Friday, March 30, 2007

Too Easy


1. "Is Your Ass Bigger Than Hillary's?", coming to Fox!

2. Hilldog was grateful Ballsack's endorsement would help her against Barack Obama, she just wished he'd stop referring to it as "helping with her B.O. problem."

3. Moments later, the snuke detonated and brought the press conference, and the Hilldog campaign, to a merciful close.

4. "Thanks to Hilldog's generous payment, I'll be able to transform myself into the woman of my dreams, with tits out to here."

5. As Ballsack yammered on and on about his enlarged prostate, Hilldog wondered what kind of fake hick accent she'd have to use to grease the rubes in this backwater sh*thole state.

6. While Ballsack describes her vast tracts of open land, Hilldog fondly recalls the night she spent naked in a tree with his daughter.

7. "... also, as part of the deal, I have agreed to have a mechanical clamp installed on my testicles, so that if I deviate from strict obedience, Hilldog can... YOW!..."

8. Longtime aides recognize Hilldog's "up-all-night-pounding-vodka-shots-with-Janet-Reno-and-Rosie-O'Donnell" hangover face from a mile away.

9. "Not only did Hilldog pay off my campaign debt, she also helped me save a bundle on car insurance by switching to GEICO."

Best of Submariner
Uuuuuuhhhhhh, Kobe? The Empress herself has given me permission to inform you that she is 'open' and you are to throw the ball to me so I may hand it to her with the intent to 'score' so that she can show that she's down with the sports scene, too...

Best of mo fo
“Sure, Ballsack is an akward name, but subconsciously it does suggest manliness.”

Best of Submariner
Endorse her? Of course!
(there's a gun in my back and she keeps whisperin' "Vince Foster, Vince Foster, Vince...")

Best of Submariner
That's it... pucker up and kiss my big ol' butt, Ballsack...

Best of Jay Guevara
Hillary thought bubble: "Made you my bitch, yes I did."

Best of curly
"I asked her if she need a Ballsack on her team, but she said she already had two of 'em hangin'."


Hat Tip: Van H

17 comments:

Submariner said...

Uuuuuuhhhhhh, Kobe? The Empress herself has given me permission to inform you that she is 'open' and you are to throw the ball to me so I may hand it to her with the intent to 'score' so that she can show that she's down with the sports scene, too...

Submariner said...

No pooh! Like THAT! Much bigger'n Cheney!

mo fo said...

“Sure, Ballsack is an akward name, but subconsciously it does suggest manliness.”

“Sen. Clinton’s smirk? Well, we just came from the cloakroom where I inacted my version of ‘on the Hill’…”

Submariner said...

Barak - Can't we all just get along?

Submariner said...

Endorse her? Of course!
(there's a gun in my back and she keeps whisperin' "Vince Foster, Vince Foster, Vince...")

Jack Reacher said...

Hillary Clinton grimaces through an intestinal gas episode while listening to a description of her husband's relationship to the truth.

"So I said 'Come and get some man-meat, Barak' and, well, you'll have to read the book to find out what happened next. Thank you."

Van Helsing said...

"Not only will Shrillary help pay off my campaign debts in return for my endorsement, she promises that if I wear a leash and pant like a doggie, she'll even help me out with my car payments."

Submariner said...

Shrill's thought bubble; (If I'd a had the secret to Rove's mind control shtick back when Bill was President, we'd ALREADY have socialized medicine...)

Submariner said...

That's it... pucker up and kiss my big ol' butt, Ballsack...

The Man said...

I told Hilldog that I could use a little snitch, she 'said me too, 'cause mine's as big as a house'.

The Man said...

Some people may call it a bribe...but we are sure proud to endorse Hilldog. We were going to do it even if she did pay off my campaign's $400k debt.

Honest.

Jay Guevara said...

Hillary thought bubble: "Made you my bitch, yes I did."

Tomslick said...

Tom Vilsack, the former Iowa governor and one-time Democratic presidential candidate, will endorse Slunt in her presidential bid, officials told The Associated Press on Friday.

jeff said...

"Nothing to see here, just another ethical Democrat, move along, move along..."

Double the U said...

[HER:] They say we're young and we don't know
We won't find out until we grow
[HIM:] Well I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you

[HIM:] Babe
[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe

[HER:] They say our love won't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent
[HIM:] I guess that's so, we don't have a pot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got

[HIM:] Babe
[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe

curly said...

Everybody now: "I don't feel no ways tired."

"I asked her if she need a Ballsack on her team, but she said she already had two of 'em hangin'."

USpace said...

Funny stuff, what a PIAPS...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
never watch South Park

sarcasm never works
when exposing hypocrites
.