Friday, April 13, 2007

I don't wanna sound queer or nothin' but... Ick.

1. What not to do with your Ronco Rhinestone Stud Setter.

2. A Terminator meets a Sperminator.

3. "A crappy studded ho? Close enough."

4. Better living through chemistry, the chemicals being silicon, collagen, roofies, and vi4gr4.

5. The Schwarzeneggar Work-Out Program did wonders for Courtney Love.

Best of Double the U
Gene Simmons and his mother have cosmetic surgery next on "Gene Simmons family values"

Best of Cybrludite
It gets more and more difficult for Michael Jackson to deny the carges of plastic surgery.

Best of Jack Reacher
U.S. attorneys, fired by the Bush administration, work on their networking skills at a meet-and-greet social event.

Best of andthenblammo!
"Damn you, Magic Wishing Fairy, you're 34 years late! I wanted my teddy bear Mr. Floppsy to come alive, not my 'Lissa Lipps' blowup sex doll!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
ZOIKS! I wish them both out into the cornfield immediately!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
If you hug her, does spooge come out her ears?

Best of the paperboy
"Kirk to Spock. No sign of the creature. Just more silicone nodules. Two of them. Rhinestone studded silicone nodules. Kirk out."

Best of Chrees
"I want my NGTV!" (next generation transvestite)

Best of Submariner
Rumor has it that even Howard Stern had too much self respect to "hit that..."

Best of snarky one
"Yes, after my breasts put his eyes out, I had to be the guide dog."

Best of Submariner
France unveils their new Special Forces Urban Assault Troop.

Best of prince of leaves
After only a week, Jim decided his new fembot was a lemon.



Hat Tip: Timmeh!

30 comments:

Double the U said...

Gene Simmons and his mother have cosmetic surgery next on "Gene Simmons family values"

Cybrludite said...

It gets more and more difficult for Michael Jackson to deny the carges of plastic surgery.

Cybrludite said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cybrludite said...

"Well, let's have one more look at that machete-wielding thursday hott... AUUUUUGH!" - Pretty Much Every Cap This Regular

Double the U said...

So Mom, what are you planning on doing with the money Grandpa left you?

jeff said...

Almost, but not quite, enough to make me look at homosexuality as an option.

Jack Reacher said...

U.S. attorneys, fired by the Bush administration, work on their networking skills at a meet-and-greet social event.

andthenblammo! said...

"Damn you, Magic Wishing Fairy, you're 34 years late! I wanted my teddy bear Mr. Floppsy to come alive, not my 'Lissa Lipps' blowup sex doll!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

ZOIKS! I wish them both out into the cornfield immediately!

Son Of The Godfather said...

WARNING - Pretty Gross Cap Alert:
If you hug her, does spooge come out her ears?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Nice to meet you, Mr.& Mrs. Olbermann..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

A nut and a slut?
A bore and a whore?

Anonymous said...

The plaintiff's attorney in the plastic surgery malpractice case presented exhibit A. Er, exhibits A and B. Make that exhibits A-D.

Aw hell, make that exhibits A-Z.

the paperboy said...

"Stop staring at my lips. Look at my tits when I talk to you."

Is this Ann Coulter's impression of a flaxen haired ho?

rip-off from SOTG: It's a stress toy. Squeeze her tits and her eyes and ears pop out.

Damn, where are my beer goggles when I really need them?

the paperboy said...

"Kirk to Spock. No sign of the creature. Just more silicone nodules. Two of them. Rhinestone studded silicone nodules. Kirk out."

V the K said...

Can you believe I was actually naive enough to think the jumping dog would get more comments?

Chrees said...

"I want my NGTV!" (next generation transvestite)

Rodney Dill said...

"Of course they're real, Anna Nicole willed 'em to me."

Submariner said...

Rumor has it that even Howard Stern had too much self respect to "hit that..."

Double the U said...

When I was twenty I wanted a girl who would love me as much as I loved her.
When I was thirty I wanted a girl who would be a good mother to my children.
When I was forty I wanted a woman I could grown old with.
When I was fifty I just wanted big tits.

Rodney Dill said...

Mick Jagger wants his lips back.

snarky one said...

"Yes, after my breasts put his eyes out, I had to be the guide dog."

prince of leaves said...

If you think she looks bad now, you should have seen her right after the polar bear mauling.

Cricket said...

Jean Harlow hair
Bette Davis eyes
Mick Jagger's lips
Anna Nicole's breasts

Yep, it is the bride of Frankenstein.

prince of leaves said...

[Okay, I just gotta ask...who IS this hideous freak of unnature? This is at least her third CapThis! appearance. I want to read her story and edumacate myself.]

Submariner said...

A stalwart Dan Blather fan, Fred knew he was every bit as real a woman as those memos were official TANG documents; "Courage."

Submariner said...

The marketing campaign for Kenner's new "DNC Barbie" was somewhat less successful than Domino's...

Submariner said...

France unveils their new Special Forces Urban Assault Troop.

Double the U said...

Hillary Clinton's health care, it isn't good, but it is "free".

prince of leaves said...

After only a week, Jim decided his new fembot was a lemon.