Friday, August 31, 2007

Early Money Is Like a Yeast Infection



1. Trinity has really really really really really really REALLY let herself go.

2. The Giant Alien Robot Conqueror extended his Cyberpenis at President Hilldog and ordered her to "Go Newsom on this!" Alas, her complete lack of a gag reflex would have doomed humanity to extinction had not Larry Craig hurried to the rescue.

3. "Hey! Illicit money from sleazy contributors is the mother's milk of politics, and no one ever accused me of being lactose intolerant."

4. ORA: Babu would always blame Hilldog for the failure of his multi-ethnic restaurant, and would always describe her as a "bad, bad, man."

5. "What do you mean 'held over?' How much f**kin' cleavage do I have to show to get a Thursday post?"

6. "Unfortunately, we had to donate the illegal campaign contributions to charity. But, luckily Al Franken was on hand to tell us how we could shakedown children's hospitals to make up the difference."

7. "And on my right, some guy named Gandhi who used to run a gas station down in St. Louis."

8. "C'mon, you guys in the media don't really want to talk about yet another Clinton fundraising scandal, do you? Hey, look! Over there! Larry Craig's going into a men's room. And, over there, John Edwards is getting a haircut!"

9. "Distinguished representatives of the Netroots, the man on my right is not Bobby Jindal! Please stop throwing feces at him."

10. Babu should have been honored to share the stage with Hilldog, but he just couldn't stop staring at her bulge.

Best of Rodney Dill
Hillary: "Yes I'm changing my name, as macaca here tells me Stevie Wonder Woman polls the best."
Man: "You could try keeping your mouth shut too."

Best of Rodney Dill
"How do you like my new Vince Foster Grants."

Best of curly
“…and although my opponent has suggested nuking the Pakistanis, I would suggest that we simply shake them down for more illegal contributions.”

Best of Jack Reacher
"And once elected, I plan to introduce a revolutionary concept: Pre-paid pardons. Make your payment now, and your pardon--should you need one--will be automatic."

Best of Jack Reacher
Phil Collins attempts to hide his discomfort while Hillary Clinton sings the National Anthem.

Best of Jay Guevara
Thought bubble from guy: "Damn, I wish Hillary hadn't had that burrito for lunch. Maybe I can just ease around to the upwind side of her..."

Best of Submariner
Queef? What is mean, word queeeeeeoooooooooooh my Prophet!

Best of Submariner
Yes, Wolf, rumor does have it that Larry Craig only went "palm up" after he shared the Senate urinal with me.

Best of Kaptain
"Are you sure you aren't a Republican, Hillary? That's a mighty "Big Tent" you've got there, if you know what I mean. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go bleach my eyeballs."

Best of the doyle
You know when I squint like this she almost looks human.


31 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Hillary: "Yes I'm changing my name, as macaca here tells me Stevie Wonder Woman polls the best."
Man: "You could try keeping your mouth shut too."

Paul Raposo said...

"And I do support President Bush's plans for Iraq. Why, just yesterday a constituent told me that President Bush's Iraq policy stinks and I said, 'Like shit!'"

Paul Raposo said...

"And thanks to my husband, Former President Bill Clinton's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy on gays in the military, President Bush has breathed a sigh of relief that none of his Republican senators will be called up to fight in Iraq."

Rodney Dill said...

"How do you like my new Vince Foster Grants."

Paul Raposo said...

What do you call a brown man and a white woman standing next to each other?

Two things you'll never see at the Republican National Convention.

curly said...

A troofer twofer.

curly said...

“It takes a village and about $50,000,000.”

curly said...

The Hilldog dedicates a bridge that can span the scandalous cesspool of her campaign.

curly said...

“…and although my opponent has suggested nuking the Pakistanis, I would suggest that we simply shake them down for more illegal contributions.”

Jack Reacher said...

"And once elected, I plan to introduce a revolutionary concept: Pre-paid pardons. Make your payment now, and your pardon--should you need one--will be automatic."

Paul Raposo said...

Hussein didn't want to admit it, but Senator Clinton's, "Yo mama so ugly I could push her face in dough and make gorilla cookies," comment hurt him deeply.

Jack Reacher said...

Phil Collins attempts to hide his discomfort while Hillary Clinton sings the National Anthem.

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble from guy: "Damn, I wish Hillary hadn't had that burrito for lunch. Maybe I can just ease around to the upwind side of her..."

Submariner said...

Queef? What is mean, word queeeeeeoooooooooooh my Prophet!

Submariner said...

Yes, Wolf, rumor does have it that Larry Craig only went "palm up" after he shared the Senate urinal with me.

Submariner said...

"...and WHY do I endorse Oops I Crapped My Pants ™ brand? I just did!"

Anonymous said...

There has got to be a good joke here about Mr. Hsu's Indian friend...

Anonymous said...

Paul Raposo said...

Hitlery's a woman, who knew?

Double the U said...

OMG, no wonder she is standing behind that podium, she has an erection!

Kaptain said...

"Are you sure you aren't a Republican, Hillary? That's a mighty "Big Tent" you've got there, if you know what I mean. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go bleach my eyeballs."

Anonymous said...

What do you call a brown man and white woman standing next to each other?

A democrat pandering for his vote...
A democrat bidding on their new house boy....
A democrat showing him where to get started in the yard....

Paul Raposo said...

What do you call a brown man and a white woman standing next to each other?

Two people Larry Craig has never molested.

Paul Raposo said...

A democrat showing him where to get started in the yard....

I wish I had said that.

Jonathan said...

"Mole. Bloody mole. I'd best not look at it, before I get her...how you Americans say it?...'Vince Foster treatment'!"

Submariner said...

Thought bubble: "By Cali! she gets excited when she speaks of "sticking it to the right."

curly said...

Mr. Hsu: “The water in the bay is very cold.”
Hildabeast: “Deep, too.”

curly said...

Mr. Hsu: “Although it is the ‘Year of the Pig’, seeing your clenis reminds me of the ‘Year of the Horse’.”
Hildabeast: “Although it is the ‘Year of the Pig’, the fact that you got me busted for taking illegal campaign contributions reminds me of the ‘Year of the Rat’.”

curly said...

Brought up tough thanks to his girly name, the man once known as the “Boy Named Hsu’ traveled in auspicious political circles.

the doyle said...

You know when I squint like this she almost looks human.

Rodney Dill said...

Man (thinking): "SERENITY NOW!"

Rodney Dill said...



Thy Country 'tis for me.
donate all your money...