Friday, May 18, 2007

Friday's Finger Pull


1. Nothin' to see here. Just Saddam Hussein using the WMD's he didn't have on the people he didn't kill. Move along.

2. Large packages of Mallomars and Doritos are delivered to the Democratic National Committee as they 'brainstorm' on their Iraq policy.

3. Under the Amnesty bill, a "cloud of magical smoke" was deemed an adequate substitute for 700 miles of fence.

4. "Crap! Dennis Kucinich must be consulting with his campaign advisers 'Mr Pipe' and 'Mr Roach' again."

5. "Chinese Fire Drill! For Real This Time!"

Best of Jack Reacher
RPS couriers deliver Doritos and Twinkies to Willie Nelson's ranch.

Best of Submariner
"It not me - dog did it."

Best of prince of leaves
Just another "work accident" at the Aum Shinrikyo compound.

Best of prince of leaves
The Kroger promo promised free crates of ramen for all -- but failed to mention the Indiana-Jones-like gauntlet shoppers would have to run to obtain them.

Best of Submariner
When we return to E! True Story;
SOTG's run for the border, a few too many Dos Equis, and his role in the tragic prom ending.

Best of prince of leaves
Thompson-as-Norris Cap: President Fred Thompson was so tough, it only took one puff of smoke from his cuban cigar to turn back the attempted Communist invasion of Taiwan.

Best of Submariner
Visitors to Atlanta's Hartsfield Airport run past the designated "Smoker's Lounge."

Best of Submariner
Dawn helped out Old Navy™ by generating her own "Fire Sale."

:-P: John "Them Dukes" Schneider

22 comments:

Double the U said...

Delivery of ho-hos do Michael Moore's bathroom.

Jack Reacher said...

RPS couriers deliver Doritos and Twinkies to Willie Nelson's ranch.

Jack Reacher said...

After dispatching loyal staffers with the usual admonishment to "Fly, monkeys, fly!" Senator Clinton vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Submariner said...

ORCJTMDHE:

'muricans're smart enough to know you take 'em out of the cartons before ya light up yer Marlboros. Stupid Chinks...

Submariner said...

And another shipment of eel leaves the LaChoy factory...

Submariner said...

ORA:

Somehow, I don't think this remake of John Carpenter's classic story is gonna make it...

Submariner said...

It takes a lot of wet willow to smoke a tiger's penis.

Submariner said...

First guy; "It not me - dog did it."

Submariner said...

I'm overcome by smoke - send me two oriental nurses with smokin' bodies!

Submariner said...

After Sister Mary Elephant passed out the free condoms at Avalon Manor, the entire block had to be evacuated due to latex friction fires.

prince of leaves said...

Just another "work accident" at the Aum Shinrikyo compound.

prince of leaves said...

After yet another deadly toxic spill at the Wonka factory, the Oompa Loompas decided to unionize and demand workplace safety improvements.

Submariner said...

How to tell when Kim Chi's properly aged...

prince of leaves said...

The Kroger promo promised free crates of ramen for all -- but failed to mention the Indiana-Jones-like gauntlet shoppers would have to run to obtain them.

Submariner said...

When we return to E! True Story;
SOTG's run for the border, a few too many Dos Equis, and his role in the tragic prom ending.

prince of leaves said...

Within days of Islamic terrorists flying planes into Taipei 101, Taiwanese truthers were already blaming George Bush for bringing down the tower.

prince of leaves said...

Thompson-as-Norris Cap: President Fred Thompson was so tough, it only took one puff of smoke from his cuban cigar to turn back the attempted Communist invasion of Taiwan.

prince of leaves said...

Obligatory R-L Transposition: "Stupid Chen! I say 'Set fire on firing cabinet', not 'Set firing cabinet on file!'"

Anonymous said...

"The Thai government reportedly plans to sue V the K after Dawn's head finally exploded during a recent visit."

curly said...

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Submariner said...

Visitors to Atlanta's Hartsfield Airport run past the designated "Smoker's Lounge."

Submariner said...

Dawn helped out Old Navy™ by generating her own "Fire Sale."