Monday, April 23, 2007

Candy From Strangers


1. "Shee-yit, even I ain't perverted enough to hit this... or am I?"

2. "Hey, Hill', one of your lab animals got out of the dissection room again!"

3. "FINISH HIM!"

4. "Watch this, over the shoulder, nothing but net!"

5. "Hey, one of those NAMBLA guys left this in the Lincoln Bedroom."

6. "No, I ordered the two Big Macs and Extra Large Fries. This must be Hillary's lunch."

7. "The 'Clinton Library Fund' needs $1 million. Have you ever seen a kid with shaken baby syndrome? It ain't pretty."

8. "You do have a point, Mr. Carr. If they can't talk, they sure as Hell can't blab."

9. "They were cleanin' out the drains at NARAL and look what they found!"

10. "No, Al Gore, this one won't 'git in your belly' either."

Best of metalgarth
Lessee… He’s 2 years old. That means he was conceived 'round summer of 2004. He’s got blue eyes, blonde hair… Nope, can’t be mine. I was going through my ‘Wild Asian Mama’ period back then.

Best of The Man
Ahh no hair, few teeth, can't understand a damn thing they say...reminds me of being single in Arkansas.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Naw this one ain't mine, his pee pee's too small."

Best of Double the U
Ohhh, hey there little guy, I see you have some spit up on your little shirt, well Uncle Billy knows a thing or two on how to get stains out of clothing.

Best of Zeke
Yes This clone will do, prepare for the transfer.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Hey Hill, get some root beer, I wanna make a baby float."

Best of andthenblammo!
"One more cootchy-cootchy out of you, Bubba, and you're headed for the corn field........"

Best of 2spothipshot
"I know this is your gig Hil, but can I be there when the commandos storm in to take him back to 'his dad' in Iran ?"

Best of Submariner
Bill surveys the "surprise" Chelsea brought home from college...

Hat tip: Subby
Source: Here

20 comments:

metalgarth said...

Lessee… He’s 2 years old. That means he was conceived 'round summer of 2004. He’s got blue eyes, blonde hair… Nope, can’t be mine. I was going through my ‘Wild Asian Mama’ period back then.

The Man said...

Ahh no hair, few teeth, can't understand a damn thing they say...reminds me of being single in Arkansas.

Rodney Dill said...

"Naw this one ain't mine, his pee pee's too small."

Double the U said...

Hey Hillary, look what I found here under the carpet in the oval office.

Double the U said...

Hey Hillary, I gots me another one for your village.

Double the U said...

Ohhh, hey there little guy, I see you have some spit up on your little shirt, well Uncle Billy knows a thing or two on how to get stains out of clothing.

Zeke said...

Yes This clone will do, prepare for the transfer.

Rodney Dill said...

"Damn, another whitehouse leak."

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey Hill, get some root beer, I wanna make a baby float."

Submariner said...

♪I coulda danced, all night...♪

Submariner said...

♪Shake, shake, shake.
Shake, shake, shake;
Shake yer baby...♪

Double the U said...

Wow, this little guy can sure fill a diaper up quick... Better get Cheryl over here so she can clean this up with one square.

Jack Reacher said...

"Yes, I changed his diaper, but I didn't inhale."

"That outfit you're wearing reminds me of a blue dress I once knew....naww, couldn't be."

Jonathan said...

"I would say it's a scratch, NOT a pick."

(Seinfeld reference, in case anyone's lost)

andthenblammo! said...

"Well, yes he is a mite inexperienced; but his dad tossed 5 million into the campaign coffers. So meet your new Secretary of Defense!"

andthenblammo! said...

"One more cootchy-cootchy out of you, Bubba, and you're headed for the corn field........"

2spothipshot said...

"HILLARY! Fedex delivered the little towhead you ordered from Korea.That was really clever how you had a "love-child" cloned with Obamas' actual DNA. Say, how'd you get his DNA anyway ? And where's your blue dress...?"

2spothipshot said...

"I know this is your gig Hil, but can I be there when the commandos storm in to take him back to 'his dad' in Iran ?"

Submariner said...

Bill must decide; "Can I can stop at just kissin' the baby???"

Submariner said...

Bill surveys the "surprise" Chelsea brought home from college...