Thursday, May 24, 2007

An Important Message About Breast Exams


1. "Ah, yes, the Dow Corning Model DD1134C. Excellent choice."

2. "Nope, not doin' it for me. Put the hockey jerseys back on."

3. And now, the most critical portion of the 'Hooters' employment interview.

4. "Um, that 'lump' isn't cancer, it's my nipple."

5. "Now, by the time you're forty, they'll probably hang down to about here."

Best of metalgarth
Next up at the Grindhouse: "Teenaged Hospital Orderlies getting in Trouble in your Living Room", a Samuel L. Bronkowitz production.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
In the next season of "Heroes", Heather demonstrates her newfound ability to determine a persons sex by merely touching their chest. It is soon discovered the only person she is unable to "read" properly is Michael Moore.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
So let me understand this... AP photo-journalists can add billows of smoke to "enhance" war scene pictures, but V the K can't photoshop out a pair of gloves and a shirt?

Best of Submariner
Fembot maintenance tip #23: When prepping for cleaning, push gently, but firmly. The silicon catch reservoir WILL come out the Jiggly Bits Assembly at the side.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Oh, yeah, I'm sure Mr. Wolfowitz can find a position--I mean JOB--for you."

Best of prince of leaves
"The imam what? Withdrew his fatwa? Dammit! All that extra progesterone and now we STILL won't be able to leave the house with non-relative males!"

Best of Submariner
"Ooh baby, I'm touching her - now what?"
Livonia phone sex mavens at work.

20 comments:

metalgarth said...

Next up at the Grindhouse: "Teenaged Hospital Orderlies getting in Trouble in your Living Room", a Samuel L. Bronkowitz production.

Son Of The Godfather said...

In the next season of "Heroes", Heather demonstrates her newfound ability to determine a persons sex by merely touching their chest. It is soon discovered the only person she is unable to "read" properly is Michael Moore.

Son Of The Godfather said...

So let me understand this... AP photo-journalists can add billows of smoke to "enhance" war scene pictures, but V the K can't photoshop out a pair of gloves and a shirt?

jeff said...

Bobbie & Jody were happy to satisfy each other's breast and latex fetishes.

the doyle said...

Now if they only had this show on when I was younger. I wouldn't feel shame and old men in the Senate wouldn't laugh at me.

The Man said...

Senator Clinton's interns play a little game she likes to call "Body Twister".

Submariner said...

The Missouri Synod was greatly embarrassed to discover they missed the "en" in their "Kitchen Sanitation Rules" pamphlet
1: All chick breasts should be carefully examined before enjoying in the dining room.

Submariner said...

Fembot maintenance tip #23:
When prepping for cleaning, push gently, but firmly. The silicon catch reservoir WILL come out the Jiggly Bits Assembly at the side.

Submariner said...

Giggles and T!ts, and T!ts, and T!ts... I'm gonna GET some Giggles and T!ts.

curly said...

Thanks to the inadequacies inherent to Hillarycare, at-home breast augmentation kits will become popular during the Rodham presidency.

curly said...

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, Peggy was surprised to find out that her wireless braw was not internet ready.

curly said...

“So you have a push up…Now get down and give Mistress Helga fifty!”

curly said...

“So you have a push up bra…Now get down and give Mistress Helga fifty!”

curly said...

Too lazy to carry out their own depravities, Latex fetishes were the first of the American sexual fantasies to become outsourced overseas.

curly said...

“Titty tech support, this is Joan; may I help you?”

curly said...

"Original or extra crispy?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Senator Clinton, your 3 o'clock is here."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure Mr. Wolfowitz can find a position--I mean JOB--for you."

prince of leaves said...

"The imam what? Withdrew his fatwa? Dammit! All that extra progesterone and now we STILL won't be able to leave the house with non-relative males!"

Jack Reacher said...

Yeah, gloves are a good idea. You don't know where that's been.

Submariner said...

"Ooh baby, I'm touching her - now what?"
Livonia phone sex mavens at work.