Friday, May 11, 2007

Polygolly doodle all the day


1. Mitt Romney gets personal. "I've suffered from erectile dysfunction ever since my Wang was Hit Hard by Rangers!"

2. "Nah, I don't care what Sharpton says. Why listen to a guy who ran for president even though he didn't have a chance in heck of actually winning?"

3. "Thanks Ms Stahl. Y'know, I'm just delighted as heck to be interviewed by all the 60 Minutes correspondents simultaneously."

4. "And if you and all your geezer friends would just commit suicide and stop suckling off the Government's teat, we could have a budget surplus by 2010."

5. "Frankly, Mrs. McCain, I think John got the better deal in this swap and I'd rather jog home from a vasectomy than spend a night with you."

Best of Double the U
No Ma'am, I am not that Eisenhower bastard.

Best of Double the U
Thank you for throwing your underwear up on stage, but I am married.

Best of Van Helsing
"Nice kick, Granny! You got me right in the nards!"

Best of The Man
Mitt, remember me? Wife #14A?

Best of Silhouette
If anyone can help your grandparents understand why you missed dinner, Mitt can.

Best of Cricket
"Mom! When did you escape...uh, get here?"

Best of Jack Reacher
While Gallant shakes Mrs. Newman's hand, Goofus steals her checkbook.

Best of prince of leaves
Old man in tan shirt: "Damn Mormon -- he's just hear to steal our wimminfolk!"

Best of Submariner
Yepper; vote for me and I'll show ya where Wilford Brimley hid that space alien coccoon...

Best of Submariner
Trust me, Agatha - Oops I Crapped My Pants™ brand would serve you well...

Best of Submariner
"...and you can TRUST me when I say we can get rid of the 'problem.' After all, have you seen a 'dark side' in Salt Lake City?"

The Corner

22 comments:

Double the U said...

No Mam, I am not that Eisenhower bastard.

Double the U said...

Thank you for throwing your underwear up on stage, but I am married.

Van Helsing said...

"Nice kick, Granny! You got me right in the nards!"

The Man said...

Mitt, remember me? Wife #14A?

The Man said...

Why yes, it is true what they say about Mormon men. And no, I don't want to meet your grandson Ms. Sullivan.

Silhouette said...

"Why, yes, I do recognize you from 'Cana weekends at CapThis! I posted one that made you a nazi dominatrix pedophile."

Silhouette said...

If anyone can help your grandparents understand why you missed dinner, Mitt can.

Cricket said...

"Mom! When did you escape...uh, get here?"

curly said...

“No kidding? You can swallow a baseball bat when you remove your dentures?”

curly said...

“It’s true that I said polygomy was abhorhant, but I have no qualms about one night stands.”

Double the U said...

Miss Crabtree my old third grade teacher, hey unlike Iran I can tongue kiss you and not go to jail.

curly said...

“It’s Mitt, not Muff.”

Jack Reacher said...

"You must be one of those nappy-headed folks I've heard so much about."

While Gallant shakes Mrs. Newman's hand, Goofus steals her checkbook.

curly said...

"OK, here goes: Three little kittens,They lost their mittens...Can I have your vote now?"

prince of leaves said...

Old man in tan shirt: "Damn Mormon -- he's just hear to steal our wimminfolk!"

prince of leaves said...

After he pinched a testicle in a fold of his sacred undergarments in early 2007, it wasn't until the middle of his second term that President Romney's voice finally returned to its normal pitch.

the paperboy said...

Romney's thought bubble: "If there's so much as one molecule of adrenaline left in this old bag, I'll get her excited enough to vote Romney."

Submariner said...

Yepper; vote for me and I'll show ya where Wilford Brimley hid that space alien coccoon...

Submariner said...

Trust me, Agatha - Oops I Crapped My Pants™ brand would serve you well...

Submariner said...

ORCJTMDHE:

"...and you can TRUST me when I say we can get rid of the 'problem.' After all, have you seen a 'dark side' in Salt Lake City?"

Submariner said...

Put the mic away, Gertie - I'm a Governor, not a Mayor, and the opposite coast...

Submariner said...

Yes, indeed; soylent white is OLD people...