Thursday, August 09, 2007

Alba Clean, Alba Time


1. "I don't know why I bother. All this cereal tastes the same."

2. "Hey, Linda Hamilton? I thought I'd run into you here. Yeah, everyone whose ever worked with James Cameron develops a neurotic OCD cleanliness fetish, but it will never erase the stain on your soul."

3. "Hey! Is that Winona Ryder on Aisle 4 stuffing Ty-D-Bowl in her pants? Hi, Winona!"

4. "Oh, no. The muzak is playing Beethoven's Ninth. I'm going to have to go all horrorshow on the next Wal-Mart greeter I see." Trailer from the new movie, A Clockwork Alba.

5. "Excuse me, what works better for getting female ejaculate stains off a satin pillowcase? Gain or Tide?"

Best of jeff
Jessica watches the collisions in the intersection with amusement as every male in the store rushes to help her...

Best of Jack Reacher
"Uh oh, Russell Crowe is in the phone section. Better get ready to duck."

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Aw Hell, here comes that Mr. Whipple again. Charmin's about the only thing that guy won't squeeze."

Best of The Man
Derek Jeter realized that he was the coolest man on earth when he was able to make Jessica Alba run to the local grocery store to pickup a box of tissues so she could come back and wipe the spooge off the bed covers.

Best of Double the U
If a woman uses a mop head for a tampon, it is good advice just to leave her alone.



The Always Good For a Hot Babe Pic
Agent Bedhead

14 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

Dark sunglasses, black baseball cap; when does a movie star every dress like that? I can't understand how they saw through my disguise.

jeff said...

"Hey, can I get a cute boy to bend down and put these back on the shelf?"

"Cleanup in cleaning products, cleanup in cleaning products."

Jessica watches the collisions in the intersection with amusement as every male in the store rushes to help her...

Jack Reacher said...

"Uh oh, Russell Crowe is in the phone section. Better get ready to duck."

Capt. Queeg said...

"Aw Hell, here comes that Mr. Whipple again. Charmin's about the only thing that guy won't squeeze."

The Man said...

Derek Jeter realized that he was the coolest man on earth when he was able to make Jessica Alba run to the local grocery store to pickup a box of tissues so she could come back and wipe the spooge off the bed covers.

The Man said...

Jessica Alba was nice enough to run to the store for Nicole Richie:

-Diet pills
-Rubbing Alcohol
-Toilet paper
-Beer
-Tootbrush
-Hair Dye

What does this girl eat?

Rodney Dill said...

Tide and thighs wait for no man.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"'Scuse me, Jessica?... I just rented Honey, and well, first off, you were clothed the entire movie, and second, you did absolutely nothing with honey,. I call that false advertising."

OK, all you guys are on double-secret probation for insulting the future Mrs.SOTG!

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

Thus answering the age-old question, "Does the Invisible Woman Still Leave Skidmarks in her panties?"

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

"Uhm... Sure lady, I'll get the keys if you really want to rent the Rug Doctor, but given the Jetter stank radiating from those sweatpants, I think you may need to see a gynocologist instead."

sonicfrog said...

♫ My girl, she's one too.
She'll go and get her a shirt.
Stick it under her skirt.
She grabbed a razor for me.
And she did it just like that.
When she wants something,
She don't want to pay for it. ♫

Double the U said...

If a woman uses a mop head for a tampon, it is good advice just to leave her alone.

Submariner said...

"Swiffer?" Sorry, Miss, but ol' Subby only takes long, leisurely drives, not trips to the Quickie Mart.

Submariner said...

No, honey, I think that's gonna take more than a "Stain Stick."