Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Patrick Kennedy's Baby Picture

1. "Hey! Who do you have to f**k to get more Jesus Juice around here... Oh, never mind."

2. Later, the two drunken little girls kicked Keith Olbermann's ass.

3. "I gotta keep drinking until you look good, you nappy-headed ho."

4. "Hey, if you saw what Mr. Miyagi was going to Ralph Macchio's ass, you'd need to drink, too."

5. By adding trailer park backdrops and culturally-sensitive props, Wal-Mart doubled its baby portrait business.
Best of jeff
"In toddler taste tests, MGD was spit up 50% less often that Carlsberg..."

Best of Jack Reacher
Children of U.S. attorneys fired by the Bush administration slip into despair.

Best of Rodney Dill
SOTG and Submariner started bonding together long before the invention of the caption contest.

Best of Silhouette
They can barely walk and fall down a lot, they spit up, you can't make out what they're saying, they tend to wet themselves... but enough about Congressional Democrats...

Best of Double the U
Quit crying and keep drinking before she gets back or we'll have to watch Mr. Rogers sober.

Best of sixdegreesofblondness
Ron White and a playmate.

Best of prince of leaves
"Yeah, well, you'd drink too if you had to face that creepy Russian playground equipment every day at playtime."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
ORA: Mortimer and Randolph Duke iron out their future(s).

Best of the paperboy
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Then I caught her spending $65 on makeup. And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't. She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for. I don't think she's coming back.

Best of Double the U
Sad part is the bottles of beer have less alcohol then the mother's breast milk.

Best of Submariner
Woody Allen resorts to new tactics for finding his newest wife.

Best of Rodney Dill
Hillary's village was okay, but Teddy's kicks ass!

Best of attmay
"Jim Henson's The Days of Wine and Roses Babies" never made it past the pilot stage.

Hat Tip: Timmeh!

29 comments:

jeff said...

"In toddler taste tests, MGD was spit up 50% less often that Carlsberg..."

"If you learned how to drink beer on a swing at a tender age... you might be a redneck."

Jack Reacher said...

The play date went well until one called the other a fag, and then had to wait fifteen years until she was old enough to check into rehab.

"So, ah, you meeting with Michael Jackson later, too?"
"Yep. Pass me another bottle."

Children of U.S. attorneys fired by the Bush administration slip into despair.

Rodney Dill said...

SOTG and Submariner started bonding together long before the invention of the caption contest.

Silhouette said...

They can barely walk and fall down a lot, they spit up, you can't make out what they're saying, they tend to wet themselves...hell, a baby is indistinguishable from a drunk anyway.

Silhouette said...

But why did Laura dress Jenna as a boy?

Anonymous said...

Working their ways up to 40s.

Van Helsing said...

Ted Kennedy never should have been allowed to take the lead in devising government preschool programs.

Rodney Dill said...

Drink up Shriners

Double the U said...

Quit crying and keep drinking before she gets back or we'll have to watch Mr. Rogers sober.

Silhouette said...

Gallant politely sips his imported, while...

Double the U said...

Slow down Jimmy! Whenever you drink that fast you crap your pants and spit up.

sixdegreesofblondness said...

Half of "The Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Early Years"

Or, just Ron White and a playmate.

prince of leaves said...

"Yeah, well, you'd drink too if you had to face that creepy Russian playground equipment every day at playtime."

prince of leaves said...

Kids grow up so fast these days. Before you know it, these two will be pulling themselves up and toddling across the park to score some crack.

Son Of The Godfather said...

BEFORE I read Rodney Dill's cap!:

SOTG: "I dunno, Subby, what can this lifestyle lead to?... Writing lame caps on a website in 30 or 40 years?..."

Ha!... PS, I'm writing this while completely drunk off my ass in real life!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Training begins early at the Kennedy compound.

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA:
Mortimer and Randolph Duke iron out their future(s).

the paperboy said...

She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Then I caught her spending $65 on makeup. And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't. She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for. I don't think she's coming back.

GOP & College said...

Teddy says if I do like him, I can make a career in Washington too!

Cybrludite said...

SOTG and Subby, your prom dates are here!

Submariner said...

Very freakin' funny people, but our prom dates only drank Guinness or Fosters...

Submariner said...

Hurry up, Patrick; we have a Congressional vote to get to...

Double the U said...

Sad part is the bottles of beer have less alcohol then the mother's breast milk.

Submariner said...

Woody Allen resorts to new tactics for finding his newest wife.

Submariner said...

Unwilling to wait for nature, Hillary takes a page from the poultry industry and induces rapid livestock weight gain...

Rodney Dill said...

Maybe Hillary's village ain't so bad after all

attmay said...

"Jim Henson's The Days of Wine and Roses Babies" never made it past the pilot stage.

Rodney Dill said...

Eat your heart out Bill Gates, we got the copyright on 'iBeer'

Double the U said...

Okay, let's play a drinking game, every time she says, "who woves my whittle guy." in that stupid baby voice we have to take a drink.