Monday, April 23, 2007

The Nutty Perfesser

News Item: Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, who resigned in disgrace amid allegations of corruptions both fiscal and personal (he cheated on his wife with a man and appointed his unqualified boyfriend as state director of homeland security) will be teaching Ethics at Kean University in Union, NJ.


1. "Here at McGreevey's Mill, our skilled staff will abort any fetus for $99.95."

2. Searching for only "the best and the brightest" to fill posts in his administration, Jim McGreevey hit every rest area men's room on the New Jersey turnpike.

3. "Sure, you guys can work for my administration. I have plenty of holes to fill."

4. "Old Navy? Nunh-unh, girlfriend! We're gonna loot Filene's!"

5. "So, kiddies, I hope we've learned a valuable lesson today. Rimming first, then fisting."

Best of Jack Reacher
Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey explains his ethics philosophy to Sizzler employees Wayne and Skeeter.

Best of The Man
"I am smiling Sullivan, take the damn picture bitch!"

Best of Van Helsing
McCreepy promises his new friends he will win custody of his daughter by the next full moon. Otherwise the Ceremony will have to be postponed.

Best of lawhawk
Master, we just had to move Hoffa's body to make room for Golan Cipel's. Sorry about the mess.

Best of Adjustah
Emperor Palpatine and Darth Maul had hoped that their gay cruise holiday photos would never be made public.

Best of Anonymous
Sorry for the out of character comment, but did his wife really not realize he's a fruit?

Best of Jonathan
My word verification for this one is "zcBJHOT"! Read into that what you will.

Best of Jonathan
"You didn't get the memo, did ya, Jimmy? You're not exactly dressed for 'crazy candy' tonight, ya know?"

Best of Submariner
I'm Jimmy. This here's my "brother" Darryl and my other "brother" Darryl...

Best of Submariner
This here is a genuine man-eating zombie, but he's kinda particular about which parts he eats...

Tips to Van H (pic) and Lawhawk (story)

16 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Hump? What Hump?

Jack Reacher said...

"My favorite zombie is a nappy-headed zombie."

Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey offers employment to U.S. attorneys, fired by the Bush administration.

Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey explains his ethics philosophy to Sizzler employees Wayne and Skeeter.

Double the U said...

"The Muslim and the Jew" Jim McGreevey new one act play opens in San Fransisco to a delighted audience.

The Man said...

"I am smiling Sullivan, take the damn picture bitch!"

Van Helsing said...

McCreepy has promised his new friends he will win custody of his daughter by the next full moon. Otherwise the Ceremony will have to be postponed.

metalgarth said...

Some characters in the new Young Frankestien Movie: Igor, Dr. Frankenstien, and brain donor Abby Normal.

The Man said...

"You come to this rest stop often?"

lawhawk said...

Just another routine day at the Governor's mansion in New Jersey.

Jim, we just had to move Hoffa's body to make room for Golan Cipel's. Sorry about the mess.

evariste said...

I Googled it. I can't believe it's true!

Adjustah said...

Emperor Palpatine and Darth Maul had hoped that their gay cruise holiday photos would never be made public.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the out of character comment, but did his wife really not realize he's a fruit?

One look at him and my eight year old guffawed.

Jonathan said...

Nice. Making fun of a monk, a queer governor, and Leatherface. Read their stories. Educate yourselves. Morons.

(PS: My word verification for this one is "zcBJHOT"! Read into that what you will.)

Jonathan said...

"You didn't get the memo, did ya, Jimmy? You're not exactly dressed for 'crazy candy' tonight, ya know?"

Submariner said...

I'm Jimmy. This here's my "brother" Larry and my other "brother" Larry...

Submariner said...

This here is a genuine man-eating zombie, but he's kinda particular about which parts he eats...

Submariner said...

♪One a these things is not like the others...♪