1. "Oh, I just the most awful dream. I was a sick black woman and this horrible witch in an orange smock kept wanting to 'take my temperature.'"
2. "Oh, I just had the most awful dream that a bunch of internet geeks were fighting over who would take me to the prom."
3. "O.K., Mrs. Clinton, I'll put the lotion on my skin. Please put the hose away."
4. "Seriously, am I not a more compelling spokesman for the Sleep Number bed than Rush Limbaugh?"
5. "Whose been sleeping in my bed, and wearing my black taffeta Donna Karan original?" -- Excerpt from the new children's book, Goldilocks and the Three Andrew Sullivans.
Best of Jack Reacher
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? Oh, it's Thursday, isn't it?"
Best of The Man
Mr. Vick I am here for your conjugal visit. Let me guess...doggie style as usual?
Best of Son Of The Godfather
She's kinda like an Oreo cookie... and I eat those starting with the white part.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"The man" shows off his special edition Film Noir Fembot 2.0
Best of Son Of The Godfather
I think I now know what Rosie O'Donnell feels when she looks at chocolate.
Best of Submariner
Papa spank?
Best of curly
The juxtaposition of black on white, the vapid stare, aloof yet obviously clean and articulate: the constant bombardment of Obama ads is frightening!
Best of Occasional Reader
After a night of tipsy, Scandanavian golf-cart driving, nothing makes Bill Murray happier than to dream of that "alternate ending" to Lost in Translation.
Best of Submariner
Ennui, when will you release me?
Best of captainobvious
here pertruding breasts helped keep the fact that she had lost an entire leg a secret.
30 comments:
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? Oh, it's Thursday, isn't it?"
Mr. Vick I am here for your conjugal visit. Let me guess...doggie style as usual?
ANSWER:
Oversized bed - check
Clean sheets - check
Hot chick with blank stare - check
Hot chick still wearing clothes - damn, damn, damn
QUESTION:
What is my husband (Army of Dad) thinking when he sees this picture?
"You're telling me I can't rip that dress off of you because it cost $1000?... Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn."
*RIIIIIIIIIP*
She's kinda like an Oreo cookie... and I eat those starting with the white part.
Verification word: nnerhd... Someone trying to tell me something?
Welcome back to Extremely Extreme Makeover: Helen Thomas
"The man" shows off his special edition Film Noir Fembot 2.0
"O.K., SOTG, we can sleep in the same bed, but you keep one foot on the floor at all times!"
"Fine by me, I still see like six ways I can still make it happen, five of which include you."
"That's right, prop those pillows up, or you're gonna have some funny looking indentations from the headboard."
"OH! I could have sworn you said 'let's go make hot, sweaty monkey love'... Something must have gotten lost in translation..."
...and there she was, and SOTG never had time to caption again.
THE END.
I think I now know what Rosie O'Donnell feels when she looks at chocolate.
Papa spank?
Mornin' SOTG.
DRUDGEBREAKING:
A coordinated sting operation by Federal agents descended on Avalon Manor this morning. Seems they were using the picture above as advertising for their "deluxe suite."
Developing...
“Perfect and Thank You Trisha! Now we just have to PhotoShop Hilldog’s face on top of yours and we will garnish the CapThis vote.”
If that’s Gothic, take me to Gotham City.
Although Madison Avenue advertisers hid subliminal erotic pictures in the intricate headboard, it proved to be redundant in this case.
The juxtaposition of black on white, the vapid stare, aloof yet obviously clean and articulate: the constant bombardment of Obama ads is frightening!
Sparing no expense for her glamour shot, Trisha paid through the nose to hire John Edwards as her personal ‘hair consultant’.
In the hard core porn remake of “The Addams Family”, Morticia’s preferences leaned towards ‘The Thing’.
Curly said...
Although Madison Avenue advertisers hid subliminal erotic pictures in the intricate headboard, it proved to be redundant in this case.
>blink< >blink<
...there's a headboard?
After a night of tipsy, Scandanavian golf-cart driving, nothing makes Bill Murray happier than to dream of that "alternate ending" to Lost in Translation.
Wonder if she'd like me to get her an all wheat donut?
'Ow to Speak Awstraylian:
Giggidy, giggidy...
Subby, can you come up here and help me understand what the definition of 'is' is?
Ennui, when will you release me?
here pertruding breasts helped keep the fact that she had lost an entire leg a secret.
"No! I just finished making that bed," shrieked Andrew Sullivan.
And as Ms. Johansson rose from the bed and walked off, all the men from Free Republic in the audience looked over at their own women and vomited.
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