Friday, May 18, 2007

Workin' for the Weekend

1. To celebrate passage of the Amnesty Bill, the Kennedies broke out the Really Big Cups for the Hyannisport Memorial Day kegger.

2. 'Ow to speak Kennedy: Shot glass.

3. When Cindy Sheehan joined 'breasts not bombs' the market for puke-buckets exploded.

4. "We're gonna keep drinking until we die of alcohol poisoning or the Bush-Kennedy Amnesty Bill makes sense."

5. "You know, this is really good Kool-Aid, but it's creepy the way Karl Rove keeps talking about 'leaving our vehicles' and 'becoming one with celestial consciousness.'"

6. "Patrick Kennedy mixes the best margaritas!"

7. "Whoa, I hope nobody mixes up any of the beer with this urine sample from Lindsey Lohan. Some of the STD's swimming around in this are new to medical science."

8. Little Known Facts About Capitalism: The founder of CostCo developed his business philosophy while running a lemonade stand.

9. "You idiots! Those were the holding vats for Michael Moore's liposuction!"

10. After steeling himself with industrial strength beer goggles, Matthew Broderick goes home to the grim task of mounting Sarah Jessica Parker.

Best of The Man
In Soviet Russia, buckets shot you!

Best of Occasional Reader
Picknickers at the Claes Oldenburg Huge Ass Thematic Cookout await the arrival of the giant weiners.

Best of Jack Reacher
Democratic National Committee delegates prepare themselves for the news that Hillary will be their party's nominee.

Best of The Man
..and after a few of these and a toke of this Ron Paul starts to make sense.

Best of the doyle
This-is-the-right-line-for-coffee?-The-good-coffee-right?-You-know-I-don't-normally-drink-too-much-coffee,-is-this-line-moving?-I-hope-it's-Columbian-coffee.-I-normally-don't-drink-too-much-coffee.-Did-I-say-that-already?-How-come-this-line-isn't-moving?-I-don't-drink-decaf-cause-it-doesn't-give-me-the-edge-I-need.-How-come-this-line-isn't-moving?

Best of lawhawk
Zed was wrong. They are holding an intergalactic kegger down here after all!

Best of lawhawk
Vodkapundit shows the proper form of how to deal with the debates.

Best of Silhouette
"But I only had one beer, ociffer."

Best of Prince of leaves
Great. Making fun of Lilliputians drinking beer from Dixie Cups before bouncing on Cindy Sheehan's diaphragm like a trampoline. Read their story. Edumacate yourselves, morons.

Best of prince of leaves
"Okay, the novelty's worn off...where do we find the 'drink that makes you tall'?"

Best of Rodney Dill
Jonestown annual reunion picnic.

Best of Van Helsing
Passing out the Kool Aid at a global warming rally.

Best of curly
"Cindy Sheehan's waiting for you in the ditch, but I suggests drinking of 3 of these first."

:-P = El Paper Muchacho

23 comments:

The Man said...

In Soviet Russia, buckets shot you!

Occasional Reader said...

Picknickers at the Claes Oldenburg Huge-Ass Thematic Cookout await the arrival of the giant weiners.

Jack Reacher said...

Stung by criticism that their products are marketed to youths, the beer industry experimented with child-proof serving cups.

The first annual meeting of a support group for men whose doctors limit them to one drink a day.

Jack Reacher said...

Democratic National Committee delegates prepare themselves for the news that Hillary will be their party's nominee.

The Man said...

..and after a few of these and a toke of this Ron Paul starts to make sense.

the doyle said...

This is the right line for coffee? The good coffee right? You know I don't normally drink too much coffee, is this line moving? I hope it's Columbian coffee. I normally don't drink too much coffee. Did I say that already? How come this line isn't moving? I don't drink decaf cause it doesn't give me the edge I need. How come this line isn't moving?

lawhawk said...

Zed was wrong. They are holding an intergalactic kegger down here after all!

lawhawk said...

The logic was unassailable. If you empty the canal before you drive your car into it while drunk, you wont get wet.

lawhawk said...

Vodkapundit shows the proper form of how to deal with the debates.

Submariner said...

I don't know "Who's sorry now" but I have a strong hunch who'll be sorry in the morning...

Silhouette said...

"But I only had one beer, ociffer."

prince of leaves said...

Great. Making fun of Lilliputians drinking beer from Dixie Cups before bouncing on Cindy Sheehan's diaphragm like a trampoline. Read their story. Edumacate yourselves, morons.

prince of leaves said...

"Okay, the novelty's worn off...where do we find the 'drink that makes you tall'?"

prince of leaves said...

Old guy in turquoise's thought bubble: "Drink up boys, plenty more where that came from...soon, you'll all wake up to your new lives as gimps in Master Todd's dungeon..."

Submariner said...

Didn't Steve Martin use to have a bit about getting "small?" Never mind - another round here, barkeep.

Anonymous said...

Here's a funny pic of what a Kennedy and friends must've looked like after they'd consumed all that alcohol

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey, put those urine samples down."

Rodney Dill said...

Jonestown annual reunion picnic.

Van Helsing said...

Passing out the Kool-Aid at a global warming rally.

metalgarth said...

They knew how to party on the Island of Lilliput but they didn't know what size plastic cup would be proportionate to their tiny bodies.

Cricket said...

A group gathers for mandatory urine testing at the Kennedy compound. Seems that Ted wants sober drivers.

curly said...

In the Valley of the Jolly, homeless alcoholic Lilliputians visit the scene of the Jolly Green Giant's kegger.

curly said...

"Cindy Sheehan's waiting for you in the ditch, but I suggests drinking of 3 of these first."