Saturday, April 14, 2007

Hungarian Fertility Rituals

1. Salt Lake City continues to be plagued by cross-dressing, drive-by baptisms.

2. "I know I gained a couple of pounds over the winter, but, c'mon, Greenpeace?"

3. Hillary's political opponents practice an assassination technique they got from The Wizard of Oz.

4. Attempts to get Paula Poundstone clean and sober enough for her appointment with Child Protective Services failed miserably.

5. This approximates the sensation of being interviewed by Keith Olbermann.

Best of Jack Reacher
In the village of Literal, describing a person as "really hot" could bring unexpected consequences.

Best of prince of leaves
Village elders applying the time-honored (if rarely successful) ritual of "washing out the gay".

Best of Submariner
Omar's Porterhouse Palace division of the Shriner's greeted k.d.lang in a somewhat less than happy manner...

Best of Jonathan
Those idiot Euros don't know the first thing about waterboarding!

Best of Silhouette
"VE SAID NO SCHMOKING!"

Best of Cybrludite
The Hungarians didn't quite grok the concept of Bukkake...

Best of Double the U
Britney Spears tried anything to wash herself clean from the fact she slept with K-Fed.

Best of Steve-O
The fertility effects of the fertility ritual are, of course, offset by the "birth control" effects of the costumes.


Hat Tip: Brenda Walker

17 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

In the village of Literal, describing a person as "really hot" could bring unexpected consequences.

Reversing the Borat premise for a film called "Cultural Learnings of Kazakhstan For Make Benefit America" proved to be one of the less successful sequels in recent years.

Double the U said...

When I eat a York Peppermint patty...

prince of leaves said...

Village elders applying the time-honored (if rarely successful) ritual of "washing out the gay".

prince of leave said...

The strange initiation rites of Hungarian Rotarians -- next on "In Search Of..."

prince of leaves said...

The traditional welcome ceremony in the remote Hungarian village unexpectedly washed away his makeup and wig, leaving Michael Jackson with some uncomfortable explaining to do.

prince of leaves said...

Most tourists found Hungarian wet-t-shirt contests oddly disappointing.

Submariner said...

Omar's Porterhouse Palace division of the Shriner's greeted k.d.lang in a somewhat less than happy manner...

Jonathan said...

Those idiot Euros don't know the first thing about waterboarding!

Submariner said...

Failure to properly learn the "Chicken Dance" sequence were dealt with swiftly at Williamsburg's Oktoberfest.

Submariner said...

Now ist der time at Schprocket's vhen ve vash...

Double the U said...

Remember kids, it is STOP, DROP, and ROLL, otherwise four men in strange clothing will come out and throw water on you.

Double the U said...

The DailyKos members initiate a new member by covering them with urine to improve their smell.

the paperboy said...

Oktoberfest attendees who violate the dress code are ejected to the tune of ♫I'm gonna wash that man right out of my fair♫

Silhouette said...

"VE SAID NO SCHMOKING!"

Cybrludite said...

The Hungarians didn't quite grok the concept of Bukkake...

Double the U said...

Britney Spears tried anything to wash herself clean from the fact she slept with K-Fed.

Anonymous said...

The fertility effects of the fertility ritual are, of course, offset by the "birth control" effects of the costumes.

Steve O