
Although extreme safety precautions must be undertaken, nothing whitens your teeth like tainted, lead laced Chinese toothpaste.
Joe was such a potty mouth, his oral hygienist could be classified as a plumber.
ORA: "Is it safe?"
“The boys from ‘Queer Eye For The Straight Guy’ ordered a retinal transplant for you, figuring that blue irises would better match the soft chiffon scarf that you’ll soon be wearing.”
"They said we're supposed to dissect a pig, but that sounded pretty boring. So, I'm starting with you. Neat, huh?"
"Nurse, I need more duct tape, my eyes aren't quite covered."
"Only nine of my patients have died so far."
The I.R.S. audit process, while significantly changed, can still be unnerving.
“Soon I will have your nose, and you’ll be forced to wear a face mask instead of me!”
The Hilldog’s token male intern undergoes a mandatory tongue implant/augmentation surgery.
On the new season of Showtime's "Dexter"...
“My obsessive-compulsive nose picking has kept me from being a perfect 10, so I wear the gloves and mask to help me break the habit.”
“…it’s code for ‘nein’ in German, which basically means ‘you ain’t getting any’, honey.”
Note to self: Find out what town this is & get severely injured there.
I'll ask you once more...is she prettier than me?
"Oh, you're a figure skater? Let me remove those restraints then; they won't be necessary for your colonic."
ORA:
♪I thrill when I drill a bicuspid.
It's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed.♪
ORA:
"Administer two-amp sodium bicarb, insert an airway. Start an IV: Lactate Ringer's. uhhhhh,
CRAP!
What did they tell Johny Gage to do next?"
So Bobby, you thought it would be okay to cheat on me?
"Do your worst, Dr. Evil, I ain't talki.... Whoa, you're not Dr. Evil. Okay, I'm ready to talk now."
"I'm sorry, I'm not really looking at your chest. I'm just....er, uh, doing the vision part of these tests. Yeah, that's it. Vision part. Oh, no, I think I'm going blind. Can I practice my Braille reading *smack*. Right, gotcha."
"Yick, smooth-chested men leave me clammy."
The sad thing is, somebody will get this reference.
"And you know the Michale Moore movie, 'Sicko'? That's total bull. American health care kicks ASS! Whoooo!"
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