Thursday, August 23, 2007
1. "No, I've never performed neurosurgery before, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express."
2. "Now, just hold still, and as soon as we get those unsightly testicles removed, you'll be fit to work in the Hillary 2008 Campaign."
3. All was forgiven after John Edwards finally got a bare-chested Thursday babe he could get into.
4. "Last I remember, some fat bearded guy named Sully offered me a cocktail. Next thing I knew, I woke up naked in a U-Stor-It with a live gerbil shoved up my poop chute."
5. "You should know that next week, HillaryCare goes into effect. All the hot nurses will be fired. I personally will be replaced by the pot-smoking gargoyle from Tuesday."
Best of Rodney Dill
"You've just gotta live, I don't think I have room for a red 10 on my shirt."
Best of Whacko
"Where are you? You're in my parent's basement. Why do you ask? Now hold still while I cauterize that booger."
Best of Submariner
Saw IV had a bit lower budget and could only afford a Dremel Tool.
Best of Submariner
ORA: Actually, I was an exotic dancer before I came to New Quahog and got this gig as the dentist.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"OK, like, hold still, OK?... Like, I'm supposed to use one of these to take your temperature, and the other to take some other sorta numbers, I think... Hey, aren't you Josh from the football team? Like, I really enjoyed Friday's game! My friend Tisha was like 'Oh, you should like really ask him out already!' And i was like 'No way, Tish, He's too fine!' And she goes 'WAY! Just go for it' and I go "As IF!', then Tish totally goes off on me for..."
Best of captainobvious
Worst Abercrombie and Fitch cover picture ever.
Best of Double the U
Stop screaming, the doctor told me to make sure everything was sterile before he came in.
Best of curly
Although extreme safety precautions must be undertaken, nothing whitens your teeth like tainted, lead laced Chinese toothpaste.
Best of Jack Reacher
"They said we're supposed to dissect a pig, but that sounded pretty boring. So, I'm starting with you. Neat, huh?"
Best of Cybrludite
Note to self: Find out what town this is & get severely injured there.
Best of the doyle
I'll ask you once more...is she prettier than me?
Best of Kaptain
"Yick, smooth-chested men leave me clammy." The sad thing is, somebody will get this reference.
Somebody did - V