1. "Mein Fuhrer! I can valk!"
2. John Edwards is helped into Al Sharpton's limo after finally being transformed into the white woman of his dreams.
3. Paris Hilton's family enjoys a quick game of 'Red Rover' during a court recess. In deference to provincial social mores among the lower classes, it is not played naked as is the family custom.
4. Dwarf tossing was outlawed, but middle-aged drugged-out gutterslut tossing was just starting to catch on.
5. Paris Hilton's mother is helped back to her limo after "greeting" the USS Nimitz during a port call.
Best of Snarky One
"It's all right. It's only 40 more days, then she'll have the rest of her life to make underground sex videos."
Best of Van Helsing
Jacko's plastic surgeon got it more or less right this time.
Best of curly
"Hold on tight, she keeps floating away."
Best of curly
"That's enough raspberry margaritas with lime juice for you, Mr. Edwards. You're starting to hit up on the mariachi player/strippers."
Best of Submariner
So; you say you took a "45 day supply" of 'ludes. How many IS that, exactly?
Best of Rebecca
Paris is devastated to learn that the warden paired her with cellmate Rosie O'Donnell, who was in for a suspiciously-timed reckless driving violation.
Best of Jack Reacher
"You feel a pulse on that arm? 'Cause I got nothin' here."
Best of andthenblammo!
ORA: "I WANT TO LIVE!"
Best of 2spothipshot
"Steady, steady, that's just the smell of ordinary people."
Best of Submariner
Yes honey; His name is "Calgon" and he's taking you away...
Best of ColoradoPatriot
"Okay, sweetie...I know it's been a big day for you, so don't look behind you...she's wearing the same outfit!"
Best of curly
“Of course your new boob job will give you feelings of vertigo. Just put your sunglasses on and watch the ground like these other enhanced women.”
Source: Detroit News
20 comments:
"It's all right. It is only for 40 more days and then she'll be right back to making underground sex videos."
It looks like Jacko's plastic surgeon got it more or less right this time.
20 years ago, Paris Hilton's mother had no clue that following Dr. Spock's parenting book would lead to such spectacular results.
"Hold on tight, she keeps floating away."
"That's enough raspberry margaritas with lime juice for you, Mr. Edwards. You're starting to hit up on the mariachi player/strippers."
Your daughter's first arrest, yes, yes they grow up so fast.
So; you say you took a "45 day supply" of 'ludes. How many IS that, exactly?
Paris became catatonic and will remain under observation after learning of the "no belts" policy.
Paris is devastated to learn that the warden paired her with cellmate Rosie O'Donnell, who was in for a suspiciously-timed reckless driving violation.
"You feel a pulse on that arm? 'Cause I got nothin' here."
ORA:
"I WANT TO LIVE!"
I see where Paris gets her whorish bad acting skills from.
♪Hush, my baby. baby, dont you cry.
♪Mommas gonna make all of your nightmares come true.
♪Mommas gonna put all of her fears into you.
♪Mommas gonna keep you right here under her wing...
"Steady, steady, that's just the smell of ordinary people."
"Can you STANd-Up STand-up stand-up,
It's just a little cuff click -yeah,
There'll be no more AAAHH-AH-AAH!
But you may feel a little sick!"
PH-"Would you believe I'm cleaning my oven right now ?"
(Don Pardo)Jailed and paroled celebrities alike always say YES! to "Easy-Off!"tm brand oven cleaner when they just can't be there to keep it Shiny and New!
Yes honey; His name is "Calgon" and he's taking you away...
"Okay, sweetie...I know it's been a big day for you, so don't look behind you...she's wearing the same outfit!"
"Whoa. I just had the weirdest dream that I was a former senator from South Carolina running for president."
“Of course your new boob job will give you feelings of vertigo. Just put your sunglasses on and watch the ground like these other enhanced women.”
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