1. Spike Bush tried to lead the band into a lively rendition of "Der Mullah's Face," but half the orchestra were Democrats, and they just wanted to quit and go home.
2. "Screw you guys! I can get a mariachi band to play the songs you won't play... and for a helluva lot cheaper."
3. "Bet I can spit my chawin' tobacky right in that there shiny spitoon back there."
4. "What do you mean you cretins don't know 'Macho Man?'"
5. "Cheney wants to know if we can do 'Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.' It gets Cokie Roberts super-hot."
Best of The Man
George Bush hates woodwinds.
(Ah, yes, wood and wind, two of the great leit-motifs of Cap This) - V
Best of Silhouette
"All together now: Kill the wabbit, kill the Wabbit, kill the WABBIT!"
Best of curly
After Kucinich spiked his drink with fairy dust, Bush grabs Pelosi’s magic wand and attempts to ‘change the channel’ to an old Gunsmoke rerun.
Best of curly
“Get rid of the bearded clarinet player. There will be no hairy reeds in my orchestra.”
Best of Kevin Walker
Seconds before Bush turned the tubist into a frog.
Best of Submariner
This 'minds me of this one time at band camp with Laura...
Best of Adjustah
With Snape gone, Hermione just wasn't sure about the new substitute Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher...
Best of prince of leaves
"We've replaced President Bush's baton with an Ollivander™-brand wand made with genuine phoenix tailfeathers...let's see if he notices..."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Let's hear some Willie Nelson tunes. And y'all know how Willie 'tunes up' before playing, don't ya?"
Best of Rodney Dill
Bibbity Bobbity Boo
Best of Submariner
Knock off that "Hall of the Mountain King" crap. I ain't Cheney...
Best of the paperboy
BARITONE! When the first chair violin pulls my baton, it's "beans beans the magical fruit."
Best of Rodney Dill
"Hey you in the back, more cowbell!"
Best of divine miss m
"You...yes, you in the back with the drum and the headdress...mind if I give that a try?"
Source: AssPress Photo/Steve Helber
31 comments:
Christine...Christine Witherspoon... you know your not allowed to participate in the school's band until you finish reading "Mary has two Mommies"
George Bush hates woodwinds.
"Hey you - yeah you there with that horn back there - yer a sissy-boy, ain'tcha?"
"All together now: Kill the wabbit, kill the Wabbit, kill the WABBIT!"
After Kucinich spiked his drink with fairy dust, Bush grabs Pelosi’s magic wand and attempts to ‘change the channel’ to an old Gunsmoke rerun.
President Bush unveils his new “War on Tenors”.
If you study hard and you do your homework, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck as a second fiddle in George Bush’s band.
'Who got the cracker to lead?'
No cello left behind.
“Get rid of the bearded clarinet player. There will be no hairy reeds in my orchestra.”
Yes I can accomplish democracy in Iraq, all I need to do is fade out my voice like this and cue the orchestra...
"Wonerful wonerful."
Seconds before Bush turned the tubist into a frog.
No, George; we refer to the position as a "Director," not a "Wand-erer."
George noted the Speaker's arrival and led the band in a chorus of "Something Wicked, This Way Comes."
You - chubby girl with the tuba; three words for ya, "Boobs Not Bombs."
The boy with the violin in the front row seems to be concentratin' a bit TOO HARD on the Pres' fly. I'm just sayin'...
You in the back - did ya jus' fergit to tune up or are ya a Helen Thomas plant?
Dammit, I thought fags were supposed to be GOOD at this artsy-fartsy crap?
This 'minds me of this one time at band camp with Laura...
With Snape gone, Hermione just wasn't sure about the new substitute Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher...
OK, now after the brass section sings
♪ Who let the dawgs out ♪
I want the percussion group to come in hard with ¤WOOF... woof-woof, Woof...¤
"We've replaced President Bush's baton with an Ollivander™-brand wand made with genuine phoenix tailfeathers...let's see if he notices..."
Bush thought-bubble: "Well hell, they already made me out to be Sauron with the One Ring, why *shouldn't* I cast a few cruciatus curses for kicks like Voldemort?"
"Let's hear some Willie Nelson tunes. And y'all know how Willie 'tunes up' before playing, don't ya?"
The band seemed uninspired at the competition, and discreet queries confirmed that Senator Reid had, indeed, told them that they had already lost, and should pack it up and go home.
Bibbity Bobbity Boo
Knock off that "Hall of the Mountain King" crap. I ain't Cheney...
For the 2007 White House Press Corps show, W decided not to tell any jokes; he simply led the orchestra in the flying monkey theme from "The Wizard Of Oz."
BARITONE! When the first chair violin pulls my baton, it's "beans beans the magical fruit."
Back there; 3rd trombone. He's open, Kobe...
"Hey you in the back, more cowbell!"
"You...yes, you in the back with the drum and the headdress...mind if I give that a try?"
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