Saturday, July 21, 2007

Die! Flipper! Die!

1. Seeking to prevent the collapse of western civilization, time travelers from the future attempt to stop Kevin Costner from making Waterworld.

2. "Hold 'er stready, will you? I gotta strafe that school of Chilean Sea Bass for the Gore wedding."

3. Free Willy's 15 hour stand off with the SWAT Team comes to a tragic end.

4. "I wonder if I could punk those jerks at The New Republic into believing that we strafe dolphins for fun. Probably."

5. Rambo versus Moby Dick was not generally considered a highlight of Stallone's late career.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Call me Sign: Ishmael."

Best of Jack Reacher
"No ma'am, we don't use nets to catch our 'Dolphin-safe' tuna."

Best of Jack Reacher
Oliver Stone's upcoming movie examines the real reason the S.S. Minnow was lost on a 3-hour tour.

Best of Whacko
Fishing tip from "Field and Stream"; Hitting a 60# tuna with an armor-piercing 50 cal. round takes the fight right out of him.

Best of divine miss m
What "boat people" problem?

Best of Submariner
This is a waste of time and ammo; it is useless to go after Namor with conventional weaponry.

Best of lawhawk
If you think peeing your name in the snow is fun, try doing it with .50 caliber across the ocean.

Best of The Man
Any dolphin that swims away is a terrorist. Any dolphin that stays still is a well trained terrorist.

Best of curly
Fishing with Dick Cheney is always entertaining.

Best of curly
“Kobe pays me to keep this section of the sea open.”

Best of curly
Joe was not a popular lifeguard, yet his stretch of beach was always the cleanest and the safest.

From: Castle Arrrgh!

23 comments:

Double the U said...

Bush thought to himself, "Pumping lots of carbon into the air, polluting the oceans with lead and brass, and killing off wildlife, nothing makes me feel better after a colonoscopy...it's good to be king.

Double the U said...

The object gunner is to sink Greenpeace before they get out a distress call saying the government is trying to kill them.

Rodney Dill said...

"Call me Ishmael."

Jack Reacher said...

"No ma'am, we don't use nets to catch our 'Dolphin-safe' tuna."

Jack Reacher said...

Oliver Stone's upcoming movie examines the real reason the S.S. Minnow was lost on a 3-hour tour.

Whacko said...

Fishing tip from "Field and Stream"; Hitting a 60# tuna with an armor-piercing 50 cal. round takes the fight right out of him.

divine miss m said...

What "boat people" problem?

Submariner said...

It's just like shooting fish in a barrel; a freakin ocean-sized barrel...

Submariner said...

Like I SAID Mrs. O'Donnell; I thought Rosie was Leviathon attacking the beach. I'm sorry. Sheesh! What more do you want from me?

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

HALO XVI - new graphics so lifelike you'll swear you're bleeding!

Submariner said...

THAT'S no way to make sushi!

Submariner said...

This is a waste of time and ammo; it is useless to go after Namor with conventional weaponry.

Submariner said...

Rum-runners, drug runners, illegals... it's all the same - GREAT FUN!

lawhawk said...

Q: How do you get the baby dolphins?
Gunner: You just don't lead 'em so much.

If you think peeing your name in the snow is fun, try doing it with .50 caliber across the ocean.

Submariner said...

Sinn Féin gets serious about Protestants invading Dublin...

The Man said...

Any dolphin that swims away is a terrorist. Any dolphin that stays still is a well trained terrorist.

Whacko said...

Capture Willie; keep Willie in a confined aquarium; teach Willie a few tricks for profit; free Willie; use Willie for target practice.

curly said...

In retrospect, most people say that the authorities should have been more suspicious that Abdul, Hammed, and Mahmud all signed up for gunner training together.

curly said...

Fishing with Dick Cheney is always entertaining.

curly said...

“Kobe pays me to keep this section of the sea open.”

curly said...

Joe was not a popular lifeguard, yet his stretch of beach was always the cleanest and the safest.

curly said...

“Attention Base. No sign of John Edwards’ nuts. Over.”