Monday, May 21, 2007

Al Gore Is a Turd


1. "Tip, what's a 'smelly pirate hooker?'"

2. "This ad says she's a kinked-out chubby chaser with a fetish for combovers. Jackpot!"

3. "Wow, this Prince M'Benga guy sounds like he could really use my help. And, I could use the cash to buy some carbon off-sets!"

4. "Hey, Tip... what are all these lesbian chat rooms doing under my bookmarks?"

5. "r u really 14? do u have xxx selfpix?" How Al Gore met Miss America.

6. Typical Sunday at Gore Manor. Get baked. Watch the screensaver.

7. "I GOT MAIL! I GOT MAIL! YAY!"

8. ORA: "Tip? What the hell is a 'globular cluster?'"

9. "Something's wrong. Usually it's lots of little technicolor frogs. What the Hell did that kid sell me?"

10. "What the hell? Whenever I type something, it makes red lines under the text. How the hell am I supposed to send the New York Times an important global warming editorial with red lines all over it?"

Best of Submariner
ANOTHER pic and captions that makes me look stupid - I'll get that bastidge V. the K. if it's the last... Whoa; get a grip on yourself, buddy, this is CNN.com...

Best of Jack Reacher
"My online horoscope says 'If there's a large multicolored frog on the wall behind you, you are a shameless self-promoting hypocrite.' Stupid online horoscope."

Best of chunkstyle
"Man, look at those carbon-based papers offsetting the structural integrity of the desk."

Best of Tremor
Meanwhile, inside the Goracle's secret command center, our intrepid hero tracks the movements of the nefarious Manbearpig.

Best of Jack Reacher
Al Gore continues development work on his Paperless Office Initiative.

Best of Submariner
ORA: The Goracle chuckles lowly as he scans the newly installed "Sliver-vision" display unit.

Best of Jay Guevara
Damn, I hope Sheryl doesn't extend that "one sheet" business to printer paper...

Best of Silhouette
One of the stipulations of Arafat's will was that the horrible red binder continue to be stored in the middle of a desk pile.

Best of Jonathan
"Dammit, all the best IM handles are taken: bushsux, alwonFL2k, dierove..." Al has a hard time registering with the new Kos commenting system.

Best of curly
“Tipsy, have you seen my copy of The Communist Manifesto? I had it right here, next to Mein Kampf.”

Best of Chrees
"I can find the explicit lyric versions of songs on iTunes much easier thanks to Tipper."

Best of prince of leaves
After months of concerted effort, Al Gore whittled the size of his office's carbon footprint down to merely that of Peru.

Best of Cybrludite
"The latest book of "Worlds Apart" is out!I wonder what hijinxs XCommander Lear will be up to this time..."

Best of The Man
Hot.....Not Hot.....Hot....

Best of curly
"That damn Sheryl Crow is horning in on my global warming schtick, but I'll show her. I'll recommend cutting the toilet paper squares in four and save more trees than her."

Best of Submariner
Dear Penthouse, I never believed your letters were real until this REALLY happened to me...

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Yo douchebag... How's about using an inconvenient filing cabinet?

Best of curly
"Instead of 'how much wood could a woodchuck chuck', let's figure out the carbon footprint of these troublesome creatures."

Best of sonicfrog
Hey! I invented this!!!

Source: Sondra K

32 comments:

Van Helsing said...

After inventing the Internet, the Goracle came up with a special three-way monitor that allows him to write scalding denunciations of industrialized civilization while at the same time watching his favorite cartoons and monitoring the camera he set up in Tipper's bathroom.

Submariner said...

ANOTHER pic and captions that makes me look stupid - I'll get that bastidge V. the K. if it's the last... Whoa; get a grip on yourself, buddy, this is CNN.com...

Submariner said...

Man - Babs' flapjacks are contributing to MY global warming!

Submariner said...

hmmmmmmm. I wonder where this "Avalon Manor" is located?

Jack Reacher said...

"My online horoscope says 'If there's a large multicolored frog on the wall behind you, you are a shameless self-promoting hypocrite.' Stupid online horoscope."

chunkstyle said...

Nice, I love the globular cluster ORA.

My $0.02:

"The new Gorebot model comes with a life-like chair charger accessory."

"Man, look at those carbon-based papers offsetting the structural integrity of the desk."

Jack Reacher said...

"And every time I click this icon, Hillary says 'It's for the children.' Cool."

Tremor said...

Meanwhile, inside the Goracle's secret command center, our intrepid hero tracks the movements of the nefarious Manbearpig.

Jack Reacher said...

Al Gore continues development work on his Paperless Office Initiative.

"Just one more click, and the Asian couriers will be on the way with my munchies."

Submariner said...

ORA:

The Goracle chuckles lowly as he scans the newly installed "Sliver-vision" display unit.

Submariner said...

Well waddaya know? I never realized a manbearpig could operate a computer!

Jay Guevara said...

Damn, I hope Sheryl doesn't extend that "one sheet" business to printer paper...

Silhouette said...

I'll see your globular cluster and raise you a:

One of the stipulations of Arafat's will was that the horrible red binder continue to be stored in the middle of a desk pile.

Jonathan said...

"Dammit, all the best IM handles are taken: bushsux, alwonFL2k, dierove..." Al has a hard time registering with the new Kos commenting system.

curly said...

“Tipsy, have you seen my copy of The Communist Manifesto? I had it right here, next to Mein Kampf.”

Chrees said...

"I can find the explicit lyric versions of songs on iTunes much easier thanks to Tipper."

curly said...

An inconvenient goof blogs on about his Inconvenient Ruse.

prince of leaves said...

After months of concerted effort, Al Gore whittled the size of his office's carbon footprint down to merely that of Peru.

prince of leaves said...

"Damned deniers! They'll sure as hell believe that man-made global warming is the truth when I have them rounded up and sent to the reeducation camps!"

Cybrludite said...

"The latest book of "Worlds Apart" is out!I wonder what hijinxs XCommander Lear will be up to this time..."

Word Verification: gotydf Sounds like a recruiting ad for the Yronwoode Defense Forces...

The Man said...

Hot.....Not Hot.....Hot....

Submariner said...

L'il Kim; I sent you the d@mn missle technology when I promised and now I need your country's carbon offsets like YOU promised...

curly said...

"That damn Sheryl Crow is horning in on my global warming schtick, but I'll show her. I'll recommend cutting the toilet paper squares in four and save more trees than her."

Submariner said...

Dear Penthouse, I never believed your letters were real until this REALLY happened to me...

Submariner said...

(huh! ...maybe if I eat one Tipper will look like HER...) Let's try this great vegan brownie recipe I just found, Tip

Son Of The Godfather said...

Who knew that to quell the Goreacle's bloviating, all we had to do was introduce him to World of Warcraft?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Yo douchebag... How's about using an inconvenient filing cabinet?

curly said...

While alGore may not have invented the internet, he was the inspiration for the advent of gay porn.

curly said...

"Instead of 'how much wood could a woodchuck chuck', let's figure out the carbon footprint of these troublesome creatures."

sonicfrog said...

Why do people keep writing letters telling me I need to go to McDonald's?

sonicfrog said...

Hey! I invented this!!!

Rodney Dill said...

"Sheryl Crow? Tell her to go away, she's just run of of TP."