Monday, August 27, 2007

Another Victim of Silky Pony's Hypno-Hair

Sondra K

1. Ever in search of the ideal voting demographic (pretty hair, room-temperature IQ), Miss Teen USA pageants were a gold-mine for the Edwards campaign.

2. Jennifer suddenly realizes, "Hey, if you're not that guy who talks to dead people, WTF am I doing here?"

3. Another voter's eyes glaze over as Edwards lectures on and on about the dangerous lie of "shampoo-and-conditioner-in-one."

4. "And when I snap my fingers, you'll feel perfectly refreshed and believe those people in New Orleans deserved it when I foreclosed on them."

5. LOL SILKY PONY: "UR HAIR IZ PRETTY. U HAS BRUTHER?"

Best of Rodney Dill
(on back)
...But Ward Churchill ROCKS

Best of Submariner
(on back)
...But Hillary's a better man.

Best of Submariner
(on back)
...at channeling dead babies.

Best of Jay Guevara
(on back) ...at writing vapid t-shirt slogans

Best of Son Of The Godfather
(on back)...
...with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
(on back)
...the way that kid who could wish things into the cornfield from The Twilight Zone is good.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
(on back)
...for the metrosexual movement

Best of Jack Reacher
on back: But I prefer men.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
(on back)
...he got me $21.8 million for a botched boob job!

Best of Rodney Dill
(on back)
...for a few laughs

45 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Dad, can I take off this stupid shirt now?"

Double the U said...

"You know I think I like cookies and cream over cookie dough...."

metalgarth said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

The Man said...

John Edwards is good, bras that give support are bad

Rodney Dill said...

(on back)
...But Ward Churchill ROCKS

Submariner said...

Rodney Dill said...
(on back) - think you created a new standard, bro.


(on back)
...But Hillary's a better man.

Submariner said...

(on back)
...for nothin'

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

(on back)
...at the glory hole.

Submariner said...

(on back)
...at channeling dead babies.

Anonymous said...

(on back)
... at s**king the c*ck.

Jay Guevara said...

(on back)...at chasing ambulances

(on back) ...at writing vapid t-shirt slogans

Jay Guevara said...

"And so I was like, 'Maurice, you are so not using that cheap conditioner on my hair, girlfriend,' and he was like, 'Oh yeth, Mithter Edwardth, it'th the lateth from Parith,' and I'm like, 'Oh well, then, Maurice, you sure know your hair products,' and he's like, 'Oh, Mithter Edwarth, not ath well ath you do,' and then I was like..."

metalgarth said...

ORA: "Everybody Loves Hypnotoad" was a smashing success for 5th straight season

lawhawk said...

Actually, she just noticed that Rodney Dill just walked into the room with even better hair - for only $12 at Supercuts.

David Simon said...

"I agree. Just because you don't wear makeup, have a penchant for sweatshirts and play on the girls' softball team doesn't necessarily mean that you're a lesbo. It's the fact that you can't take your eyes off that Carmen Electra photo.

David Simon said...

"Talk about a chip off the old block. The Saturday Noir Part I chick can never say that she adopted you."

Van Helsing said...

Whatever she's on, the Breck Girl had better hope it lasts until she can vote in the primaries — assuming she's old enough.

Son Of The Godfather said...

(on back)...

...with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Son Of The Godfather said...

(on back)

...the way that kid who could wish things into the cornfield from The Twilight Zone is good.

Son Of The Godfather said...

(on back)

...for nuttin'

Son Of The Godfather said...

(on back)

...for the metrosexual movement

Son Of The Godfather said...

(on back)

...for Ann Coulter's book sales

Jack Reacher said...

on back: Someone sued doctors for $20 million, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and higher insurance premiums.

Jack Reacher said...

on back: But I prefer men.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"When I'm elected president, stem cell research will allow paralyzed people to walk, deaf people to hear, and people like you to have eyelids once again."

Son Of The Godfather said...

(on back)

...at bullshitting

Son Of The Godfather said...

(on back)

...for neither of the two Americas

Son Of The Godfather said...

(on back)

...Do you want a "good" president, or a "great" one? William Randolph Keeler in '08!

Son Of The Godfather said...

(on back)

...he got me $21.8 million for a botched boob job!

prince of leaves said...

"Like, whatever, Mister-I-mean-Senator Edwards..." Allison's cavalier attitude over the thousand misprinted T-shirts she ordered was the last straw for the Edwards campaign.

prince of leaves said...

Edwards' thought bubble: "Those wingnuts all laughed about me channeling that dead child in court...let's see if they dare laugh at my raised-from-the-dead teenage zombie campaign staffers!"

Jack Reacher said...

IM IN UR AUDIENZ, FALLIN ASLEEP WHILE U BLAH.

curly said...

“Your breasts sag remarkably for such a young woman. Have you ever considered joining Boobs Not Bombs?”

curly said...

Photographic evidence that John Edwards can indeed get within ten feet of an American flag without any adverse consequences.

curly said...

“Thank you for coming tonight, Miss. I trust that you’ll spread the good news amongst the other lesbians of Iowa.”

curly said...

In hindsight, the Silky Pony realized that he should never have trusted the Hilldog to order his ‘John Edwards is God’ t-shirts.

curly said...

Nothing fascinated Sue more than the Breck Girl’s lip ring.

curly said...

John Edwards always brings Sue along, as living proof of the days when he won a class action lawsuit against the purveyors of botched lobotomies.

Rodney Dill said...

(on back)
...for a few laughs

...when coming in second is good enough

Cricket said...

Another skull full of mush overcome by the fumes of his hair gel.

wacha said...

The doctor: "John fucking Edwards, you cannot come to this mental institution, put a t-shirt on a patient over her clothes, give her a flag and take pictures for your campaign!"

Whacko said...

"... and blah, blah, two Americas, blah, blah, poverty tour, blah---OMG! I think I actually bored someone to death!"

Cybrludite said...

(on back) food!

Paul Raposo said...

"No, dear. Jeff Gannon didn't tie up President Bush because he hates him. He tied him up because he loves him and that's how he shows it. You understand now, hon?"