Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Breck Girl... Now With Afro Sheen


1. "Come on, Al. A little Breck will take the nap right out of that 'do."

2. "Hey, buddy. Spare $400 for a haircut?"

3. "Take me now, right here on the podium, take me roughly, you full-lipped Mandinka!"

4. "Hey, can you do some of that voodoo shango stuff you people do to cure my wife's cancer?"

5. "I'm channeling MLK, he says you're no better than a nappy head... uh, never mind."

6. "Yeah! I'm down with the struggle. So, what'll it take to get the you people vote? More welfare? Reparations? Midnight basketball? Fortified liquor subsidies? You name it."

7. "I'd love to go in the shrimpin' business with you, Bubba."

8. "Homes, wait 'til you see my dope new Transformer. It'll rock your world."

9. "I always thought you were good looking and articulate."

10. "Your butt plug? I think Chavez still has it."

Best of metalgarth
The gay version of "Middle Aged Political Lust Mamas in Trouble" made far less in DVD sales than the original.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Walk with me, Al. I can get you into Livonia, no problem."

Best of Rodney Dill
Sharpton: "Run, Forrest, Run."

Best of Double the U
Can I be part of the "Justice Brothers" Al? Please, I am a really good lawyer, please let me be part of the Justice Brothers...please?

Best of curly
“To me, waterboarding would mean going from wash-wash-rince to wash-rinse-wash.”

Best of Submariner
Take me now and call me Shehag...

Best of 2spotlefty
"Hey Sharpie baby, could ya spare a good ol' boy some a that Nivea? I'm gettin' a little ashy over here."

Best of 2spothipshot
"Okay, here's the keys to my baby. Now remember, don't buff it out too hard and it's the boysenberry air freshener this time, not you guys watching 'Boys in the Hood' on my DVD player ! You got me son ?"


Hat Tip: Sondra K

32 comments:

metalgarth said...

The gay version of "Middle Aged Political Lust Mamas in Trouble" made far less in DVD sales than the original.

Jack Reacher said...

"You should come to my plantation house. It's grand."

"Lookin' good, bro. I see you've been to my hair salon."

"Walk with me, Al. I can get you into Livonia, no problem."

divine miss m said...

Apparently, rumors of John Ritter's death were greatly exaggerated.

Rodney Dill said...

Sharpton: "Run, Forrest, Run."

Double the U said...

Can I be part of the "Justice Brothers" Al? Please, I am a really good lawyer, please let me be part of the Justice Brothers...please?

curly said...

“I’m a Gemini and my wife has Cancer. What’s your sign?”

“Like you, Al, I seldom have bad hair days.”

“While Bill Clinton was the first Black President, I plan to be the first Nappy Headed Ho President.”

curly said...

“To me, waterboarding would mean going from wash-wash-rince to wash-rinse-wash.”

The Great Satans Sr Intern said...

Help me get elected in 08, and I promise to make Imus your slave

The Great Satan Sr Intern said...

Is my tic tac working Al?, Jessie said I had to kiss his ass to talk with him.

Submariner said...

Take me now and call me Shehag...

Submariner said...

Don't you EVER "cut the cheese" and blame me again...

curly said...

Example #673 of how things work in fours, in this case times that rhyme with “O”: Imus/Shaarpton’s’ nappy-headed hos; the death of Don Ho; a mass murder in Virginia named Cho, and now two leftist homos.

“I saw how the right-wingers went nuts over the video of your two minutes of hair fussin’. Thank goodness there’s no cameras in my dressing room; it takes me ten minutes to get my pompadour just right.”

“Look Al, I know your were pissed over Imus’ words…sometimes, you just got to wash that man right out of your hair.”

curly said...

“We won; let’s celebrate! Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said the war in Iraq is lost.”

Adjustah said...

Haircut: $400. Watch: $14.95 at WalMart!

Rodney Dill said...

"Good News Al. Look up... We found yo momma's undies."

curly said...

"Gimme a big hug, you nappy headed Cho."

Van Helsing said...

"Give me back my wallet, Al, or I swear I'll refuse to kiss your ring."

2spotlefty said...

"Yeah! You're cool with ME Al. I know you come from good 'House Negro' stock."

2spotlefty said...

"Say,I got a REALLY big house,is your bitch available durin' the day?"

2spotlefty said...

"Lilly Bells hair IS 'Golden brown' boy, so we better not see yer black ass comin' 'round."

2spotlefty said...

"Yessum Massuh Edwards, weez guine ta duliva dem votes next fall.Yessah, and den we'll neva hapta show dem dare fotogaphs a you 'n my niece."

2spotlefty said...

"Hey Sharpie baby, could ya spare a good ol' boy some a that Nivea? I'm gettin' a little ashy over here."

2spotlefty said...

"If you don't get your friggin' hand off-a me now whiteboy,me and my boys are gonna go all 'BUFU' on your ass!"

2spotlefty said...

As the Ripleys cameras rolled, it could finally be told - That this was the greatest meeting of 2 colossal a-holes since Chavez and Sheehan broke the longstanding record held by Hitler and Mousolini.

Double the U said...

Al, I want you to know what an inspiration you were to me...without you I would never have those two mansions and all that land.

2spothipshot said...

"For the last time! The help door is around back boy!"

2spothipshot said...

(Meanwhile, at the NAACP presser)"Man, you people sure a tough crowd.Could ya help me out and take the podium for a minute there 'Kunta'?"

2spothipshot said...

"Yeah yeah, 'Umba gumba,booga booga booga' to you too there my fellow citizen who happens to be black,I gotta go freshen up my hilights. Bye bye now!"

2spothipshot said...

"Yer kiddin' me right? You're gonna go on camera with THAT on yer head?..... It looks good on you though."

2spothipshot said...

"Okay, here's the keys to my baby. Now remember, don't buff it out too hard and it's the boysenberry air freshener this time, not you guys watching 'Boys in the Hood' on my DVD player ! You got me son ?"

2spothipshot said...

"Mr. Sharpton, I just channeled Malcom X and all I can say is...(sobbing) I didn't know man,I didn't know! I'm so sorry! Can you ever forgive my sorry white a** ?"

2spothipshot said...

"Seriously Bra, when I'm da prez, you da numba 1 stunna of housing secretary candidate in my cabinet."