Friday, July 27, 2007

Beckham? Almost Killed Him!

1. "Will Lord Xenu be pleased with this offering, Mr Cruise?"

2. "No way, mate! $100,000 says you can't fit this up your bum?" Becks loses $100,000.

3. "Welcome to the party, Miss Lohan. We've been expecting you."

4. "Of course Al Gore's new 1,400 foot, diesel-powered yacht, the S.S. Green Org, is carbon-neutral. He bought it with profits from the carbon credit scam. Now, to the dock for the christening!"

5. "Gee, Sully? How did you manage to smuggle this into the Scientology compound?"

Best of sonicfrog
The Tables Are Turned: As Tom Cruise tries to convert David Beckham to Scientology, Beckham introduces Cruise to his God entity, "Lord Malleolus".

Best of Double the U
Only two types of men drink Malleolus, queers and Scientology actors who hang around metric football players. We are still looking for the later.

Best of Double the U
So you Americans say "Bottoms up!" when you drink? What does that mean Tom?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
With the rumors about Tom, I'd say messing around with Beckham and a bottle that size is Risky Business.

Best of The Man
We have celebrities, we have plenty of booze. Now where is Al Gore Jr. with all those drugs he promised?

Best of Submariner
Ummmm, I remember this one time at Scientology camp?

Best of Submariner
Teddy the Whale was appalled; "We're only doing shots?"

Best of Jack Reacher
Tom: I found this in the closet!
Beckham: So, you just came out of the closet?
Tom: Yeah, I...shut up!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Wow, I knew Cruise was short, but... Just wow...

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Everyone was having a great time until they attempted to pop it open and Katie was left with a golf-ball sized hole in her sternum.

Best of Whacko
S.O.G. - Either Tom is standing on a chair or Becks is on his knees.

Best of Submariner
Maybe 10 pics below Bill was thinkin' about downin' one of these bottles to get the "Irish Courage" to bed the Hilldog?

Best of Submariner
Throw out your hands!!
Stick out your tush!!
Hands on your hips;
Give them a push!!
You'll be surprised,
You're doing the French Mistake!

Tom giggled and hoped...

Best of Rodney Dill
(ORA)
Two people we wish had had the Frontal Lobotomy instead.

Best of Jonathan
Why Ted Kennedy converted to Scientology.



Source: Agent Bedhead

35 comments:

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sonicfrog said...

The Tables Are Turned: As Tom Cruise tries to convert David Beckham to Scientology, Beckham introduces Cruise to his God entity, "Lord Malleolus".

sonicfrog said...

"Corbett Malleolus... malleolus... malleolus... malleolus... malleolus...

sonicfrog said...

Yeah, I've heard Tom has a drinking problem the size of his ego....

jeff said...

How some guys get girls...

Double the U said...

Only two types of men drink Malleolus, queers and Scientology actors who hang around metric football players. We are still looking for the later.

Double the U said...

So you Americans say "Bottoms up!" when you drink? What does that mean Tom?

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA:
"Please Joel, do what they say, just get off the soccer player."

Son Of The Godfather said...

With the rumors about Tom, I'd say messing around with Beckham and a bottle that size is Risky Business.

Anonymous said...

"Don't worry, David, a few more of these and Scientology will make almost as much sense as the Democratic Party platform."

The Man said...

We have celebrities, we have plenty of booze. Now where is Al Gore Jr. with all those drugs he promised?

Submariner said...

Ummmm, I remember this one time at Scientology camp?

Submariner said...

Teddy the Whale was appalled; "We're only doing shots?"

Submariner said...

After we finish the bottle, Becks, I'll let you make a Vodaphone call to Posh...

Jack Reacher said...

Tom: I found this in the closet!
Beckham: So, you just came out of the closet?
Tom: Yeah, I...shut up!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sure, he's against prescription drugs, but a 5 gallon bottle of hooch is just fine...

Submariner said...

Tom's thought bubble; "Actually, I'm hoping to "Bend Beckham Over It."

Jack Reacher said...

DNC fund raisers were quite a sight, with great food, celebrities a-plenty and, if Ted Kennedy was expected, his staff sent a bottle.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Not from nuttin', but I think "malleolus" means like... your ankle bone or something (serious). People will drink anything nowadays.

Submariner said...

Tuesday? My favorite vintage!

Submariner said...

After we finish, I'm gonna take Becks fishing at an LA storm drain...

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Yes sir, one bottle of our new elixir here, and even the lady 5 pictures below will look good!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Wow, I knew Cruise was short, but... Just wow...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Everyone was having a great time until they attempted to pop it open and Katie was left with a golf-ball sized hole in her sternum.

Whacko said...

S.O.G. - Either Tom is standing on a chair or Becks is on his knees.

Submariner said...

Maybe 10 pics below Bill was thinkin' about downin' one of these bottles to get the "Irish Courage" to bed the Hilldog?
(It'd take at least a 12 pack of 'em to make ol' Subby consider it - and I guarantee I'd pass out before the first was gone...)

Submariner said...

Throw out your hands!!
Stick out your tush!!
Hands on your hips;
Give them a push!!
You'll be surprised,
You're doing the French Mistake!

Tom giggled and hoped...

Double the U said...

Drink up suckers, Posh and Kate are having a great time without you.

Anonymous said...

Note to Becks, switch hitting is in baseball, not sucke... er soccer.

Becks, a (very slightly) more masculine version of Sting.

Rodney Dill said...

(ORA)
Two people we wish had had the Frontal Lobotomy instead.

Submariner said...

Here y'go, Gavin. We heard you were hosting the Sec Gen of the UN and figured this would make it bearable...

prince of leaves said...

Malleolus: perfect with clams.

Jonathan said...

Why Ted Kennedy converted to Scientology.

Submariner said...

A newly formed communist enclave in southern California founded on scientologicless principles, Cruisebeckistan announces its newly designated official whine.

curly said...

“Just three more bottles and then we’re off to the ditch to see Sheehag.”