Friday, April 06, 2007

The Honorable Mayor of SFO Understands His Base

1. "You call that a gag reflex," sniffed Sullington. "I once deep-throated an entire submarine. Not the crew, the actual submarine."

2. "We hypnotized him to think the microphone is Barack Obama's left nut. Next, he clucks like a chicken."

3. When the robot invaders from planet 2 attacked San Francisco, the mayor appeased them in the time-honored, Castro Street tradition.

4. Off-screen, right, and lower, the crew from channel 4 was making the mayor 'airtight.'

5. As part of the 'Safe Sex Drive,' Gavin Newsom shows how to put on a condom.

Best of The Man
Mr. Newsom, Barney Frank is on the line, he really...really wants to talk to you.

Best of Double the U
With Nancy Pelosi in the Middle East Mayor Gavin takes over the duties of sucking off the media.

Best of Submariner
Gavin lost further credibility with his constituency when he gagged on only 1 microphone...

Best of Submariner
I'm in training - once I can handle all 4 major networks at once, I'm heading for Avalon Manor...

Best of prince of leaves
Bearded Guy: "Why couldn't it have been me, Gavin? Why? Why???"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Mr.Mayor, how to you plan to appease the Islamofascists when they take control?"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
ORA: "Let me explain to you the kind of man Gavin is. He's a man who knows that when you put another man's c*ck in your mouth, you make a pact. A bond that cannot be broken. He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees and put that c*ck right in his mouth."



Hat Tip: Frank IBC

26 comments:

Double the U said...

The Mayor of San Fransisco is show here trying to regain his trust with the citizens after being caught having an affair with a woman.

Rodney Dill said...

"If I have to cover just one more story like that bikini firefighter I'll..."

Rodney Dill said...

Earl's first attempt to commit suicide, by drinking that water that's left over after making hotdogs, had not been very successful either.

Lewis said...

Wow, it really is true what they say about Krispy Kreme doughnuts!

The Man said...

Mr. Newsom, Barney Frank is on the line, he really...really wants to talk to you.

Double the U said...

With Nancy Pelosi in the Middle East Mayor Gavin takes over the duties of sucking off the media.

sonicfrog said...

Andrew's first though was - "eh, I've had bigger..."

Van Helsing said...

A certain set of skills is required to qualify as Mayor of San Francisco.

Double the U said...

San Fransisco's Kindergarten health education class.

Submariner said...

Gavin lost further credibility with his constituency when he gagged on only 1 microphone...

Submariner said...

Mayor Newsome responds to the question "Now that you've won election in San Francisco, what will you do now?"
Film at 11.

Submariner said...

I'm in training - once I can handle all 4 major networks at once, I'm heading for Avalon Manor...

prince of leaves said...

Bearded Guy: "Why couldn't it have been me, Gavin? Why? Why???"

prince of leaves said...

Safe Interviewing Tip #456741: always use a nerf condom.

prince of leaves said...

Verification word "abmmiamh": the sound Gavin Newsom makes when he really gets into being interviewed.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Mr.Mayor, how to you plan to appease the Islamofascists when they take control?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Willy Wonka corallary #137:
Just because everything is edible, doesn't mean...

Son Of The Godfather said...

The Mayor of San Francisco apologizes to Jesse Jackson.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Gavin Newsom "polls" quite well in San Francisco.

or

Gavin Newsom is a master at manipulating poles (sic) :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

The swearing-in ceremony is done a little differently in this city.

Jack Reacher said...

After this incident, Channel 2's microphones were prominently labeled "For external use only."

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA:
"Let me explain to you the kind of man Gavin is. He's a man who knows that when you put another man's c*ck in your mouth, you make a pact. A bond that cannot be broken. He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees and put that c*ck right in his mouth."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Why, oh WHY couldn't he have been standing in a puddle right then?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I wish I knew how to quit 2."

Submariner said...

Back in the day, the circus geeks satisfied themselves biting the heads off chickens. I'm just sayin'...

Double the U said...

Only in San Fransisco would a Mayor think, "This will be funny."