Saturday, July 14, 2007

Tommy Big Hands Now Works at the Airport


1. Not even getting both hands run over by a C-5 would make Rick file for workman's comp.

2. Despite the airlines insistence that "Chief Plane Slapper" was a useless, make-work position... the unions refused to budge.

3. "Dude, I must be trippin' because that guy's hands are, like, huge."

4. "And I can still fit both of them into Paris Hilton's baby chute... and clap."

5. "Does this bother you? I'm not touching you."

Best of Whacko
When you get bitch-slapped by this guy, you STAY bitch-slapped.

Best of metalgarth
James didn't really take the side effects of handling human growth hormones too seriously. He was puzzled by M.L. Baseball's decision to disqualify him though.

Best of Submariner
Danny has a unique training regimen to keep his pimp hand STRONG...

Best of Submariner
Look, at least I stopped before I needed glasses...

Best of Rodney Dill
If Mickey Mouse worked for an Airlines.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Uh, why are the palms hairy?"

Best of racerboy
"He's got the whole world...
In his hands,
He's got the whole world,
in his hands..."

...for once, that annoying song makes sense.

Best of racerboy
The 2002-2006 (inclusive) World Handball Champion selflessly leaves the glamorous world of professional sports, answering his country's call to service.

Best of Silhouette
Lamest. Superpowers. Ever.

Best of jbinnout
Air National Guard's Tommy Bighands disappointment of failing his computer entry test was soon replaced by his fear of being suck into a giant turbine.

Best of curly
“…and I, Curly, promise to henceforth quit posting the overused ‘Kobe, I’m open!’ on CapThis.”…Darnit!

Best of curly
Although Rudy Guliani is famous for getting the squeegee men off the streets of New York City, he was unable to do the same at the JFK tarmac.

Best of the paperboy
Once again, French air traffic control surrenders to a UPS transport jet.

Best of curly
Resigned to the fact that contact lenses were not an option, Joe opted for traditional eyewear.

Best of curly
“Wow, that new sign language interpreter really knows how to show emphasis.”

Best of Silhouette
"Nice landing, Captain! Come on, everybody, let's give the captain a big hand."

Best of Silhouette
You know what they say about men with big hands? Well, here is the guy who started the rumor.

Best of the paperboy
Nice. Making fun of a petite young lady with man-hands. Read her story. Educate yourselves. Morons.



Timmah!

Note:
Sorry for not getting to the best ofs this week and also for the general lameness. I was down in Florida working in an area without internet access. So, I posted from the hotel at night after work. I intend to get them caught up later today.

41 comments:

Whacko said...

When you get bitch-slapped by this guy, you STAY bitch-slapped.

metalgarth said...

James didn't really take the side effects of handling human growth hormones too seriously. He was puzzled by M.L. Baseball's decision to disqualify him though.

Jack Reacher said...

"Talk to the hand, Captain."

Submariner said...

Danny has a unique training regimen to keep his pimp hand STRONG...

Submariner said...

What makes you think I might have taken steroids?

Submariner said...

Look, at least I stopped before I needed glasses...

Submariner said...

I got 'em for self-defense after arguing with Dolly and takin' a bust on the jaw...

Double the U said...

Yup, the military has always been "close enough for government work" on its uniforms.

Rodney Dill said...

If Mickey Mouse worked for an Airlines.

Rodney Dill said...

"Uh, why are the palms hairy?"

cap fan said...

V the K: Thanks for all you do!

racerboy said...

"He's got the whole world...
In his hands,
He's got the whole world,
in his hands..."

...for once, that annoying song makes sense.

racerboy said...

The 2002-2006 (inclusive) World Handball Champion selflessly leaves the glamorous world of professional sports, answering his country's call to service.

Silhouette said...

Lamest. Superpowers. Ever.

Silhouette said...

The enlargement cream warning label clearly said to wear gloves during application.

Double the U said...

How many fingers am I holding up?

jbinnout said...

Air National Guard's Tommy Bighands disappointment of failing his computer entry test was soon replaced by his fear of being suck into a giant turbine.

Rodney Dill said...

"Will Dolly Parton, please deboard the plane now?"

curly said...

“…and I, Curly, promise to henceforth quit posting the overused ‘Kobe, I’m open!’ on CapThis.”…Darnit!

curly said...

Gimme five -- on the other side.
Gimme ten -- Kobe, I’m open!

Oops!

curly said...

It takes a real man to dap with a 747, let me tell you.

curly said...

“Put your hands up, Sponge Bob!”

curly said...

Edward Lufahands had no problems finding employment at the airport.

curly said...

Although Rudy Guliani is famous for getting the squeegee men off the streets of New York City, he was unable to do the same at the JFK tarmac.

curly said...

“My palm reader said that she couldn’t read my future, but she did ask me if I do windows.”

wv = tryojma…”Sorry son. Remember all of that 'if it doesn't fit, you must acquit' bs?”

curly said...

Excitement grew as the ‘Sully Express’ pulled up for the annual fisting contest at John Edwards’ private estate.

the paperboy said...

Once again, French air traffic control surrenders to a UPS transport jet.

curly said...

“My wife is so frigid, I got’s to put on the Jolly Green Giant’s mittens when I touches her.”

curly said...

“My new boyfriend is all hands, let me tell you.”

curly said...

Resigned to the fact that contact lenses were not an option, Joe opted for traditional eyewear.

curly said...

“Wow, that new sign language interpreter really knows how to show emphasis.”

Silhouette said...

"Nice landing, Captain! Come on, everybody, let's give the captain a big hand."

Silhouette said...

You know what they say about men with big hands? Well, here is the guy who started the rumor.

curly said...

After finishing a twelve step program for people who think they out to be superheroes, Mr. Fantastic-hands found gainful employment at the UPS air hub as a flagman.

curly said...

Playing ‘Pantomime’ with Joe always proves to be somewhat surreal.

curly said...

Joe long ago discovered that duct tape worked best for his dish pan hands.

curly said...

Joe’s search for a HANDJOB on Craigslist took an unexpected turn.

curly said...

As a sufferer of obsessive-compulsive nose picking disorder, Joe found the gloves to be the best non-prescription remedy for his anti-social nasal fixations.

the paperboy said...

Nice. Making fun of a petite young lady with man-hands. Read her story. Educate yourselves. Morons.

Rodney Dill said...

"Boy, I hope he doesn't run over my hands again."

captainobvious said...

"I am cornholio, do you have tp for my bung hole?"

"captain, look at that guys huge hands..." "hands I wanted to know why he has a princess leia hairdo."

must be tough to wipe