Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Hello, Mudder

1. At the Hillary Youth camps, ideologically pure females are expected to give the party salute whenever they triumph over an inferior in the Mud Pit of Shame.

2. "Hit the dirt! The O'Donnell kid's got a gun!"

3. "Admit it! Kirk was a much better captain than Picard! Or, do I have to squeeze you between my luscious thighs again?"

4. "What do you mean you're tired? I saw you carry Hilldog on your back all day yesterday?"

5. "Give it up, Helga. You're never going to find that contact."

6. And it's another thrilling deathmatch at Thunderthighsdome as Hilldog activists chant "Two 'terns enter! One 'tern leaves!"

7. And then Portia di Rossi let loose her bladder and Ellen was in a warm, yellow and faintly ammonia-smelling paradise.

8. "You call that trotting, you fat piece of crap? Step it up!"

9. "Ladies, I don't want to intrude, but you do realize this is the settling pond of a hog farm?"

10. No one is considered a full member of the Daughters of Sappho Wiccan Commune until they've been in the arena with the one called 'Butch Cassidy.'

Best of jeff
"Good grief Marge... no more tequilla sunrises for you!"

Best of Submariner
Where will YOU be when your laxative kicks in?

Best of lawhawk
And ... down the stretch they come... Mudder with Tweeter in the lead, followed by Johnny Come Lately, Wanna Bet, and Coulda Ben There.

Best of Jack Reacher
As her dry heaves subsided, Patricia crawled through a pool of her own vomit, and vowed "I will never again click on a link labeled 'Rosie Naked."

Best of Jack Reacher
Gallant ran to get the girls some towels, while Goofus asked "How much for the one on top?"

Best of Rebecca
Even in Rehab, Hillary Duff and Lindsey Lohan still don't get along.

Best of Jack Reacher
Once she had him on hands and knees wearing a skirt in the mud, Ann Coulter couldn't think of any other way to humiliate John Edwards. His $400 haircut was already trashed.

Best of curly
“To the Harley bar, bitch! We’re gonna kick some buttho!e surfer a$$es.”

Best of curly
Curly’s 404 error message: “Your request – ‘dirty girls misbehaving badly’ – has been directed to Hilldog’s intern boot camp home page. Do you wish to proceed?”

Best of Submariner
My guess is that Bridgit will next be "put away wet?"

Best of divine miss m
Doesn't everyone celebrate never having to wear that #$%@ing Catholic school uniform again?

Sondra to the K, to the K Is P

24 comments:

jeff said...

"Ride you? I'm going to ride you like the cow you are!"

jeff said...

"Good grief Marge... no more tequilla sunrises for you!"

Van Helsing said...

Good thing they've got boots on. Their feet could get filthy.

Submariner said...

When Glynnis yelled "Now I'm queen of the world!" Andrew pitched a hissy.

Submariner said...

Cap This standard #17:

Where will YOU be when your laxative kicks in?

lawhawk said...

And ... down the stretch they come... Mudder with Tweeter in the lead, followed by Johnny Come Lately, Wanna Bet, and Coulda Ben There.

Jack Reacher said...

As her dry heaves subsided, Patricia crawled through a pool of her own vomit, and vowed "I will never again click on a link labeled 'Rosie Naked."

Jack Reacher said...

Gallant ran to get the girls some towels, while Goofus asked "How much for the one on top?"

Jack Reacher said...

"I may be a little teapot, but this little teapot is riding you!"

Rebecca said...

"Helen: What is that about? What is that male obsession with lesbian sex about? I don't get it.

Man in Bar: Oh c'm, it's just ... sexy! I mean, a woman alone, sexy G-d bless. But two women together is like ... double sexy!!

Other Man in Bar: Yea, double sexy!!!"

KJS ref.

Rebecca said...

She has GOT to take off that catholic schoolgirl skirt.

Rebecca said...

Hillary Duff and Lindsey Lohan are fighting again, I see.

Rebecca said...

haha funny how that actually looked like a pleated plaid schoolgirl skirt on my lame monitor at work. Please let me retract my fashion faux pas.

curly said...

‘…and by humiliating you and dipping your entire body in the filthy waters that serve as a metaphor for all things far left, I now pronounce you baptized as a card carrying Democrat.”

Jack Reacher said...

Once she had him on hands and knees wearing a skirt in the mud, Ann Coulter couldn't think of any other way to humiliate John Edwards. His $400 haircut was already trashed.

curly said...

“To the Harley bar, bitch! We’re gonna kick some buttho!e surfer a$$es.”

curly said...

Laundry day in hell.

curly said...

Curly’s 404 error message: “Your request – ‘dirty girls misbehaving badly’ – has been directed to Hilldog’s intern boot camp home page. Do you wish to proceed?”

curly said...

“Say it! “Senator Clinton tolerates no sass from her new interns.’ Say it!”

curly said...

“Senator Clinton musta been on your back when she said ‘I DON’T FEEL NO WAYS TIRED’.”

Submariner said...

OK, honey, NOW make motorboat sounds...

Submariner said...

My guess is that Bridgit will next be "put away wet?"

curly said...

Some illegals make crossing the Rio Grande a right of passage.

divine miss m said...

Doesn't everyone celebrate never having to wear that #$%@ing Catholic school uniform again?