1. "Tip, what's a 'smelly pirate hooker?'"
2. "This ad says she's a kinked-out chubby chaser with a fetish for combovers. Jackpot!"
3. "Wow, this Prince M'Benga guy sounds like he could really use my help. And, I could use the cash to buy some carbon off-sets!"
4. "Hey, Tip... what are all these lesbian chat rooms doing under my bookmarks?"
5. "r u really 14? do u have xxx selfpix?" How Al Gore met Miss America.
6. Typical Sunday at Gore Manor. Get baked. Watch the screensaver.
7. "I GOT MAIL! I GOT MAIL! YAY!"
8. ORA: "Tip? What the hell is a 'globular cluster?'"
9. "Something's wrong. Usually it's lots of little technicolor frogs. What the Hell did that kid sell me?"
10. "What the hell? Whenever I type something, it makes red lines under the text. How the hell am I supposed to send the New York Times an important global warming editorial with red lines all over it?"
Best of Submariner
ANOTHER pic and captions that makes me look stupid - I'll get that bastidge V. the K. if it's the last... Whoa; get a grip on yourself, buddy, this is CNN.com...
Best of Jack Reacher
"My online horoscope says 'If there's a large multicolored frog on the wall behind you, you are a shameless self-promoting hypocrite.' Stupid online horoscope."
Best of chunkstyle
"Man, look at those carbon-based papers offsetting the structural integrity of the desk."
Best of Tremor
Meanwhile, inside the Goracle's secret command center, our intrepid hero tracks the movements of the nefarious Manbearpig.
Best of Jack Reacher
Al Gore continues development work on his Paperless Office Initiative.
Best of Submariner
ORA: The Goracle chuckles lowly as he scans the newly installed "Sliver-vision" display unit.
Best of Jay Guevara
Damn, I hope Sheryl doesn't extend that "one sheet" business to printer paper...
Best of Silhouette
One of the stipulations of Arafat's will was that the horrible red binder continue to be stored in the middle of a desk pile.
Best of Jonathan
"Dammit, all the best IM handles are taken: bushsux, alwonFL2k, dierove..." Al has a hard time registering with the new Kos commenting system.
Best of curly
“Tipsy, have you seen my copy of The Communist Manifesto? I had it right here, next to Mein Kampf.”
Best of Chrees
"I can find the explicit lyric versions of songs on iTunes much easier thanks to Tipper."
Best of prince of leaves
After months of concerted effort, Al Gore whittled the size of his office's carbon footprint down to merely that of Peru.
Best of Cybrludite
"The latest book of "Worlds Apart" is out!I wonder what hijinxs XCommander Lear will be up to this time..."
Best of The Man
Hot.....Not Hot.....Hot....
Best of curly
"That damn Sheryl Crow is horning in on my global warming schtick, but I'll show her. I'll recommend cutting the toilet paper squares in four and save more trees than her."
Best of Submariner
Dear Penthouse, I never believed your letters were real until this REALLY happened to me...
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Yo douchebag... How's about using an inconvenient filing cabinet?
Best of curly
"Instead of 'how much wood could a woodchuck chuck', let's figure out the carbon footprint of these troublesome creatures."
Best of sonicfrog
Hey! I invented this!!!
Source: Sondra K
32 comments:
After inventing the Internet, the Goracle came up with a special three-way monitor that allows him to write scalding denunciations of industrialized civilization while at the same time watching his favorite cartoons and monitoring the camera he set up in Tipper's bathroom.
ANOTHER pic and captions that makes me look stupid - I'll get that bastidge V. the K. if it's the last... Whoa; get a grip on yourself, buddy, this is CNN.com...
Man - Babs' flapjacks are contributing to MY global warming!
hmmmmmmm. I wonder where this "Avalon Manor" is located?
"My online horoscope says 'If there's a large multicolored frog on the wall behind you, you are a shameless self-promoting hypocrite.' Stupid online horoscope."
Nice, I love the globular cluster ORA.
My $0.02:
"The new Gorebot model comes with a life-like chair charger accessory."
"Man, look at those carbon-based papers offsetting the structural integrity of the desk."
"And every time I click this icon, Hillary says 'It's for the children.' Cool."
Meanwhile, inside the Goracle's secret command center, our intrepid hero tracks the movements of the nefarious Manbearpig.
Al Gore continues development work on his Paperless Office Initiative.
"Just one more click, and the Asian couriers will be on the way with my munchies."
ORA:
The Goracle chuckles lowly as he scans the newly installed "Sliver-vision" display unit.
Well waddaya know? I never realized a manbearpig could operate a computer!
Damn, I hope Sheryl doesn't extend that "one sheet" business to printer paper...
I'll see your globular cluster and raise you a:
One of the stipulations of Arafat's will was that the horrible red binder continue to be stored in the middle of a desk pile.
"Dammit, all the best IM handles are taken: bushsux, alwonFL2k, dierove..." Al has a hard time registering with the new Kos commenting system.
“Tipsy, have you seen my copy of The Communist Manifesto? I had it right here, next to Mein Kampf.”
"I can find the explicit lyric versions of songs on iTunes much easier thanks to Tipper."
An inconvenient goof blogs on about his Inconvenient Ruse.
After months of concerted effort, Al Gore whittled the size of his office's carbon footprint down to merely that of Peru.
"Damned deniers! They'll sure as hell believe that man-made global warming is the truth when I have them rounded up and sent to the reeducation camps!"
"The latest book of "Worlds Apart" is out!I wonder what hijinxs XCommander Lear will be up to this time..."
Word Verification: gotydf Sounds like a recruiting ad for the Yronwoode Defense Forces...
Hot.....Not Hot.....Hot....
L'il Kim; I sent you the d@mn missle technology when I promised and now I need your country's carbon offsets like YOU promised...
"That damn Sheryl Crow is horning in on my global warming schtick, but I'll show her. I'll recommend cutting the toilet paper squares in four and save more trees than her."
Dear Penthouse, I never believed your letters were real until this REALLY happened to me...
(huh! ...maybe if I eat one Tipper will look like HER...) Let's try this great vegan brownie recipe I just found, Tip
Who knew that to quell the Goreacle's bloviating, all we had to do was introduce him to World of Warcraft?
Yo douchebag... How's about using an inconvenient filing cabinet?
While alGore may not have invented the internet, he was the inspiration for the advent of gay porn.
"Instead of 'how much wood could a woodchuck chuck', let's figure out the carbon footprint of these troublesome creatures."
Why do people keep writing letters telling me I need to go to McDonald's?
Hey! I invented this!!!
"Sheryl Crow? Tell her to go away, she's just run of of TP."
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