Monday, April 30, 2007

Rudy Tootie Fresh 'n' Frootie


1. "What do you mean Gavin Newsome was the last man to 'handle' this microphone?"

2. "Oh, man, I just can't hold this one in anymore. For the love of God... SOMEBODY PULL MY FINGER!"

3. Soon to be seen on 3,000,000 moonbat blogs with the caption "Sieg Heil."

4. Rudy reacts to seeing an old friend... boning his ex-wife.

5. "And I probably won't confiscate your guns and use them to abort your babies!" Rudy again tries to meet the conservative base halfway.

Best of metalgarth
Randy said "Dawg, you got talent", Paula smiled and did a little dance in her chair. Simon called him a "talentless hack with no future". No one is really sure if Simon meant as a singer or as a serious presidential candidate.

Best of Jonathan
"For the last f##in' time: THIS is my handle and THIS is my spout!"

Best of Jack Reacher
"And then My Pet Goat went waaaaay back in the pasture...hang on, I'm telling a story here..."

Best of Van Helsing
Rudy terrifies voters by describing the sight of Shrillary silhouetted against a full moon as she flies into the White House on her broom.

Best of Double the U
People give me credit for cleaning up the crime in New York city, in reality I just moved the criminals to upstate New York.

Best of Silhouette
"Feelings. Nothing more than feelings."

Best of prince of leaves
"So I walked into the hotel room, not knowing what to expect, and there was Hillary, lying naked on her back on the bear rug, and no kidding, the damn thing came up to HERE!"

Best of Submariner
♪Somewhere, over the f****n' rainbow...♪

Best of Targetpractice
"This is your candidate. This is your candidate with 240 volts running through him. Any questions?"

"Yeah, he's been stuck in that pose ever since Fred Thompson announced his candidacy. We've started using him as a coat rack."

Best of Rodney Dill
"You must be this tall to ride the Italian Stallion."

Best of sonicfrog
"Great Scott"!!! Rudy Giuliani has been cast as Doc Brown in the latest unnecessary Hollywood remake, "Back To The Future".

Best of Rodney Dill
"... and I live in a van down by the river."

Hat Tip: Double U
Source: Yahoo/Roto-Reuters/Lisa Something

28 comments:

Submariner said...

C'mere, McKinney; let me show you what a New York cop does when you bi-yotch slap him...

The Man said...

Sieg Hillary

Dickey Swollenz said...

The Verification word should have been "grbbbx". That's the sound Rudy made when Sully invaded his space.

metalgarth said...

Randy said "Dawg, you got talent", Paula smiled and did a little dance in her chair. Simon called him a "talentless hack with no future". No one is really sure if Simon meant as a singer or as a serious presidential candidate.

Jonathan said...

"For the last f##in' time: THIS is my handle and THIS is my spout!"

Jack Reacher said...

"And then My Pet Goat went waaaaay back in the pasture...hang on, I'm telling a story here..."

Standard Caption 14-A: "Braiiiiins!"

"I put my left foot in, but can't seem to take it out. I don't think the hokey pokey really is what it's all about."

Van Helsing said...

Rudy terrifies voters by describing the sight of Shrillary silhouetted against a full moon as she flies into the White House on her broom.

Double the U said...

People give me credit for cleaning up the crime in New York city, in reality I just moved the criminals to upstate New York.

Double the U said...

..."Whole other level."

Silhouette said...

"Feelings. Nothing more than feelings."

Anonymous said...

Where will you be when the blotter acid kicks in?!

sixdegreesofblondness said...

"So we were still climbing, not quite at altitude, when Andrew Sullivan comes up behind me, and... 'Ooof!'"

(#3 is probably an accurate prediction :-/ )

prince of leaves said...

"So I walked into the hotel room, not knowing what to expect, and there was Hillary, lying naked on her back on the bear rug, and no kidding, the damn thing came up to HERE!"

prince of leaves said...

"So I says to him, 'No, Dick -- you won't even bring down an *outhouse* if you pack your thermate like that!"

Submariner said...

No sh!t I SWEAR that colon was this tall!

Submariner said...

Moe, Larry, CHEESE!

Submariner said...

I had a wife that shopped at the Susquehanna Hat Company...

Submariner said...

♪Somewhere, over the f****n' rainbow...♪

Cricket said...

"And then what really freaked me out was when Senator Clinton's head turned 360 degrees."

Targetpractice said...

"This is your candidate. This is your candidate with 240 volts running through him. Any questions?"

"Yeah, he's been stuck in that pose ever since Fred Thompson announced his candidacy. We've started using him as a coat rack."

And, of course, Standard Caption #12: "Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?"

Rodney Dill said...

"You must be this tall to ride the Italian Stallion ride."

sonicfrog said...

"Great Scott"!!! Rudy Giuliani has been cast as Doc Brown in the latest unnecessary Hollywood remake, "Back To The Future".

Rodney Dill said...

"... and I live in a van down by the river."

snarky one said...

"Hillary levitated this high after being told that Bill had had another extra marital eruption."

Rodney Dill said...

"Kobe... Kobe... you are feeling sleepy... when you awake you will think I'm open..."

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adjustah said...

Braaaaaiiiiiinsssss!

Submariner said...

♪I am woman, hear me roar...♪