Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Bitchslap of the HillDog


1. "It *was* Gavin Newsom's man-spit. Now, it's mine!"

2. "I'm a f**king little teapot, this is my f**king handle, this is my f**king spout."

3. Q. What is the sound of one-hand clapping? A. The grating shriek of a permanently menstruating militant lesbian.

4. "And then I said, 'Back off, Ellen. That one's mine!"

5. Hillary's mouth is the 7-11 restroom of politics, it's always open, full of crap, and scarier than Hell.

6. "And then I said, 'You kids get off that thing. It's not a trampoline, it's my diaphragm!'"

7. "Any Indigo Girls fans in the audience. Let's see some hands."

8. "Then, I said to Bill 'My intern? I thought she was *your* intern?'"

9. "And when I get take-out chicken from 'Popeye's' I say 'Take that, Colonel Sanders! Take that, Burger King!'"

10. "Ein Volk! Ein Dyke!"

11. "And ever since that crazed cannibal clown ate my right arm, I have been a disabled American."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Let me explain to all V's caption minions... This is Tuesday... 'Hot Babe' day is way over here at Thursday..."

Best of curly
“…and although even the Fwench voted against womyn, amerika is ready for a change in the status quo manbearpig old-boy-network racist/homophobic oligarchy.”

Best of Son Of The Godfather
It's usually pretty easy for my filthy mind to substitute a phallus into a cap picture involving a microphone and an open mouth...

Usually.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
The earrings and bracelet kinda make that dude look almost like a chick.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"My breath smells like tuna, and you KNOW what I'm talkin' bout."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
What Commander Riker would have ended up with if he married that androgenous being from the episode no one likes to talk about.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
She knew she may have crossed the line in pandering to the black vote when she promised to "keep her pimp hand strong".

Best of Jack Reacher
"Coming this fall, American Idol, Cranky Marxist Lesbian Edition!"

Best of Submariner
"Actually, after getting it in, I prefer to open my hand and wiggle my fingers thusly for maximum pleasure ..."

Best of Submariner
She-Hulk MAD! She-Hulk SMASH puny liberties.

Best of Targetpractice
I tried to follow Hillary's speech, but then she started screaming something about "The Sudetenland" in German and I got lost.

:-P A.Rapp

34 comments:

curly said...

"Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Vote for Hillary and let the Nanny State take care of all of your needs!"

curly said...

“To prove my leftist bona fides, I’ve opted to hog tie my right hand behind my back for the remainder of the campaign.”

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Let me explain to all V's caption minions... This is Tuesday... 'Hot Babe' day is way over here at Thursday..."

curly said...

“It takes a village to raise a child, but it takes my left hand across Carl Rove’s face to fix amerika.”

Son Of The Godfather said...

You can't see it, but there's an "A" on the part of the microphone facing down.

curly said...

“…and if you vote for me, I’ll allow you to use TWO squares of toilet paper.”

curly said...

“…and although even the Fwench voted against womyn, amerika is ready for a change in the status quo manbearpig old-boy-network racist/homophobic oligarchy.”

Son Of The Godfather said...

It's usually pretty easy for my filthy mind to substitute a phallus into a cap picture involving a microphone and an open mouth...

Usually.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The earrings and bracelet kinda make that dude look almost like a chick.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung...

Son Of The Godfather said...

"My breath smells like tuna, and you KNOW what I'm talkin' bout."

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA?
"And as my running mate, I've chosen Harvey here..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

What Commander Riker would have ended up with if he married that androgenous being from the episode no one likes to talk about.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Is this from the speech posted on Drudge where she's choking on a pubic hair?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"We are going to take things away from you for the common good... And we're going to start with the comely young woman in the short skirt... third row, 4th over..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

She knew she may have crossed the line in pandering to the black vote when she promised to "keep her pimp hand strong".

(forgive me, dear Dawn :)

Van Helsing said...

Shrillary announces her solution to global warming: population reduction through mass castration.

Son Of The Godfather said...

When did Sylar gain the ability to mimic forms? Evil bastard.

curly said...

"...and unlike my husband, you'll never find traces of my DNA on some hapless intern's blue dress. All of my interns will be naked as jaybirds."

Jack Reacher said...

"On this hand, my left, is my America. On the right? Who cares? They'll be in concentration camps!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Oh, sweet mystery of life,
At last I've found yoooouuuu..."

Submariner said...

With me at the helm, amerikkka will LEARN that it is ONLY proper to make left turns in policy...

Submariner said...

"Speak to the hand" my big ol' hairy @ss. BACKHAND the b@stard HARD I say...

Jack Reacher said...

"Coming this fall, American Idol, Cranky Marxist Lesbian Edition!"

Submariner said...

A pox upon "Fox News." When I'm queen I shall remove their heads, and legs, and feet, and hands...
(send my intern out for a Happy Meal.)

Submariner said...

"Actually, after getting it in, I prefer to open my hand and wiggle my fingers thusly for maximum pleasure ..."

Submariner said...

She-Hulk MAD!
She-Hulk SMASH puny liberties.

Targetpractice said...

I tried to follow Hillary's speech, but then she started screaming something about "The Rhineland" in German and I got lost.

Double the U said...

Nag nag nag, naaaaag nag nag, nag naggity nag, nag nag nag.

(The only thing I ever hear when her mouth is open is a the most angry, bitter vocal sounds coming from an overly controlling woman.)

Double the U said...

See how the left hand is free? The right hand bound down and not allowed to move the way it should be in a free, open, and tolerant society.

Jonathan said...

Hilldawg panders to the Tallahassee audience by attempting FSU's famed Tomahawk Chop.

Anonymous said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

Wait, that is a flying monkey popping outta my ass!

Submariner said...

Kobe - over here! I'm only half-way open, but the media's blocking for me...

Submariner said...

"And WHEN elected, I promise to bi-yotch slap the new first lady - Bill - on a reg'lar basis. And you KNOW what I'm talking about..."