Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Two Fisted Hot Dog Action


1. Jennifer Wilbanks Wienerschnitzel ads never caught on like Jared's Subway ads.

2. By dint of the tiny art patch on her chin, she's more of a man than John Edwards.

3. She developed her two-fisted hot dog technique while dating John Holmes.

4. "Waiter, there's an undocumented illegal alien in my Swift Meats hot dog... part of one, anyway."

5. "Onspeed?WhatmakesyouthinkI'monspeed?Wheredidyougetthisridiculousideaaboutmebeingonspeed?"

Best of Submariner
"...and after staring at me like that for about 15 seconds (I kid you NOT!), she opens her mouth real wide and just sort of screeches and points at me. Wierd first date, huh?"

Best of captainobvious
Ronnie: [impressed] Wow! My Mom's the only other woman I know who can eat a sub like that!
Connie: [pointing at Ronnie's sub] You going to finish that?

Best of jeff
"You want me to do WHAT with it?!?"

Best of captainobvious
Kobayashi got arthritis in the jaw and will miss the contest? dude Im so gonna win it this year.

Best of curly
"I ordered the Hilldog; it's as big as Sen. Clinton's clinis."

Best of Rebecca
Call Mike Brown, tell him his penis was found at the Section 210 concession stand!!

Best of Double the U
I'm sorry, I am sorry, I am really sorry.... is it Susan? Sandi, Sarrah? I am so embarrassed... ahhhh can you please let go of me?

Best of andthenblammo!
"So zen aftar I take zee big bite like zees, I look at heem with the psycho eyes like zo!. Ze screaming, it went on for days!"

Best of attmay
Stephen King is really phoning it in with his latest novel, "Hot Dog of Death."

Best of Brian_in_MA
The Precious.... My precious!

Best of lawhawk
You'll never beat Kobayashi unless you double up on the hot dogs, if you want to eat 'em that way.

Best of Rodney Dill
"What part of the dog did you get?"

Best of curly
“I was taught this technique while sharing a jail cell with Paris Hilton.”

Best of Rodney Dill
"No it is NOT a Submariner sandwich."

:-P Cybrludite
Source: She Has Only Herself to Blame

39 comments:

2spothipshot said...

Ever since Mr. Ophile started running the "biology" course, the in class "experiments" have gotten weirder and weirder.

Submariner said...

♪Dinghy's go better with Coke.♪

Submariner said...

"...and after staring at me like that for about 15 seconds (I kid you NOT!), she opens her mouth real wide and just sort of screeches and points at me. Wierd first date, huh?"

Submariner said...

Evidently Granny Nan's grand daughter found the emergency botox kit...

Submariner said...

Slowly I turned, step by step...

Submariner said...

ORA:

Sorry, it's just that your breasts needed straightening. They're fine now. Really.

captainobvious said...

"so I was thinking... when your finished with that one....."

"just do it"

Ronnie: [impressed] Wow! My Mom's the only other woman I know who can eat a sub like that!
Connie: [pointing at Ronnie's sub] You going to finish that?

jeff said...

"You want me to do WHAT with it?!?"

captainobvious said...

Kobayashi got arthritis in the jaw and will miss the contest? dude Im so gonna win it this year.

curly said...

"I ordered the Hilldog; it's as big as Sen. Clinton's clinis."

Rebecca said...

She was paralyzed with indecision: spit or swallow, spit or swallow ...

Rebecca said...

Just chew it!

Rebecca said...

Once you've had a footlong, you can't go back.

Rebecca said...

Call Mike Brown, tell him his penis was found at the Section 210 concession stand!!

Double the U said...

I'm sorry, I am sorry, I am really sorry.... is it Susan? Sandi, Sarrah? I am so embarrassed... ahhhh can you please let go of me?

Double the U said...

I followed the link, she is a French woman no? And she carries a gun no?

Can a French woman conceal her weapon in her underarm hair?

Jack Reacher said...

"Move along, Sonny, unless you have something to show me that's longer than this."

Jack Reacher said...

"Hey, why do you cross your legs every time I take a bite of this?"

andthenblammo! said...

I followed the link, too. It appears that the lovely young lady is a championship pistol shooter. I think that it is a very flattering picture. (backs away slowly)

andthenblammo! said...

"So zen aftar I take zee big bite like zees, I look at heem with the psycho eyes like zo!. The screaming went on for days!"

andthenblammo! said...

"So, like, after this picture was, you know, published on the Web, it's like, I can't get a date anymore, you know? It's like, what's up with that??"

andthenblammo! said...

"Back off, Jared!"

Anonymous said...

Food porn.

Steve O

attmay said...

Stephen King is really phoning it in with his latest novel, "Hot Dog of Death."

Brian_in_MA said...

The Precious.... My precious!

curly said...

"Who sez my NOW-dog is made of ground up clitorectomy meat?"

curly said...

"I'm not gonna be one of 72 virgins for some retard in paradise. I'm getting fat, then I'm getting laid!"

Rodney Dill said...

"Here taste this... does it taste like ass to you too?"

lawhawk said...

With that technique, you'll never succeed.

You need to double up on the hot dogs if you want to eat 'em that way.

lawhawk said...

Say what one more goddamned time. I dare you. I double dare you mofo. Say what one more goddamn time!

Rodney Dill said...

"What part of the dog did you get?"

curly said...

“I was taught this technique while sharing a jail cell with Paris Hilton.”

Cybrludite said...

The First Rule Of French Warefare: The French only win when not being led by a French man.

Jonathan said...

ORA:

"To quote Socrates: 'I drank WHAT?'"

Rodney Dill said...

"Nothing beats chinese horse dick on a bun."

Submariner said...

What do you mean "parts is parts?"

Submariner said...

Good Gaia! You really WOULD "fill the bun!"

Submariner said...

ORA:

Why would you ask about a "pubic hair" on my Coke?

Rodney Dill said...

"No it is NOT a Submariner sandwich."