Monday, July 23, 2007

Kill Bill


1. The mass vomiting that resulted when Bill described how he liked to get naked, put Hill in a gold bikini, and act out the Jabba the Hutt/Princess Leia fantasy from Return of the Jedi surpassed the blueberry pie scene in Stand by me.

2. It's either the size of her hips or the size of her tax increase. Judging by Bill's pup tent, it's probably the tax increase.

3. The Clintons' talk was a huge hit with (l to r) Tim Robbins, Thomas Noguchi, Janeane Garofalo, a big blue hat, and Dr. Strangelove.

4. Hillary totally goes all Lady MacBeth after seeing the apparition of Vince Foster once too often. "Is that a subpeona I see before me/Come let me clutch thee/I have thee not but see thee still..."

5. Gallant rouses the party faithful with a speech about liberating the workers from the gears of capitalist oppression. Goofus mimes the lap dance he got from 'that woman, Miss lewinsky.'

Best of the doyle
"...and if you will all assume the same position as Bubba here, I will do for you what I never did for him, if you all will just vote for me."

Best of jeff
Hillary's droning puts Bill to sleep, where he promptly begins "sleep screwing."

Best of divine miss m
Come to Butthead!

Best of Submariner
"...so you grabbed hold and 'drove the porcelain bus' because of too many Big Macs?"
Hilldog was GREAT at charades.

Best of sonicfrog
"Bill... We get it. You can STOP asking 'Next Intern Please'. It wasn't funny the first time..."

Best of Jack Reacher
Staffers from Pantsuits Palace frequently took their disabled friends to picnics, rodeos, and the occasional circus.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Hey, that disappearing cream worked great on my intern. She's totally invisible!"

Best of GOP & College
"After everywhere that thing's been, you expect me to do what to it?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Wanna buy some wood?"

HT: Robert

23 comments:

the doyle said...

"...and if you will all assume the same position as Bubba here, I will do for you what I never did for him, if you all will just vote for me."

jeff said...

Hillary's droning puts Bill to sleep, where he promptly begins "sleep screwing."

What Bill looks like when all the blood drains from one head to another...

Submariner said...

Guy in the back row; "I'm squishing your head! I'm SQUISHING your HEAD!"

divine miss m said...

Come to Butthead!

Submariner said...

Now ist der time at Schprockets ven Bubushka does der bumpty-bump...

Submariner said...

"...so you grabbed hold and 'drove the porcelain bus' because of too many Big Macs?"
Hilldog was GREAT at charades.

Submariner said...

While Goofus mimes Silky Pony at a campaign photo op, the OTHER Goofus fakes a 'Nawlins' accent.

Submariner said...

'Ow to Speak Awstraylian:
"Waste o' Sperm"

Anonymous said...

And Hilary's ass is THIS Big!

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sonicfrog said...

"Bill... We get it. You can STOP asking 'Next Intern Please'. It wasn't funny the first time..."

Jack Reacher said...

Staffers from Pantsuits Palace frequently took their disabled friends to picnics, rodeos, and the occasional circus.

Jack Reacher said...

Where will Bill be when his laxative kicks in?

Jack Reacher said...

"Kobe! Kobe!"
"He sees you, Bill. Settle down."

Jay Guevara said...

"Hey, that disappearing cream worked great on my intern. She's totally invisible!"

Rodney Dill said...

"I just can't figure it out, he's had that silly grin ever since he went to wash his hands a half hour ago."

The Man said...

Hey Hey, then they found out they put a snuke in her snitch...

Double the U said...

Wow Hill, if you got all Newsom on me the way you just did with that mic I wouldn't have had to use Lewinsky.

Robert said...

This shark has a mouth about *this* big! Swallow you whole! A little shakin' and down you go!

Wanna sit on my lap, little girl?

Van Helsing said...

Looks like Bubba has spotted a chubby young woman in the audience and wants her to come up and join him.

curly said...

“John Edwards! Come on down!”

GOP & College said...

1) Hey Bill, why don't you show the crowd something we haven't done in 22 years?

2) "After everywhere that thing's been, you expect me to do what to it?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Wanna buy some wood?"