Monday, April 09, 2007

Givin' Her Some Juice


1. "Oh, crap, we left Karl Rove's kid in the back seat for nine hours on a hot day. Well, on the bright side, at least we don't have to worry that he'll ever do menial labor like a Mexican."

2. "No, Mr. President. That's a LAN cable. You've never worked a self-service pump in your life, have you, y'croquet-playing mint-muncher?"

3. Gallant corrects the president when he attempts to fuel the car with the wrong cable, while Goofus pisses on the back tires.

4. "Where's the airbag? I think he's up at Hyannis Port getting sh*tfaced."

5. "Mr. President, please tell me you didn't really think that plugging your xBox into this car would let you slip into a virtual-reality Grand Theft Auto game... a la Tron?"


"Mr. President, the Veep's looking at your ass again."


"No, Mr. President, this is not a 'nucular' car. It's a hybrid."


"Get it? It's a breathylizer hooked up to Teddy's car! Heh-heh-heh! Geez, Dick, you used to have a sense of humor."


The other end of the cable is attached to a stationary bicycle, pedaled maniacally by Sped Begley, powering the car in an eco-friendly manner. Unfortunately the car can't go any farther than the cable.


Confound it, just how do you siphon the juice outta this here kinda car.


"But where do ya put the f'in corn?"


Ok Mr. President, you just plug it in, you don't have to keep making the "Vrooom, Vrooom" sounds.



Hat tip: Headmistress Sondra

17 comments:

Double the U said...

When I was a kid "plugging in the car" meant something different.

Double the U said...

This cord is just to recharge the power steering, power windows, the anti theft, the DVD, the monitors, the stereo system, the GPS, and the game machine? Jebus, don't people DRIVE cars anymore?

Jonathan said...

"Mr. President, the Veep's looking at your ass again."

Jonathan said...

"Sir, if you're going to siphon Speaker Pelosi's gas tank, you might want to get a bigger hose."

Jonathan said...

"No, Mr. President, this is not a 'nucular' car. It's a hybrid."

Jonathan said...

"Get it? It's a breathylizer hooked up to Teddy's car! Heh-heh-heh! Geez, Dick, you used to have a sense of humor."

Van Helsing said...

The other end of the cable is attached to a stationary bicycle, pedaled maniacally by Sped Begley, powering the car in an eco-friendly manner. Unfortunately the car can't go any farther than the cable.

Jack Reacher said...

"And this cable allows us to hear Nancy Pelosi's speeches...er, why are you unplugging that, Mr. President?"

jeff said...

"Funny place for a fuel tank, up here in front of the driver."

"How many miles per electron does it get?"

Rodney Dill said...

Confound it, just how do you siphon the juice outta this here kinda car.

Rodney Dill said...

"Who's car are you keying, Mr. President?"
"Pelosi's, of course."

Rodney Dill said...

"After that Segway incident, I'm just checking to make sure this sucker is turned on."

Rodney Dill said...

"But where do ya put the f'in corn?"

Double the U said...

Ok Mr. President, you just plug it in, you don't have to keep making the "Vrooom, Vrooom" sounds.

Cybrludite said...

"The Yellow Jester does not play, but gently pulls the strings, and smiles as his puppets dance in the Court Of The Crimson King..."

bubbalove said...

The Prez - fantasizing about him and Condi breaking in the backseat.
The VicePrez - fantasizing about him and Nancy P. breaking in the backseat.
The Inventor - fantasizing about him and GM breaking in the backseat!

Double the U said...

... The inventor - fantasizing about him and Algore breaking in the back seat.