Thursday, April 26, 2007

Beauty and the Stupidcow


1. "You're... crushing... my... hand!"

2. "Holy sh*t, Debbie. Light really does bend around you!"

3. "How do I get away with a strapless gown at a funeral? Because I can do it without people yelling 'Free Willy,' you stupid cow."

4. "Don't worry senator, I'm sure there'll be plenty of plankton and krill at the buffet for you to strain through your plates of baleen."

5. "I'll miss your demented conspiracy theories now that you've been fired from The View."

Best of Submariner
Why, no, I never get that "not so fresh" feeling. But my sense of smell tells me that you do...

Best of Jack Reacher
"Actually, when I said 'I'm open' I was waving to Kobe over there."

Best of The Man
Debbie: "No, I am here to meet a 13 year old girl that looks freakishly like you...why is John Walsh here?"

Best of The Man
Your representative is so fat, she gets 2 votes.
Your representative is so fat, her district has stretch marks.
Your representative is so fat, when she speaks to the House, she leaves a trail of gravy.
Your representative is so fat, her trip to Japan was cut short when the Japanese military started attacking her.
Your representative is so fat, the Kool-aid Lobby donates money when she wears red.

Best of Double the U
You keep staring at my necklace and smiling, you must really admire the necklace.

Best of Jay Guevara
"I'm glad you found another gig. I really thought you'd score a lot better in the NFL Combine, but those other linemen were tough."

Best of Submariner
Sorry, Debby. I already promised Subby I'd go to the prom with him...

Source: Excite News/ Ass Press/Lauren Burke

21 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

(sniff) "I smell urine, you been listening to Shery Crow?"

Submariner said...

Why, no, I never get that "not so fresh" feeling. But my sense of smell tells me that you do...

Submariner said...

Whoa, Al; you've REALLY let yourself go!

Jack Reacher said...

"Actually, when I said 'I'm open' I was waving to Kobe over there."

A former U.S. attorney, fired by the Bush administration, attempts to hook up with a lucrative domestic relationship.

The Man said...

Debbie: "No, I am here to meet a 13 year old girl that looks freakishly like you...why is John Walsh here?"

(Source)

The Man said...

Wow, when they said the Democrats had a much larger presence on Capitol Hill, they weren't lying.

The Man said...

Your representative is so fat, when she says that she's going to just lie around the House of Representatives, she is literally lying around the House of Representatives

The Man said...

Your representative is so fat, she gets 2 votes.

Your representative is so fat, her district has stretch marks.

Your representative is so fat, when she speaks to the House, she leaves a trail of gravy.

Your representative is so fat, her trip to Japan was cut short when the Japanese military started attacking her.

The Man said...

Your representative is so fat, she doesn't kiss babies, she eats them.

Your representative is so fat, the Kool-aid Lobby donates money when she wears red.

Double the U said...

You keep staring at my necklace and smiling, you must really admire the necklace.

Jay Guevara said...

"I'm glad you found another gig. I really thought you'd score a lot better in the NFL Combine, but those other linemen were tough."

Michigan-Matt said...

Debbie: (sniff) "Well, when I wear black it doesn't make ME look thin. Why's it work for you?"

Adjustah said...

Does anyone else smell gin and Vicodin?

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Ohhhhhh, you must be the 'smelly pirate hooker' that the gang at Cap This! keep referring to...

Submariner said...

Sorry, Debby. I already promised Subby I'd go to the prom with him...
(thank God!)

Anonymous said...

Some humerous pics I just had to share.

Obama and Al Sharpton (scroll down):
http://sistertoldjah.com/archives/2007/04/22/caption-this-weekend-edition/

Police officers pretending to be gay:
http://www.citizenlink.org/CLNews/A000004488.cfm

Anonymous said...

Well, wouldn't you avert your eyes a little if Rosie O'Donnell were standing right in front of your face?

(Of course I meant to type humORous not "humerous" just now...my lousy typing skills...)

divine miss m said...

Standard caption #64: "Where will YOU be when your laxative kicks in?"

sixdegreesofblondness said...

Ah... so YOU were the "man hands" model in that Seinfeld episode.
Makes sense now.

Double the U said...

(Woman in background) Turn around and look, I think we might have a breeder here at our private function.