Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Well, the Ugly Ones Aren't


1. "So, are the tips good? Being one of the living dead, I mean?"

2. "Thanks for the support, Dieter. Shall ve dance?"

3. "We felt sorry for you, so the girls and I pooled our tips so you could buy yourself a nice rack."

4. "So, what's Jack Skellington like in real life?"

5. "I guess I understand the feminist left's support for radical Islam. For you guys, a burqa would sort of level the playing field."

Best of Submariner
You're right sweetheart - we're for bedroom gymnastics. But you probably wouldn't know about those...

Best of Rodney Dill
"...Thats right, we also get the beer..."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Sorry you're not my type, I only like women."

Best of curly
“Look honey, I know it’s not fair and I'm sorry that you didn't get an interview, but Senator Hillary expects her interns to look ‘just so’.”

Best of curly
“I’m with you, sister. Just a heads up, the owner opened a can of tuna at the back of the resturant to try to draw you away, so try to avoid the tempation.”

Best of Double the U
Don't be silly, they are for doing laundry and cooking.

Best of sixdegreesofblondness
Dang, Data! Shouldn't you be at the Star Trek convention?

Best of 2spothipshot
"Hey,come on,don't be so glum.Look at Helga there behind me,'she' is a defected East German and she still has fun."

Best of 2spothipshot
Though Jane was named for the famous commy-symp sexpot,it was hard to imagine her in anything other than a documentary about insects.

Best of 2spothipshot
"Hey,is that some kinda crack about the way I dress? And to think,I came out here to offer you a cool refreshing beverage."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Then who's gonna help us with the Christmas lights?"

Best of Brian_in_MA
"At least we have a job, you smelly hippie!"

44 comments:

GarthTrekker said...

"Not sure what that says, but do you want me to stand next to you and maybe help you get some attention?"

jeff said...

Ginger, Ashley, and Jennifer didn't exactly agree with Carla's sign.

"Hey girl, c'mon in and get a beer - we'll show you how to decorate properly."

Carla never did understand why the other girls got better tips.

metalgarth said...

It's exploitation you say? Well, I just exploited $200.00 today out of some guys who are just as icky looking as you

Submariner said...

Lemme guess; you still wear a dress to the beach, right?

Submariner said...

Lemme guess; you work at White Castle, right?

Submariner said...

Don't take it out on me that your freakazoid boyfriend mumbles MY name in his sleep, not yours...

Submariner said...

Tips are up 267% since you got here so we decided to buy your drinks for the entire time you're picketing.

Submariner said...

We were gonna wet your T-shirt, but now that I've seen what's behind your sign - why bother?

Submariner said...

You're right sweetheart - we're for bedroom gymnastics. But you probably wouldn't know about those...

Rodney Dill said...

"Now is the time on Sprockets when ve have a vet T-shirt contest."

Rodney Dill said...

"...Thats right, we also get the beer..."

Rodney Dill said...

"Sorry you're not my type, I only like women."

curly said...

“Look honey, I know it’s not fair and I'm sorry that you didn't get an interview, but Senator Hillary expects her interns to look ‘just so’.”

curly said...

Yup -- There's my protesting girlfriend again, embarrassing the h@ll out of my.

curly said...

"I thought you might be one of those 'boobs-not-bombs' dykes, but you're not even qualified to do that, are you sweety?"

curly said...

“Me and the girls were wondering if we could hire you for carbon offsets –- it’s obvious that you'll never go out or anything.”

curly said...

“How would you like it if I held up a sign in front of where you worked that said FUGLIES ARE NOT FOR BURKAFICATION?”

“I’m with you, sister. Just a heads up, the owner opened a can of tuna at the back of the resturant to try to draw you away, so try to avoid the tempation.”

curly said...

“Former President Clinton bought you this beer. He saw you from inside Hooters and he wanted your phone number.”

Double the U said...

Don't be silly, they are for doing laundry and cooking.

sixdegreesofblondness said...

Dang, Data! Shouldn't you be at the Star Trek convention?

Anonymous said...

They're for use as cupholders.

Steve O

Anonymous said...

Yeah, like, you know, that last word was long than like I thought!

Steve O

2spothipshot said...

"Oh-ma-God! Hey,this poor girl is dead! She's actually petrified I think...No wait,that's salt!"

2spothipshot said...

"Come on you guys, someone left a pillar of salt out here.Get your margarita cups,let's go!"

2spothipshot said...

Lizzy was a little awkward about attracting the girls she REALLY liked,but somehow it always worked.

2spothipshot said...

Ms. Blitzers new "anti-marketing/marketing scheme" did not produce the desired increase in sales(or tips) that the Hooters girls were hoping for.

2spothipshot said...

"Come on sweety,drink a couple of these and apply for the job again.I'm sure it'll go better this time."

2spothipshot said...

"Hey,come on,don't be so glum.Look at Helga there behind me,'she' is a defected East German and she still has fun."

2spothipshot said...

When not spiking trees in Oregon, Meadow relaxes by shaming cluelessly happy women in the name of "equality".

2spothipshot said...

"Stay clear of me you oversexed lunchbunny! I have Hillary on my speed dial!"

2spothipshot said...

Though Jane was named for the famous commy-symp sexpot,it was hard to imagine her in anything other than a documentary about insects.

2spothipshot said...

Sadly, a lifetime of wearing "Kick-Me" signs had turned Wendy from all things feminine.

2spothipshot said...

"Hey,is that some kinda crack about the way I dress? And to think,I came out here to offer you a cool refreshing beverage."

2spothipshot said...

(Hic) "I gotta funny sign on my chest too. Ya wanna see it?"

Double the U said...

"Hi there! You look extremely pale, do you need some food? Some water? Perhaps a blood transfusion..... plastic surgery?

Anonymous said...

Wednesday Addams meets the Valley Girls

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Well, at least some women, honey..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Then who's gonna help us with the Christmas lights?"

Rodney Dill said...

"No, but Pooter's is hiring and you look like their type."

Double the U said...

Oh, yeah? Honey wait till you see how you look with these two Styrofoam cups hanging from your ears, you'll change your mind about decorations.

Submariner said...

Look, Wednesday; if it makes you feel any better - we all wear 'Wings jerseys on the weekend...

Brian_in_MA said...

'ow to speak Redneck: Assinine. "I give her face a two and her assinine." ~Stolen from Jeff Foxworthy.

"At least we have a job, bitch!"

"The unemployed are NOT for protesting."

Verification word: sheii

2spothipshot said...

This week on Mutual of Omahas' "Riled Stinky-Ones",the North American Non'deFem(non defemus,North Americanus) encounters with it's natural enemy.

the paperboy said...

Right. And midgets are not for tossing either. But they sure enjoy the benefits, not to mention the six figure income.